


Fever Pitch

by SterlingAg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Businessman Kei, Drug Abuse, Dubious Consent, HSD Kei, Host Kuroo, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Slow Build, Strangers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:52:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterlingAg/pseuds/SterlingAg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo Tetsurou, number one male host in Tokyo, lives day to day going through the motions. It never mattered how many people threw themselves at his feet. That is, until cold and harsh Tsukishima Kei came into his life. Now Kuroo finds himself in a whirlwind of courtship as he tries to break past the steely exterior of the young businessman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fever Pitch

A few men loitered in the dressing room. They fastened cuff links, flattened collars, and straightened suit jackets. An older man in his late 40s came into the room. He glanced around the room then let out a heavy sigh.

“Where is Tetsuya?” He asked, “Has anyone seen Tetsuya?”

Smoke curled upwards, disappearing between the flickering lights of the buildings of downtown Shibuya. The hot spot on the end of the cigarette glowed with the smoker’s deep inhale. They held the smoke in their lungs, the smoke sitting in his throat. The burn of the smoke in his body almost excited him. Almost.

He exhaled, a cloud settling around his head before it dissipated in the night air. The building was cool against the back of his head as he tipped his head back. He couldn’t see the stars. Actually, he wasn’t sure he could remember the last time he had seen the night sky. Maybe middle school, he thought. That brought memories with it he wished he would forget. His lips pulled down and he made a displeased click of his tongue. Just as he was moving the cigarette to his mouth for one last pull, he picked up on the sound of his manager. The cigarette dropped to the ground, crunching under the heel of his shoe.

“Yes, yes,” he grumbled, “Time to flirt, time to work.” He said in a sarcastic sing-song.

 

Kuroo Tetsurou, known as Tetsuya at the club, had been working as a host since he was 18. By the time he was 21 he was the number one host at the most well-known club in Shibuya. Now 24, Kuroo was living the dream. Over the years he had seen people come and go—clients and coworkers alike. But he was still on the scene breaking hearts and making bank. His apartment was in the more flashy district of central Tokyo. It was a high rise apartment that had a huge window overlooking the metropolis. The city lights made it hard to sleep. But Kuroo didn’t do much of that anyway.

Kuroo flashed a falsely warm smile at the woman he had been sitting with. She—Himeko? Haruko?—giggled, cheeks flushed with alcohol and base arousal. She leaned in to wrap her arms around his forearm and press her breasts against him.

“What do you say we get out of here?” She breathed in his ear, lips brushing his earlobe. He suppressed a shudder. Carefully extracting his arm, he placed his hand on her thigh.

“Sorry dear,” he said sweetly, “I’m still on the clock and we’re all out of time.” He patted her thigh before standing and leaving the booth. He easily blocked out her protests. There was an irritation building in his bones and he felt the beginnings of a headache between his eyes. The carton of cigarettes crinkled in his hand. The worker at the door nodded to him as he stepped outside for a smoke.

Turned out his luck was just about gone seeing as he had run out of cigarettes. But he was lucky enough that the convenience store down the street was 24-hours—and had great sandwiches. So he wove his way among the late night patrons to the convenience store. It seemed like that same guy had worked the night shifts since Kuroo had first become a host.

“Mornin’,” he always greeted in his heavy Kansai dialect. Kuroo grabbed a simple ham and cheese sandwich and a beer.

“And a pack of smokes,” Kuroo said, pulling his wallet out. The clerk nodded and went to grab the brand Kuroo smoked. Kuroo placed a ¥1000 note in the tray and opened his beer. He took a long draw, nearly draining half of the beverage.

“Tough night at work?” The clerk asked as he rang up Kuroo’s items.

“Seems like the older they get the more handsy they are.”

The clerk—he never wore a name badge—snorted, “Bold old bags.” Kuroo’s change was returned to him in the tray and he stuffed it back into his wallet. Not wanting to get back to work just yet, he started on his sandwich. His eyes stared uninterestedly out the store’s windows. Drunks, party goers, and hosts working the streets seemed to be all that remained lurking this evening. Boring men and gaudy women. They were all just looking for something to do to pass the time. A man stumbled in front of the shop.

The clerk let out a low whistle, “Crazy bright hair. Ya think it’s natural?”

Kuroo shrugged one shoulder. The man was tall—maybe even taller than Kuroo. His hair was cropped in short, absolutely blonde curls. Kuroo finished his beer as he dissected the man’s attire. The black rectangular glasses made him look smart and he had a good profile. He stopped walking and put his hand against the glass.

“Jus’ washed that!” The clerk groaned. Before Kuroo could console him, the man outside pitched forward and collapsed. Kuroo sprang forward and the sliding doors barely opened fast enough to let him through. The clerk wasn’t too far behind him.

Kuroo knelt down by the man and turned him onto his back. Already he could tell the man was much warmer than he should be. He reached into the pants feeling around for a wallet or ID card. Kuroo found a cell phone and a subway pass. 

“Help me get him inside,” Kuroo instructed. The clerk grumbled momentarily then helped drag the blonde businessman to the back staff room. They propped him in a chair.

“Get him some water—I’ll pay.” He said as he saw the clerk beginning to complain. He grumbled some more, disappearing back to the store. The man groaned which made Kuroo look towards him. Kuroo inhaled sharply. The man’s feverish eyes were a beautiful golden hazel. For a moment, Kuroo was taken to a simpler time of hot summers and warm tea with honey. An elderly woman who loved to tell stories and a shrine falling into disrepair. But just as quickly, he was back crouching on a dirty storeroom floor.

“Where—“ the man mumbled, throat hoarse from fever.

“You passed out. You’ve got a really impressive temperature,” Kuroo explained. The clerk returned with a bottle of water. Kuroo took it with a nod and offered it to the man. He looked as if he hadn’t even heard Kuroo. Those golden eyes sluggishly moved about the room.

“Daiki,” he said, “I have to get back—Daiki is—“ he moved to stand and wobbled with the motion.

“Woah there,” Kuroo caught him, “Hold on. You’re in no shape to be going anywhere right now.”

“Daiki is—Daiki will—“ the man continued to mutter. His breath was hot against Kuroo’s neck and when his forehead drooped to Kuroo’s shoulder, Kuroo was surprised the contact didn’t burn a hole in his shirt.

A frustrated sigh came from Kuroo’s lips, “Does this place sell fever medicine?” He asked the clerk over his shoulder.

“O’course.”

“Get me some of that too.”

“Not yer maid,” the clerk spat under his breath. But he went into the store once more. Kuroo managed to get the man to sit down again. He was still saying strings of sentences that didn’t make one bit of sense. So Kuroo took this moment to go through his things. The man’s name was Tsukishima. But he wasn’t sure how to read the kanji for his first name. The kanji itself was the word for “firefly." Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle. With the man’s blonde hair that acted like a beacon on his head, the name only seemed appropriate.Tsukishima had a few business cards in his wallet as well. Turned out he worked in one of the big office buildings in another of the Shibuya districts. Stuffed shirt, Kuroo thought. 

“Daiki,” Tsukishima said again. 

“Daiki?” Kuroo sighed. He unlocked the phone—an old keyboard phone—and opened the contacts. He was surprised to see a mix of Japanese and English names. Maybe Tsukishima worked with a lot of international partners. There were even some names that Kuroo couldn’t really place. What did Tsukishima do for a living? Kuroo blinked and let the phone lock automatically. He didn’t care about people. So why would he care about this stranger? Why was he even doing so much as he already was?

As Kuroo was thinking that, Tsukishima turned to look at him.

“I need to get home,” he whispered. The golden eyes drew Kuroo in. He thought he might get lost in them. Kuroo stared at Tsukishima. A frustrated sigh blew out his lips and he pushed a hand through his eternally messy hair.

“Is this Daiki’s number in your phone?” He asked. Tsukishima nodded in response. He patted his pants looking for his phone. Kuroo couldn’t help but shake his head.

“I’ve got it right here Tsukki,” Kuroo chuckled. Once more he unlocked the phone. Ignoring the foreign contacts, he looked for the infamous Daiki. When he found it, he realized it was a local number and also that it had been starred as important. A lover maybe? Either way, it didn’t really matter. Kuroo pressed the green call button and held the receiver to his ear. It rang about five times. Just as Kuroo was going to give up on it, the call picked up.

“Dad?” Came the small, worried voice on the other end of the line.

“Dad?” They repeated, “It’s super late—are you still at work? Are you okay? Dad?”

It took Kuroo a second to collect himself. HIs eyes slid to the blonde man being offered water by the store clerk. 

“Hey,” Kuroo began a little hesitantly, “Is this Daiki?”

The voice was even more hurried, “Yes. I’m Tsukishima Daiki. Did something happen to my dad?” 

“Don’t worry—he’s with me. Looks like he’s worked himself a little too hard.”

“Is he gonna be okay?” Daiki asked, his anxiety seeming to lessen just a bit. It looked like Kuroo was right in thinking that the businessman had a tendency to put in a few too many hours. He looked the busy body type. But there was also an underlying air to him that Kuroo hadn’t quite figured out. Not that he had been around the man long enough or had a lucid conversation with him since meeting him. Not that Kuroo particularly cared either.

“He’s gonna be just fine,” Kuroo mumbled distractedly. He chewed absently on a thumbnail—a habit he thought he had kicked quite some time ago.

“Are you helping him Mr—“

“Tetsu. Tetsu is fine.”

“Mr. Tetsu?”

“Yeah?”

There was a pause then a soft exhale that crackled across the line, “Please take care of my dad.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo grinned slightly, “I will. He says don’t forget to brush your teeth. And—“ Kuroo stuttered to a halt. He was trying to give the stereotypical overprotective parent spiel they gave at night. However, he realized he didn’t quite know how that went. It caused a strange tightness to squeeze around his heart and stop his breath. Even the practiced cool that he had when soothsaying clients had disappeared too.

Kuroo cleared his throat, “He says goodnight and—and that he loves you.”

“Thank you Mr. Tetsu,” Daiki whispered, relief present in his tone.

“I’ll have him call you when he’s feeling better,” Kuroo said before ending the call. He let out a groan. Why did he feel like five years had just been taken off his life?

Kuroo slipped Tsukishima’s phone into the inner pocket of his suit jacket. The clerk looked up at him.

“He can’t stay here,” he gruffed out. His calloused thumb jutted out in the direction of Tsukishima. Kuroo ran his hand through his hair—yet another habit he had thought he’d squashed.

“I know that.”

“You also need to pay fer water and meds.”

“I know that too,” Kuroo hissed, trying not to let the frustration show in his voice.

“Throw in some more water bottles, juice, medicine, and two more packs of cigarettes.”

Obviously not entertained anymore, the clerk stalked out of the storeroom. Kuroo flipped the man off when he was gone.

“Okay Tsukki,” Kuroo announced, “Let’s get you out of here.”

“Don’t call me that,” Tsukishima grumbled. It seemed like his fever was at least starting to go down. Kuroo ignored him as he slid an arm around Tsukishima’s back and guided him to his feet. It was a bit wobbly at first and Tsukishima had to lean into Kuroo quite a bit to remain standing. After a second though it seemed like Tsukishima seemed to get his land legs back and only needed to rely on Kuroo to keep him going in the right direction. 

They made their way to the store again. The clerk was standing impatiently behind the counter. He tapped his finger harshly against the countertop.

“How much?” Kuroo asked. 

“¥3758,” he mumbled through the fingers resting against his mouth, chin in his upturned palm and elbow on the counter. Kuroo muttered a few choice words as he dug around in his pockets. He pulled out a crumpled ¥5000 note and dropped it unceremoniously on the counter.

“Keep the change,” he growled. Grabbing the bag, he made his way out the door. It was a bit more difficult than he had thought it would be with Tsukishima acting as nearly dead weight. Unfortunately, it made his exit not as cool as he had hoped it would be. Evident by the sniggering of the clerk behind him. Kuroo just pushed it from his mind as he juggled the bulky bag of convenience store goods and the man becoming heavier with each step.

“Hold on just a little bit longer, Tsukki,” Kuroo ground out between clenched teeth. He should probably work out or something. This shouldn’t have been that hard of a task. They just needed to get a bit further to a main road. That way Kuroo would be able to call for a taxi. 

“Don’t you pass out on me,” Kuroo said, adjusting his hold on the man. His palm was getting slick with sweat and thus losing his grip.

The main road couldn’t have been more of a salvation. Kuroo practically heard angels singing when his eyes fell on the Crossing. Even so late at night, the streets were peppered with glamorous people. Kuroo dropped Tsukishima on one of the benches near the Hachiko statue. The dog chipped out of stone was normally a popular meeting spot for people of all ages. But now, even with the night crawlers, the square just outside the metro station was empty. A few people wandered here and there, but none paid any attention to Kuroo and Tsukishima.

Kuroo allowed himself a moment to get his wits about him. It would be impossible to take a train—getting Tsukishima successfully through a turnstile without a large amount of swearing was just not going to happen. That meant the only other way was to call a taxi. Kuroo hated taxis. Mostly because the drivers generally liked to flirt with him and they could be incredibly expensive—not that Kuroo didn’t have the money to pay for them. But Kuroo also just didn’t like being in confined places, especially when he had little to no control. Although there really wasn’t much wiggle room in the current circumstance. As he pulled out his phone to find the contact he had for a company that had done him well by his standards, he felt a gaze on him. It was unflinching and unnerving, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His thumb hovered over the contact and he looked up. For what he could tell, none of the passerby's were looking. A couple may have glanced at them only to lose interest quickly and continue on their way. Kuroo turned to check and found the owner of the gaze. It was Tsukishima. Even though Kuroo didn’t think the man had broken completely from his illness, his gaze was sharp and calculating. Those golden eyes seemed to sparkle with an intelligence that Kuroo didn’t think he would ever completely grasp.

There was a tense moment between the two of them. For Kuroo, it felt like the air was charged with electricity. What was Tsukishima thinking with such intense eyes? 

“Why are you doing this?” Tsukishima asked after what seemed like hours of their eyes locked together. 

Kuroo returned Tsukishima’s gaze then looked back down at his phone. He pressed call and held the phone to his ear. His motivations weren’t even completely clear to him. For a very, very long time Kuroo had become uninterested in this life. Never did he really have a chosen “path” for himself and his life. There weren’t really any dreams or aspirations that he would work towards. Honestly, it was like he was just going through the motions because he was too much of a coward to end it. But those were thoughts he didn’t particularly like to entertain. 

When Kuroo came back to himself, Tsukishima was still watching him. Kuroo took a moment to let his eyes wander over the disgruntled blonde hair, the sheen layer of sweat on his skin, and the gentle curve of the bow of his lips. Kuroo pulled a cigarette from the new carton and placed it in his mouth. He lit it and paused for another second.

“Who knows,” he mumbled around the cigarette. The smoke curled up and into the night air, disappearing between the stars and among the sounds of the city around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I hesitated to post this. I was originally going to use it as a starting point for a novel. But now I have a different muse for that work and I wanted to share this with you all! Plus, I've been needing to be creative. This is very much so a work in progress and I'm afraid I can't promise regular updates. I will try my best however. Especially if people want to see more of it. Let me know what you think! Feel free to leave a comment below! :-)


	2. Skin like Fire

Kuroo would always hate cabs. The cab driver who had picked them up was a greasy man that looked like he hadn’t showered in days. The interior of the taxi smelled like stale sweat and cheap cigarette smoke. Kuroo was almost certain that the scent would stick to his clothes. It would take at least two separate visits to the dry cleaners to get rid of it. Although that wasn’t even the worse part. The only thing that could have made the situation better would have been if the driver was mute. He wasn’t—not in the least.

“Late night partying?” The driver chuckled as Kuroo maneuvered Tsukishima into the cramped back seat. Kuroo couldn’t help the sneer that crossed his lips. He didn’t decide to give the driver a response. Finally getting Tsukishima in a position that he could be buckled in took quite a bit of effort. Kuroo had to scoot him over, then sit him up, and then reach across him to get the seatbelt fastened. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Tsukishima wasn’t on the verge of passing out.

“If he throws up,” the driver motioned with a jerk of his head at Tsukishima, “You gotta clean it.”

“I’ll buy you a new cab. Now drive.” Kuroo growled. This seemed to harsh whatever vibe the cabbie was attempting to create. He huffed in a slightly irritated manner and turned his blinker on to enter traffic. 

There wasn’t any music playing from the radio so Kuroo was left with only the clattering sound the suspension made as it went over the road. The lights flickered in and out of the cab as they passed under streetlights on the expressway. Kuroo began to feel exhaustion settling into his bones. His eyelids were becoming heavy and soon they closed. His head fell back against the seat as the lull of wheels on pavement put him to sleep.

“Hey, mister, ride’s over,” the cabbie gruffed angrily. Kuroo groaned and blinked open his eyes. He was warm and comfortable. What kind of asshole was waking him up? He went to rub his eyes but found his arm trapped. He looked over to see Tsukishima resting his head on Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Oh fuck,” Kuroo grumbled. The situation came back to him all at once. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he paid the cabbie. 

“Tsukki, hey, get up,” He prompted, nudging the businessman. His golden eyes opened slowly, heavily lidded. A yawn stretched his lips and he sat up.

“Where am I?” 

“A place with a bed, now c’mon.”

Tsukishima followed Kuroo out of the cab. As soon as they were out of the vehicle, the door closed and it hurried off. Kuroo was more than happy to be rid of the cab and its driver. As he was walking towards the door of his apartment building, Tsukishima followed him. It was like a duckling following behind its mother. Kuroo chuckled to himself at the thought. He supposed at least it would be easy to get him up to his room. The doorman bowed his head towards Kuroo as he entered.

“You’re home early tonight, Tetsu. I can see why,” he chuckled. Kuroo simply winked at the man and passed him a bill. 

“You know the drill.”

“Of course. Have a good night, sir.” The doorman bowed again, pocketing the bill discreetly. Kuroo grabbed the cuff of Tsukishima’s sleeve to pull him closer. It would be just his luck to lose the man in the apartment building. 

They made it to the elevator without incident. Kuroo didn’t see many people usually when he was coming back from work. The doorman was just about the only person he talked to at the end of a shift. A small ding signaled the elevator’s arrival. Kuroo pulled Tsukishima into the elevator and pressed the button for top floor. Top 40 hits were playing in the elevator and Kuroo was humming along to the tune.

“You’ve got a good voice,” Tsukishima said. Kuroo blinked and looked over at him. Tsukishima was leaning against the wall, head tilted back and eyes closed. A small smirk pulled at the corner of Kuroo’s lips. 

“Want me to sing you a lullaby?” He joked. 

Tsukishima hummed, “Wouldn’t be bad.”

Kuroo tried to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. He let a snicker pass his lips and focused his eyes on the rising numbers of the elevator’s display.

“Let’s do karaoke sometime, Tsukki,” he mumbled. Tsukishima hummed once more. Kuroo wondered if he was even having the same conversation with the man. Who knows what kind of words were going in and out of his fever addled brain? 

Finally the doors opened on Kuroo’s floor. He pulled Tsukishima out of the elevator with one hand and fished around in his suit pocket. An empty cigarette carton fell from the pocket when he pulled a keycard from the pocket. Kuroo grumbled and kicked the carton towards the trashcan next to the elevator. After tapping the card against the reader, a harsh clunk of the bolts on the door sliding back sounded.

The two managed to get inside, each toeing off their shoes. Tsukishima mumbled a small “excuse me” before entering. Even when sick the man still upheld formalities. What an old fashioned guy, Kuroo thought with an eye roll. It was a short walk to the bedroom despite the size of the apartment. Kuroo guided Tsukishima inside and got him to sit.

“I’m gonna get you some water to take medicine, wait just a second,” Kuroo said as he exited the room. It wasn’t three minutes later when he was back with a glass of water and a pill. But Tsukishima had passed out on the bed. He was on his side, curled around a pillow he had pulled to his chest. Kuroo stood in the doorway for a second before sighing. He moved into the room and put the glass and pill on the bedside table. 

“Your clothes are gonna get wrinkled.” There was no response from the man sleeping on the bed. Kuroo let out another sigh and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached into the bedside table and grabbed a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag. He didn’t care enough to turn the fan on. He was exhausted and felt like he was spiraling further into madness. What was he even doing? Well, he was already in pretty deep, nothing to stop him now. He finished the cigarette and stubbed it out in a full ashtray.

“All right, let’s get some of this hung up.”

Kuroo turned Tsukishima onto his back. He easily slid the suit jacket from Tsukishima’s shoulders. Only for a moment he paused over the buttons of Tsukishima’s shirt. But Kuroo shook himself and then deftly undid the shirt. As it fell open across Tsukishima’s chest, his eyes opened slightly. He ran his hand up over his stomach and chest before resting on his forehead. His cheeks were flushed with heat and eyes swam with fever. It was like looking at the sun personified. Kuroo swallowed hard, trying to get around the lump suddenly stuck in his throat.

“What are you doing?” Tsukishima asked. Kuroo, feeling mischievous, leaned over Tsukishima. He caged Tsukishima’s face with his hands, lowering his head so they were mere centimeters apart.

“What do you think?” He purred. He couldn’t decipher the look in Tsukishima’s eyes and decided teasing a sick man was no kind of fun. Just as he was starting to pull away, Tsukishima reached up and framed Kuroo’s face with his palms. Stunned, Kuroo didn’t know what to do. He stalled, his mind trying to produce words. He should keep moving, he should hang Tsukishima’s shirt so it doesn’t wrinkle, he should— He surged forward and pressed his lips to Tsukishima’s awaiting mouth.

Tsukishima tasted strangely like honey. His mouth was warm and inviting and reminded Kuroo of summer. Not to mention he was a pretty good kisser too. Tsukishima moved his hands from Kuroo’s face down to rest on his hips. They were warm and heavy, a presence that Kuroo didn’t mind in the least. Kuroo moved from Tsukishima’s lips to bit down his jaw and neck. He bit hard enough to make the skin red, but not enough to bruise. Feeling heat spread across his skin, Kuroo stopped. What was he doing? Tsukishima was in no mental state to be condoning these actions. Kuroo exhaled harshly, his warm breath scattering across Tsukishima’s enflamed skin.

“Hey Tsukki,” Kuroo said, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” He tilted his head up and blinked. Tsukishima had fallen asleep. Kuroo sat up, his shadow falling across the sleeping man. Kuroo sighed but shook his head. 

“God damn. I’ll have what he’s having,” he said to himself. Kuroo clambered off Tsukishima pushing the man over so he could retrieve his clothes. Kuroo even pulled the glasses from his face. Tsukishima barely stirred. Kuroo walked to his closet and pulled out a hanger. He put the shirt and suit jacket up and hung them off the closet door. At least now no one could say he was a bad host. The thought made him snicker. He took off his own clothes, putting them away properly. Then he washed his face, had one last cigarette, brushed his teeth, turned off the light, then crawled into bed next to Tsukishima. In the middle of the night when Tsukishima rolled over and put his head on Kuroo’s chest, Kuroo would deny ever sliding his arm underneath as a pillow for Tsukishima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday updates! Woohoo! Thanks for your love and support so far! Please continue to enjoy the series!


	3. Muddled Heat

Midmorning sunlight streamed into the room unabashedly. The ceiling to floor windows didn’t allow any darkness in the room. Tsukishima blinked his eyes open, squinting into the harsh light. He groaned as a headache throbbed at his temples. He also felt incredibly sweaty and terribly thirsty. Standing, Tsukishima was shaky as he moved towards the bathroom. When he opened the door to the bathroom he was met with a bunch of expensive looking dress shirts and suit jackets. He looked down at the array of well polished, shining shoes lined along the floor. This was a closet and not the bathroom. More importantly it was a closet full of clothes that were definitely not his. There was the sound of rustling sheets and Tsukishima turned to look at the bed he had just come from. A man peeked up from where his head had been shoved between two pillows. He laid on his stomach, legs squared in a strange position. His black hair was messy and his eyes were still covered with sleep.

“Bathroom,” he mumbled, a deep voice thick with drowsiness, “Left door, Tsukki.”

Tsukishima stared at him for a moment. But the man just pushed his face between the two pillows and went back to sleep. His dark hair stuck out in every way, a sharp contrast to the white of the pillowcases. Mechanically, Tsukishima closed the closet door and made his way to the bathroom. When he closed the door behind him, he gripped the counter tightly and leaned on it heavily. He scrambled to try and put together the events of last night. Leaving the office for the train station was the last thing he could remember. He knew that he hadn’t been feeling well the past week but it couldn’t be anything too serious. But now he couldn’t put together the blurry images that were his memories.

The water from the faucet was cool and soothed his throat. Tsukishima splashed his face and dried it with a nearby towel. The facts he knew were 1) he was not in his own house, 2) he had been in a bed with another man, 3) he had no shirt, but his pants were still on, and 4) Daiki was home alone. A sense of dread swept over him, causing a fresh wave of cold sweat to cover his body. He swallowed hard and exited the bathroom. 

For a minute he was blinded once more by the undeterred sunlight. Tsukishima briefly entertained the thought of how high the room must be to get so much sunlight without the buildings getting in the way. He checked the pockets of his suit jacket, hung so carefully on the closet door. His phone wasn’t there. A spark of panic swelled in his chest. Tsukishima quickly stomped it down. Becoming flustered would not help the situation. While it was true his phone was important to his work, at the time he couldn’t be bothered to think about that. His mind was focused only on Daiki. Tsukishima’s eyes flickered around the room. They landed on an ash tray on a bedside table. Haphazardly discarded behind the ashtray was his phone. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that pushed past his lips. 

Tsukishima’s knees didn't feel as steady as they should have as he walked over to the table. The plastic of his phone was cold in his palm but the weight of it comforting. He unlocked the phone, glancing briefly at the twenty percent battery life. Tsukishima was hoping to be back at his home and his charger before the phone would even come close to dying. His finger pressed and held the button to speed dial the home phone. The ringing in his ear sounded tiny and far away. He couldn’t remember how many times it would ring until going to the answering machine. It felt like the phone had rang at least ten times before it was cut off.

“Hello, hello. Tsukishima residence,” came the small voice on the other end of the line.

“Daiki,” Tsukishima exhaled. He took a deep breath through his nose and ran a hand over his hair. 

“Dad! How are you feeling? Did you get plenty of rest?” Daiki asked. 

“Yes, I’m better now. I’m sorry I made you worry. Why aren’t you at school Daiki?”

Daiki laughed, “It’s Saturday.”

“It’s—“ Tsukishima sighed dryly, “Right of course. Have you already eaten?” 

“Even I can handle miso soup by myself, dad.”

“Okay. I’ll be home soon. I just need to—“

“Dad?”

Tsukishima paused, “Yes?”

“Don’t worry about me today. Just have fun with your friend,” Daiki said.

“Friend?”

“Mr. Tetsu. Aren’t you with him?”

“Oh, him,” Tsukishima slid his eyes to the still form on the bed.

“You haven’t ever talked about anyone from work. I was surprised when he suddenly called me. Oh yeah! Is it okay if I go over to Yuta’s place today?”

“Have you done your homework?”

“Yup!” Daiki chirped, “I finished it all last night.”

“Yes you can go. Just be sure to have Yuta’s mother call me once you get there.”

“Okay! Thanks dad! Love you!”

“Love you too,” Tsukishima said, his lips curling into a soft smile. He ended the call and felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest.

“I thought you would be more strict,” rumbled the man on the bed. Tsukishima startled slightly and quickly turned. Light brown eyes that looked like melted caramel looked up at Tsukishima. Tsukishima held the gaze for a moment before he felt his features fall. The wall that he put up for those around him came back up. Kuroo saw it in the golden depths, the glittering honey suddenly hardened like cold amber. 

Tsukishima stood from the bed and moved to where his shirt was hanging. Silently he dressed himself. It was methodical and Kuroo found he couldn’t keep himself from watching. Buttoning a shirt up was such a mundane activity and yet Tsukishima managed to make it seem artistic. The way his fingers flickered over the buttons, effortlessly pushing them into the shirt was like a performance that Kuroo wanted nothing more than to see. 

Tsukishima turned his back to him as he shrugged his jacket on. He adjusted the sleeves and pulled at the cuffs to straighten them. After donning the jacket, he slid the phone into the inner pocket and looked back at Kuroo. Kuroo blinked, having sat up in bed. The sheets pooled around his waist and exposed his chest. Tsukishima held Kuroo’s gaze, although Kuroo didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered down in the briefest of movements. Tsukishima cleared his throat and then bowed.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay here last night. I am indebted to you.” His voice was formal and cold. Kuroo felt irritated at that. He clenched his teeth together and his jaw tensed. 

“So you don’t remember huh?” Kuroo asked, pushing his hand through his hair to straighten it some. Tsukishima visibly tensed. He stood from his bow and fixed Kuroo with an unflinching stare. Kuroo smirked, the corner of his mouth raising into the signature facial expression. 

Tsukishima turned his head slightly to the side, his eyes casting downward. 

“I am sorry if I have imposed any inconvenience upon you,” he ground out. It was obvious that this interaction was having quite the effect on Tsukishima. That just made Kuroo want to bully him even more. 

Kuroo swung his legs out from under the blankets. Standing from the bed, he pushed his arms into the air. Once more Tsukishima’s gaze travelled across his form fleetingly. Kuroo moved easily to where Tsukishima had dressed himself. It was like a panther prowling across the room. Something about it made Tsukishima nervous.

Tsukishima coughed to clear his throat, “Allow me to repay you for your kindness.”

“Dinner then,” Kuroo supplied, “Let me take you to dinner.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one to—“ 

Tsukishima was cut off as Kuroo placed his palm on the wall next to Tsukishima’s head. The two were eye to eye, but Tsukishima was just a couple centimeters taller. Another twinge of irritation began in Kuroo at the thought of being shorter. 

“Letting me take you to dinner is more than enough. Especially for all you’ve already done,” he purred. 

Tsukishima ground his teeth for a moment, annoyance and uncertainty pooling in his gut. He pulled his composure back in and steadied himself. 

“How shall I contact you?” He asked.

Kuroo’s grin widened. He straightened and scratched his stomach with his hand.

“Friday night come to Club Shion in Shibuya. Since it’s the weekend, your precious Daiki-kun can stay at a friend’s house.” His tone was mocking.

Tsukishima adjusted his glasses, pushing them further up the bridge of his nose. The glare from the windows reflected in them. 

“I’ll see if I can get something arranged.”

“I look forward to it,” Kuroo murmured. Tsukishima moved away from Kuroo and towards the entry way. He paused momentarily. 

“Let me show you out.” Kuroo walked out of the bedroom.

The bedroom connected to a sparsely decorated, yet spacious living room. There were a few pieces of black leather furniture that included a couch, armchair, and a glass coffee table. A couple framed photos hung on the wall. The coloration was modern and sleek with pops of red and silver among the black decor. Even more windows opened up to look over the Tokyo skyline. Tsukishima could see hints of the Imperial Palace grounds through the buildings. He cast a suspicious look at the man who was leading him to the door. Just who was he? 

They reached the front door. It was at the end of a short hallway just outside the kitchen. 

“Here we are,” Kuroo said. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes scanned Tsukishima for a second. There was a mischievous light to those brown eyes and Tsukishima wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Apprehension mixed with something more exciting in his blood. He corrected his posture to give a proper bow.

“Sorry for all the trouble, Mr. Tetsu.” 

Kuroo’s eyebrow rose at the name, “Just Tetsu is fine. Now, Nijubashi station is just down the block. Try not to get lost yeah?” He teased.

Tsukishima gave him a noncommittal nod. Kuroo opened the door and Tsukishima put his shoes on before leaving. He bowed once more before turning and heading to the elevator. Kuroo stood in his doorway. The elevator opened and Tsukishima stepped inside. He hit the button for the ground floor. His eyes looked up and met Kuroo’s gaze. 

“Don’t try to skip out on me Friday, Tsukki,” Kuroo said. The doors closed on Tsukishima’s complaints of the endearment. Kuroo grinned to himself and went back into his apartment. He could use a hot shower to help him figure out just what he was going to do on Friday.


	4. Tepid Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating has changed due to content in this chapter. It's more than likely the rating will go up one more notch at some point in the story. So keep an eye out for that if it's not what you're looking for!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!

The train clattered noisily as it rolled down the tracks. Tsukishima stared out the window at the walls of the underground that passed by. He barely took notice of the other passengers. Generally thoughts of his son would be in his mind, but at the moment images of the mysterious “Tetsu” cluttered up the space. Tsukishima couldn’t help the way his mind’s eye recreated the strong planes of Tetsu’s face. Or the way that he flickered across the lithe upper body with toned muscles. Or the eyes that sparkled with some sort of inside joke. Or the hair like rich obsidian that looked as if fingers could tangle in it so easily. Or the skin—

Tsukishima cleared his throat loudly. The sudden sound startled the older woman sitting next to him. She gave him a nasty side eye and scooted minutely away from him. He didn’t pay much attention to her. Shakily he adjusted his glasses and exhaled slowly through his mouth. For as often as he was telling himself to forget the man, Tetsu always seemed to crawl right back into his thoughts. Tsukishima sighed, earning him another strange look from the woman who once more moved away from him. He rummaged around in the pockets of his suit jacket.

Luckily enough for him, his emergency pair of headphones were right where they should be. They were a bit tangled from being folded hurriedly and gave him something to concentrate on as he unknotted them. Finally he was able to put them in his ears and plugged them into his phone. The phone glared at him with a red twelve percent battery life. He quickly checked the upcoming station on the map above the door across from him. It was still about five stops before he would need to switch lines. His battery would make it. So he pulled up his music and pressed play. The sound quality wasn’t as good as his over-the-ear headphones, but it worked in a pinch. Tsukishima closed his eyes and rested his head against the vibrating glass. Soon enough he was able to lose himself to the music and push all other thoughts from his mind. Well, all except the piercing eyes that seemed to stare at him from behind his lids.

Tsukishima exited the stairwell of his apartment building. He walked down the hallway a little ways to apartment 207. The door unlocked quietly, but the old key stuck in the lock. Tsukishima muttered under his breath as he jiggled the key out of the door. When it finally pulled free, he gave it a disdainful look. There were quite a few things in the ten year old apartment that needed a little updating, but Tsukishima couldn’t complain. For being in the Tokyo area, the rent was pretty cheap and since it was so old there were no maintenance fees. The apartment was a 2LDK build with a spacious floor design. He slid his shoes into the shoe cubby by the door. Water from the sink in the kitchen off the entrance was clear and cool as he got a drink.

Being empty, the apartment was silent save for the muffled sound of people outside. Tsukishima walked through the living room with a small couch and television. He pushed open the sliding glass door that led to the small patio. Just over the buildings, the top of the pagoda in the Sensō-ji temple could be seen. Tsukishima leaned on the railing and stared out at the small residential area. Below him people walked down the street towards or away from the Asakusa station. A few children tossed a ball about, a couple walked hand in hand, and a few older women in simple yukatas wondered past. His own mind began to travel back to a pair of slender hands when the phone in the hallway began to ring.

“Coming,” he called as he entered the room. Hastily he closed the door behind him and moved with muffled steps to the phone. 

“Hello, hello. Tsukishima,” he answered.

“Kei,” said the female voice on the other line, “I wasn’t expecting you to answer. Your cell phone went to voicemail so I decided to just leave a message on your home phone.”

“Rika,” Tsukishima pulled his phone from his pocket to find it dead. He let out a small sigh, “My apologies. I seem to have forgotten to charge it last evening.”

“Well it’s no matter,” she laughed, “Daiki-kun got here a few minutes ago. Yuta was very excited to have him over.”

“You have him over a lot. I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble at all! Daiki-kun is practically like a third son to me. We all love having him over.”

“Is that so,” Tsukishima mumbled.

“I know it’s hard Kei,” Rika said in a more somber tone, “I’ve known you since primary school. I can see just how much you’re working to provide for Daiki-kun. But I worry that maybe you’re overworking yourself a bit.”

“Rika—“

“Don’t tell me I’m preaching. My husband tells me that enough already. I just care about you is all. You’re also like family to me, Kei.”

Tsukishima rubbed at his temples. A headache was forming, but he couldn’t stop the small smile that pulled at his lips.

“You’re a good woman.”

“Like that means anything coming from you!” She laughed again, the sound warm and comforting. There were voices in the background.

“Wait just a minute, let me ask,” she said to the other voices, “Hey Kei, is it alright if Daiki-kun stays the night?”

“Tonight?”

“The boys seem to be quite insistent on it. I’m not sure they’ll take no for an answer.”

He thought for a moment, “I suppose it’s all right. He’s already gotten all his homework done.”

“Eh? Really? Hold on. Yuta, Daiki-kun can stay but only if you do your homework right now. Now, I don’t care if Daiki-kun _helps_ you with it. But don’t spoil him and do it for him, Daiki-kun. Okay? Yes, yes, yes. Go on now. I’ll get some snacks and juice and bring it up.”

“Sorry for the trouble,” Tsukishima mumbled into the receiver.

“Kei, I already told you it’s no trouble at all. They’re good together. Daiki-kun is good with his studies, and he could use some good solid friends. They remind me of us when we were kids.”

Tsukishima groaned, “Please do not take me down memory lane right now.”

“Sorry sorry,” she chuckled, “Then shall we talk of the present? Why don’t you and Daiki come over for dinner this week? It’ll be like a nice little party!”

“Ah, it depends on work.”

Rika made a discontented sound, “Kei take the evening off! I’ll make your favorite.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you see me as another son too.”

“It’s settled then. Plus you can bring that coworker of yours along.”

“What?” He inhaled sharply, choking on his spit for a second, “Coworker?”

“Daiki-kun told me all about where you were last night. I bet she’s a real beauty. See you Wednesday!” 

“Rika, hey, wait! It’s not—“ He was cut off as the call was ended. He stared at the phone in his hand before putting it back on the dock. The headache was now throbbing just behind his eyes. He removed his glasses and moved into the kitchen. Making some tea would help calm his nerves and hopefully help with the headache as well. The electric kettle quickly heated the water and he took his tea into the living room. 

Along with the couch and television, there was a small work desk on the wall connected to the bedroom. His laptop sat on the desk. When he plugged his phone into the charger it blinked at him to remind him just how out of battery it was. The laptop powered on quickly and he entered his password. It only took a few clicks to get into the file he was working on in the office. There were just a few things he still had to fix before it could get submitted to the sales department. He typed up a few notes, cross-referenced a few numbers, then polished up the file. 

Tsukishima went into his personal email first. There were a few spam messages, a message from Daiki’s school regarding Parent’s Day and the upcoming Culture Festival, and an email from his lawyer. He didn’t open that email and switched over to his work email. The file zipped up and was sent off in a precisely worded email to the sales department. It would be in their inbox first thing Monday morning. After he typed up the email and sent it off, he took a sip of his tea. The warmth was nice for his throat which still felt slightly scratchy. There were a few more files he could open and start to work on. But he knew that none of his coworkers would check their emails over the weekend to see what kind of work he had done. Not to mention his international clients were also on weekends. 

He closed his laptop once more. Taking the cup of tea with him, he moved into the restroom. Even in such a small apartment, there was a separate bath and shower. It was hard to find a cheap apartment that had both a shower and a bathtub in the area. Really this place had been the ultimate lucky find. He owed Rika for that one since it was her classmate that had been his real estate agent. 

The water swirled in the tub until Tsukishima put the plug in. Steam started to rise from it as it filled the bath. He moved to a small cabinet over the sink and pulled out a small box. A light green powder that looked a bit like old-fashioned tea sat in the tin container. He sprinkled about a tablespoon into the warm water. The bath quickly took on the color and a herbal scent filled the room. With the tub full, he turned off the tap and exited to take off his clothes. 

As he took his clothes off, Tsukishima decided that he should do laundry today. He hadn’t been able to for a couple days. He figured Daiki’s uniform could definitely use a cleaning and not to mention he had neglected his own wardrobe for quite some time. Especially if the growing pile of clothes overflowing from the clothing hamper was any indication. He gathered an armful of them and put them into the washing machine. The cycle started with the machine humming and clanking with the effort of it. 

Tsukishima finished his now tepid tea and made his way back into the bathroom. He closed the door quietly. The room was filled with steam and the mirror was fogged over. The towel he had wrapped around his waist hung on the hook to the side of the door. One of the things that Tsukishima had spent some money on renovations was the sound system in the house. It was multifunctional in that it worked as a sound system, a PA system, and a home entertainment system. He messed with the panel on the wall and hooked into his music files. A few seconds later and music gently came out of the speakers in the ceiling. 

He scrubbed the grime and dried sweat from his body, letting the warm water stream down his muscles. It felt like he hadn’t been able to relax in the longest of times. Rika was right when she said he was overworking himself. Him passing out last night was the exact result of that. A flush came to his cheeks at the thought and it wasn’t because of the warm water. He tried to get his mind back to the present but it kept sliding right back to Tetsu. 

Tsukishima felt the heat spread over his skin. He tried turning the water a little colder but even that did little to lessen the desire pooling in his stomach. His hand moved from his knee inward. A small gasp escaped his lips as his palm made contact with enflamed skin. He told himself that it was only natural. That it had been a long time since he had gotten any alone time. With Daiki in the house and in a room just off of his own, there was no private time for either of them really. Tsukishima didn’t have time for interpersonal relationships. It had just built up, that was all. 

The tile was cool against his forehead as he leaned forward. A stuttering moan mingled with the sounds of water dripping against the flooring. His movements became desperate and jerky as he neared his finish. It was natural, he told himself again. It was because he didn’t have time. It wasn’t because he was thinking of slightly chapped lips. It wasn’t because the idea of slender fingers exploring his body made him feel on fire. It wasn’t because he could hear the low, filthy voice in his ear telling him to just go ahead and co—

“Tetsu—“ Tsukishima whispered as his toes curled and pleasure shot through his body. His breaths mingled with the steam from the tub. He blinked, looking down at his hand. The evidence of his action was quickly swirling down the drain as if it had never happened. But it had indeed happened and Tsukishima was definitely in much deeper than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki you dirty birdy. 
> 
> Here's your Tuesday update! As promised! You might say that things are getting pretty steamy now. Heehee...
> 
> (I will not apologize for that)


	5. Combustible Heart

Kuroo ruffled his hair with a towel. Droplets of water dripped from the ends of his hair to leave a trail on the tiled floor. Footprints appeared behind him as he moved into the bedroom. He finished drying himself off, hanging the towel on the door. The closet door easily slid open and Kuroo looked inside. His eyes slid past the pressed, designer name suit jackets and flashy silk dress shirts. The fabric of the black sweatpants made a synthetic sound as it slipped against itself. He pulled a pair of boxers out of a drawer and also a pair of black and red socks. A white t-shirt and an old jacket from high school also joined his pile of clothes.

The pair of worn, black sneakers were beginning to pull at the seams. Kuroo carefully tied the laces, pulling tight on the knot. He tossed his keys and a couple 500¥ coins in his pocket. No one was in the elevator as he went down to the ground floor. The lobby of the apartment building was also fairly empty. The receptionist gave him a quick greeting as he passed through. He gave her a smirk and a wave which caused a bright red blush to spread all the way to her ears. The daytime doorman allowed a small bow when Kuroo went out the door.

Even though it was well past noon, the day was still chilly. Winter was rapidly approaching in what seemed like the shortest autumn ever. Kuroo pushed his hands over his head and stretched out his back. He also warmed up his legs by stretching the muscles a bit. The lingering stares of those passing by didn’t go unnoticed. But Kuroo wasn’t interested. 

Feeling the cool air in his lungs was invigorating. He hadn’t gone on a run for a few days and he hadn’t realized how much he missed it. While his health and fitness were important to his job, he also just enjoyed exercising. It was a habit he’d picked up in high school with sports and kept. It allowed him to not think about the world for a while. So as his feet thudded against the pavement in a steady rhythm he let his mind wander. Not surprisingly, he found his thoughts slowly moving towards a certain blonde. People whispered about the man jogging with a stupid grin on his face, but Kuroo didn’t notice.

Kuroo’s breath fogged in the cool night air. It mingled and swirled with the cigarette smoke that he exhaled. His fingers were also chilling but it wasn’t cold enough to make them numb. So he endured it in order to get a few more drags from his cigarette. Work so far was slow that evening. There were a couple frequent customers that had come in. For the most part though he wasn’t being requested often. He wasn't worried about his rank though since his return customers always enjoyed themselves. “Enjoying themselves” generally meant bottle after bottle of Dom. Not to mention the gifts that they brought. Kuroo could never accept any of them, so as not to show any favoritism, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want them. If he could get Rolexes or jeweled cuff links for free, why wouldn’t he? Those were his two rules however: never accept gifts, and never sleep with a customer. He’d made the mistake of mixing business with pleasure before and it hadn’t ended well. His face hardened at the thought and he stubbed the cigarette out on the ground perhaps more viciously than necessary.

Kuroo Tetsurou was a first year in high school when he first slept with someone. He had been 16 and she was 18. She was his senpai in the volleyball club. They had gone to a cheap love hotel after practice and done it there. As far as Kuroo was concerned the sex was good. It was much better than doing it himself at least. They did it a few more times before she graduated, but eventually she let him know that she had just been playing around with him. Something about getting back at her boyfriend for cheating on her. Petty and uninteresting, Kuroo had thought. So she left and he didn’t chase after her. He’d never been invested in the relationship anyway. It was just no-strings-attached sex between two people.

As Kuroo grew older, he started to grow into his lanky limbs. Volleyball forced him to discipline his body and he became very attractive. Girls would describe him as “roguish” and “dangerous.” Flirting with him was like flirting with disaster and it was thrilling. Then rumors started that he would sleep with anyone who asked. He wasn’t sure how that started, but he did sleep with those who approached him. It didn't matter to him either way. He became known as the man who would sleep with anyone, but would never chase those who left. He was the aloof altruistic lover, Kuroo Tetsurou. 

When Kuroo was 17 he spent his summer in the countryside. His grandmother had fallen ill and his parents wanted to look after her. So they went to her for the summer. It was a small town with more farm animals than people. In the mornings, Kuroo would go running along the rice paddies. The rising sun would reflect across the water, setting fire to the land in oranges and reds with blazing whites. Kuroo stopped one morning at a cliff that looked over the town. It was just on the outskirts a little past the farm land. He glanced over at everything and thought that it was just so boring. A voice in his head whispered _break it_. So Kuroo took a breath so deep it burned his lungs before letting out a yell. He yelled until the air ran out and he was panting. Soon even the echoes of his shout had faded and he was left with the infuriatingly quiet visage before him. 

“That was quite the shout,” came a voice from behind him. Kuroo swirled to face the person. The sun blinded him for a second and he had to shield his eyes. As he blinked away the spots on his vision he could make out the person who had called out to him. 

It was a boy, not much older than him. He might have been 19. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a loose-fitting hoodie. He had light brown hair that moved lazily in the morning breeze. He pushed his hands into his pocket and gave Kuroo a disarming smile. 

“Haven’t seen you around here before.” His words rumbled with a distinct Osaka-ben. 

“Just visiting,” Kuroo replied, suddenly feeling how crisp the Japanese that fell from his mouth was. 

The boy whistled, “Nice voice you got there. Tokyo, huh?”

Kuroo felt an embarrassed flush heat on his cheeks. 

“Nothing wrong with it!” The boy laughed, “Sorry sorry. I’m Ryusei—Ryu is fine though.”

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo said with a small bow.

“Nice ta meet ya, Tetsu-san,” Ryusei smiled again, his eyes sparkling in as the sun rose behind him, “Say you hungry? There’s a little place in town that has the _best_ pastries.”

Kuroo blinked, “I don’t have any money.”

Ryusei shrugged, “My treat. C’mon, I’m starved.”

Then Ryusei turned and started to head down the path of the cliff. Kuroo took a hesitant step forward. He shook himself out and clenched his hands into fists before following after Ryusei. Kuroo Tetsurou was 17 when he fell in love at first sight, even though he didn’t know it at the time.

During the summer, Kuroo saw a lot of Ryusei. Ryusei was a local boy who worked in his parent’s shop. He had attended school in the next town over and wasn’t going on to college. 

“I’m not the book type, never have been,” Ryusei had said once, “Much better with my hands, y’know?” His wink had made Kuroo smile and laugh. They ran in the mornings, sometimes Kuroo would help out in the shop during the day, and they almost always were together at night. 

In the middle of the summer, there was a festival being held. Ryusei had invited Kuroo out, saying it was one of the biggest events of the year. Everyone in town came together and put it on. There were food stalls, games, and places to buy all sorts of things. At midnight there were dances and a pyre was set aflame as appeasement for the gods in order to have a good crop. Ryusei had managed to sneak out some of his parent’s sake and the two enjoyed it by the fireside. 

Stumbling and laughing, they moved to a grassy hillside. They began to wrestle before tumbling to the ground. Their limbs were tangled together and their breaths mingled as they laughed.

“You’re gonna love the fireworks,” Ryusei said, maybe a little too loudly, “They’re so so _so_ big!”

“Can we see them from here?” Kuroo asked, turning his head to look at Ryusei.

“‘Course ya can! This is the best spot in town to see them!” Ryusei pushed himself up on his side and turned to Kuroo. Ryusei looked down at Kuroo for a long time before Kuroo had to look away.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful, ya know?” Ryusei slurred.

Kuroo’s face turned bright red, although unnoticeable in the darkness. “What the fuck? I don’t want to hear that as a guy.”

“It’s true though. I’ve been thinkin’ about it since you tried to wake everyone up with your yelling.”

“I thought we promised not to talk about that!” Kuroo sat up to face Ryusei.

“It was amazing—you standing there shouting like you wanted the world to split in two from the sound. Really, really amazing.” Ryusei whispered. Then he was leaning forward and Kuroo felt their lips meet. Ryusei’s lips were cracked and scratched against Kuroo’s softer ones. They were thin and parted easily as Ryusei pushed his hands into Kuroo’s hair. He tasted like alcohol and a bit of sweet from the dango they’d shared. The ground was cool against Kuroo’s back as he found himself pushed down. He thought his heart was going jump straight up his throat. The two broke apart and gasped for air. Ryusei’s eyes were unfocused as he looked down at Kuroo. Kuroo swallowed hard before reaching out. His hands shook when he wrapped his arms around Ryusei’s neck.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered, voice sticking in his throat. Ryusei smiled that charming smile at Kuroo before lowering his lips to the exposed skin of Kuroo’s throat. It was under the lights of the fireworks that Kuroo slept with someone he loved for the first time. His body shook with the reverberating boom of the fireworks and hurried thrusts that hurt more than they pleased. His lips swelled and his heart overflowed as he was taken by Ryusei that night. 

For the rest of the summer, Kuroo and Ryusei saw less and less of each other. Ryusei stopped showing up to run in the morning. He was always busy when Kuroo came by the shop to visit. Yet Ryusei always found time at least a few times a week to meet Kuroo at night. They would embrace in the darkest hours, Ryusei pulling his pleasure from Kuroo. One week before Kuroo was supposed to go back to Tokyo, they made love once more. Kuroo, hazy from his orgasm, smiled at Ryusei. 

“I love you,” he whispered. Ryusei stared at Kuroo for a moment before getting out of bed. His back seemed foreign as he turned from Kuroo.

“I think we should stop playing around, don’t you think?” He said, lighting a cigarette. The click of the lighter’s flame was the only sound in the room. The gentle crack in Kuroo’s heart wasn’t heard. 

Kuroo waved to his coworkers as they got into taxis or headed towards the metro station. He let out a heavy sigh and pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket. He had never noticed that it was the same brand Ryusei had smoked. Or maybe he had somewhere deep inside. Either way, that was the past and there was nothing he could do about it. Kuroo lit the cigarette, placing it in his mouth without taking a puff. He pulled his coat tighter around him as he walked towards the station. It was cold, nothing like the summer evenings that sometimes haunted his dreams. His footsteps on the stairs down to the station echoed solemnly. As he waited for the train to arrive, he pulled his phone out. He opened the messages and started a new text. He typed it out and hovered over the send button. 

“Train is approaching. Please stay behind the yellow line. Thank you,” called the recorded message. Kuroo’s lips pulled up into a smirk before sending the text.

_8pm sharp, Tsukki. Don’t be late (heart)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack! Sorry for the late update! School really caught up to me this week and I didn't have my normal work shifts over the weekend where I usually write! :x but I got it out for you! I hope you enjoy!!! My friend told me that "exposition is just as important in fanfic as any other genre" so we definitely needed to learn more about our babe Kuroo. Hm, now what about Tsukki? ;-) 
> 
> Thanks so much for the continued support of this story! I hope you're loving it as much as I am! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are loved and always welcomed! See you next week! <3 <3 <3


	6. First Degree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We just hit 1,000 views! So here's a special treat--an early update! Woohoo! I wouldn't be at this point if it weren't for you all. <3 <3 <3

“Do you want any help, Rika?” Tadashi asked from the table.

Rika poked her head out from the kitchen. She smiled, “There’s not that much. You two go ahead and chat while I finish up.”

Tadashi returned a small smile before turning back to Tsukishima. 

“It does feel like ages, doesn’t it?”

Tsukishima nodded slightly, “You’re busy with work, I’m busy with work, Rika is busy with the kids.”

“Life just catches up with you huh?”

“Sure does,” Tsukishima said with a nod. 

“I’m glad you could come tonight,” Tadashi said after a moment.

“If I hadn’t I’m sure Rika would have burned my workplace down,”

Tadashi laughed, “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“She’s an incredibly scary woman. How did you manage to tame her?”

“I can hear you, you know!” Rika called.

Tadashi and Tsukishima laughed. Tsukishima looked at his friend and felt at ease. Yamaguchi Tadashi and Tsukishima Kei had been friends since grammar school. The friendship lasted all through high school where Yamaguchi kept up with Tsukishima's snark. They had gone to Karasuno together and were in the same college preparatory class. Yamaguchi and Rika were two of Kei's oldest friends. So when the two finally started to grow into each other, it was like a dynamic of the group had finally shifted into the right place. 

“Can you give this to Yamaguchi for me?” Rika had asked, holding an envelope out.

Tsukishima eyed it, “What is it?”

“Oh my god Kei, will you just do it?” 

“Not until you tell me what it is.”

Rika’s face was so red it went all the way to her ears, “It’s a love letter! Isn’t it obvious! I can’t believe you just made me say it out loud!”

“It’s about time,” Tsukishima said, “It was starting to get annoying how you two skirt around each other.”

“What—you mean he—“

Tsukishima snatched the letter from her hands. He smirked with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Isn’t it obvious?”

She had smacked him on the arm as he laughed at her expression.

Rika came back into the room with a bottle of sake and three cups, bringing Tsukishima back to the present. When she sat down, Tadashi leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. She smiled warmly at him before pouring out the drinks. 

“Let’s drink!” She toasted, raising her cup before downing it in one. Tsukishima and Tadashi followed her example and drank theirs as well. The alcohol flowed freely from there, the three adults enjoying the evening and reminiscing. 

The bottle was empty a few hours later and the kids had long since gone to sleep. Tsukishima and Tadashi were talking about some kind of business matter when Rika gave Tsukishima a look. Her face was flushed from the sake and her eyes glazed. 

“Okay,” she slurred, “Spill it, Kei.”

Tsukishima blinked and looked towards her. Tadashi looked equally confused.

“What is he spilling?” Tadashi asked.

“I wanna know about the infamous coworker!”

“Infamous?” Tsukishima frowned.

Rika rolled her eyes, “The one you spent the night with!”

“You spent the night with someone?” Tadashi turned his surprise on Tsukishima. 

“It wasn’t like that—“

“Tell us what she looks like! How did she catch your eye? I always thought you were more interested in work than personal affairs. Especially after Ayane—“

“Nothing happened.” Tsukishima said definitively. There was enough bite in his voice that Rika instantly closed her mouth. Tsukishima let out an exhale and pinched the bridge of his nose. He adjusted his glasses and took a moment. 

“Nothing happened,” he repeated, “They just let me stay at their place because I was too sick to make it back home. Besides, Tetsu-san is a _man_ Rika. Nothing would have happened anyway.”

He ignored the concerned look that Tadashi was giving him. Tsukishima deliberately turned his gaze down and refused to meet the man’s eyes.

Rika sighed, “Well there goes the excitement of my evening. Kei, I just want you to be happy. I think you should move on from Ayane, what with all the trouble she put you and Daiki-kun through.”

“I don’t have time for a relationship, Rika. I need to focus on raising Daiki.”

“Kei, Daiki-kun is already 8 years old. He’s plenty old enough for you to be able to find someone to love.” Rika shook her head, “I swear it’s like you’re clinging to Daiki-kun just so you can hold on to what’s left of Ayane. You really loved her, didn’t you?”

Tsukishima felt his breath catch in his throat. Finally he slid his gaze back up. Tadashi’s brow was creased with worry and unease—a look Tsukishima was all too familiar with. He was the only one who knew Tsukishima’s darkest secret.

“I had to,” Tsukishima said softly.

 

Yamaguchi supported Tsukishima as they trudged back to their dorm. 

“God Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi grunted, “You are fucking smashed.”

“What’s it to you? I’m finally able to let loose,” Tsukishima spat back.

“Yeah, it’s okay to have a few drinks, but man are you even going to remember this in the morning?”

“Shut up, you’re not drunk _enough_.”

Yamaguchi snorted, “If I was drunk we wouldn’t get home. Now come on, pick up your feet!”

When they finally stumbled over the threshold, Tsukishima threw himself onto his bed. His groan was muffled into his pillow. Rolling over onto his back, his glasses were askew and his face completely flushed. Yamaguchi reached into the small fridge and pulled out a bottle of water which he handed over to Tsukishima.

“Thanks,” he said before uncapping it to drink nearly half. Yamaguchi took his jacket off and hung it on his lofted bed. He pulled the chair from his desk to sit in front of Tsukishima. 

“Now, are you going to tell me why you decided to drink so much tonight?” 

Tsukishima gave him a harsh glare, “What are you, my mom?”

“I prefer the term best friend personally,” he countered with a shrug. Tsukishima regarded him for a moment before sitting up. He curled his feet underneath him and played with the bottle in his hands. His eyes were downcast, focused completely on the plastic between his palms.

“Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi tried again.

“Mei dumped me,” Tsukishima mumbled after a tense silence. 

Yamaguchi flinched in sympathy, “Damn. Sorry. Did she tell you why?”

“Yeah, she did,” he said slowly.

“Okay, well why?”

“It’s because—I mean it’s—she said she could tell I didn’t love her.”

“You two had only been dating for a couple months. There’s no way you could have fallen in love with her so quickly!”

Tsukishima seemed to draw into himself a bit. He held the bottle closer and the crunch of the plastic filled the room.

“That’s not it,” he whispered.

“Then I’m not following.”

He looked up at Yamaguchi. His friend stared back at him, his concern present in his features. 

“Yamaguchi I—I’m—“ His voice choked off the words as tears started to pour down his face. Startled, Yamaguchi stood from the chair.

“Tsukishima? Hey, it’s okay. You don’t—why are you—Tsukishima?” He reached forward to touch Tsukishima, but he shrank away.

“I’m not okay,” Tsukishima said through sobs, “I’m not normal.”

Yamaguchi stood awkwardly, half reaching towards Tsukishima. He wiped at his eyes angrily. The tears more frustration and drunkenness than anything else. 

“Tsukishima, I don’t understand. Can you try and explain it?” Yamaguchi said softly, his voice warm and comforting. Tsukishima looked conflicted but then he cursed under his breath. His hand shot out, grabbing Yamaguchi by the collar. Yamaguchi yelped as he was jerked forward before the sound was cut off by his lips on Tsukishima’s. It was brief and Yamaguchi was more stunned than anything. He couldn’t get his mind to kick back in to gear and he just blinked stupidly. 

Tsukishima pushed him away with a less than forceful shove and laid down. He turned on to his side, back towards Yamaguchi. 

Yamaguchi stood there frozen for another minute before his mouth started to form clumsy words again.

“You’re gay,” he whispered.

“Congratulations. You want a gold star?” Tsukishima hissed. He curled up around a pillow he’d drug to his chest. 

“Tsukishima it’s not—“

“She told me I was _disgusting_ ,” he said. His voice was calm, but Yamaguchi had long learned how to decipher his words. He exhaled out his nose before climbing onto the bed too. He slid his arms around Tsukishima, hugging him tightly to his chest.

“What are you—“ Tsukishima started to protest.

“You’re not disgusting. You don’t have to feel bad about who you like. You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay,” he said against the back of Tsukishima’s neck.

They were both quiet for a long time. Tsukishima swallowed hard.

“It’s too small, get off.”

“No.”

“It’s hot.”

“Too bad.”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, I hate you too.”

Tsukishima’s body trembled with his silent sobs. Yamaguchi simply pulled him closer and held him tighter.

 

The knock at his door startled Tsukishima. He looked in the direction of the front door before glancing at the clock on the wall. It was well past one in the morning. The only reason Tsukishima was up that late was to finish some last minute details on his thesis proposal. The knock sounded again, this time frantic.

“Coming, coming!” Tsukishima called as he stood. His bones groaned in protest from sitting in the same position for so long. The creaks in his body worked themselves out as he moved to the door. 

“Yes? Who is it?” He said as he opened the door. He felt his blood run cold at the sight before him. 

“I’m sorry Tsukki,” she said, her voice weak with tears, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Ayane, what’s—“ He began. She collapsed in great heaving sobs. He caught her as she fell. 

“Hey, hey,” he cooed, smoothing her hair and holding her close, “It’s okay. You’re all right. Will you tell me what’s happened?”

She clung to him, her hands shaking. She tried to catch her breath but could only continue crying. Tsukishima let out a sigh and just tightened his grip on her. It was then he noticed what else she had brought with her. Wide, scared brown eyes looked at him from underneath the rim of a baseball cap. The boy had a stuffed dog in his arms that he was squishing to his chest.

“Is that—“ Tsukishima breathed. 

Ayane nodded. 

_Her child._

“And is he—“

She shook her head. 

_Not his._

“Come inside,” Tsukishima said softly when Ayane had collected herself. The door closed with a small click behind them.

 

Tsukishima looked at the clock.

“It’s late. We should be going back.”

Rika frowned, “Can’t you stay the night?”

“It’s a weekday. The boys have school tomorrow.”

“They can miss one day.”

Tsukishima sighed and sent a pleading look to Yamaguchi.

“Now now,” Yamaguchi laughed, an easy smile on his face, “We should let them go home, Rika.”

“But Darling—!”

“We can have a spend-the-night some other time,” he said.

“Fine,” Rika huffed, pouting slightly. Yamaguchi reached out and rubbed her arm affectionately. 

“I’ll go and get Daiki,” Tsukishima said as he stood. 

He went upstairs quietly, his socked feet making no sound across the floor. Carefully he pushed open the door to Yuta’s room. The two boys were asleep on the bed facing each other. Tsukishima padded to the bed and gently shook Daiki. 

“Hm? Dad?” He mumbled, voice heavy with sleep. 

“Time to go,” Tsukishima whispered back. Daiki yawned but nodded, rolling out of the bed. Yuta stirred slightly before turning onto his other side. Daiki tugged his shoes on at the front door. Rika helped him shrug into his jacket. Tsukishima straightened the sleeves of his coat. 

“I’ll see you two out,” Yamaguchi said, slipping on a pair of outdoor shoes. 

“Goodnight Kei, Daiki-kun!” Rika called from the doorway with a wave. Tsukishima gave a quick wave back before pausing at the gate. He reached down and picked up Daiki who was plodding along. It was getting a bit more difficult to carry the boy at his age. But he still snuggled quickly into his father’s back and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“Be safe getting back,” Yamaguchi said.

“We will. I’ll mail you when we get in.”

“Rika would appreciate it,” Yamaguchi paused for a second, “You know you can talk to me about whatever is on your mind right?”

“If it’s about my love life, you don’t have to worry about it Tadashi,” Tsukishima murmured.

Yamaguchi considered him for a long time, his eyes hard and unreadable. He clapped a hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Take care of yourself, okay?”

“If you’re so worried about us, we can just move in with you. It would save me a lot on rent.”

Yamaguchi chuckled to himself, “Rika would go crazy living with you.” He gave him a soft punch to the arm.

“Goodnight Tadashi,” Tsukishima said with a small grin. He turned and began to walk down the road towards the station, Daiki sleeping soundly on his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The appearance of the mysterious Ayane! What could their relationship be? Where is she now? What other havoc can I wreck on these precious characters? 
> 
> So many questions! Worry not, they will all be answered and then some. 
> 
> I just want to say I am so thankful for all of you. Everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and just enjoyed this story. You're all so important to me and I appreciate each and every one of you. <3 <3 <3


	7. Second Degree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! This week and next week are both kind of hectic for finals. So the update may not be right on time! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

Tsukishima sent off the project to be approved by the production department. He let out a breath and pushed his arms into the air. The stiffness in his back had spread to the muscles in his neck. Even rolling his head around did little to relieve the pressure. As he rose the chair beneath him groaned slightly. 

“I agree,” he mumbled. The break room was empty when he walked in. A few secretaries finished up their conversation before hurrying out. Tsukishima pressed the button on the machine for a coffee. The hollow plunk of a cup falling sounded in the room. Gurgling coffee from the machine poured into the cup, not making it sound appetizing in the least. When it was full, he took the cup out. The first sip was bitter and hot, but Tsukishima didn’t mind enough to add any sugar or creamer. He gently blew on it to try and cool the drink. 

Feeling the stress drain from his muscles, he pulled his phone from his pocket. There was a new message notification on the home screen. A frown stretched his lips down. Had one of his clients tried to reach him? He unlocked his phone and opened the message. At seeing the sender he let out a small groan. 

 

_red or blue?_

 

Tsukishima stared at the message for a minute. Then he locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket. His cup bounced off the back edge of the trashcan when he threw it in. 

 

Kuroo checked his phone again. His easy smile tightened slightly. Still no response. He wouldn’t say he was disappointed. Although there was definitely some unpleasant feeling swirling in his stomach. That could just be the fact he hadn’t eaten yet that day. He’d only gotten up a few hours ago even though it was already 3pm. Tsukki was at work, so he probably hadn’t looked at his phone. That’s more than likely what was happening. It wasn’t that he was ignoring him or anything like that. At least that’s what Kuroo kept telling himself each time he glanced at his phone hoping for a reply. 

 

“Tsukishima-kun,” said a female voice behind him.

“Hm?” He mumbled as he turned to see who had addressed him. It was one of his coworkers in the advertising department. He wasn’t actually sure what her name was and her badge had turned around during the day.

“A few of us are going out for drinks after work tonight, would you like to join us?” She asked. He looked at her for a minute but then smiled politely.

“My deepest apologies,” he began, “I’m afraid I won’t be finished with this project for a few more hours.”

“Oh, you work too hard Tsukishima-kun,” she forced out a small laugh but then made her escape as quickly as she could. Tsukishima sighed and was starting to turn back to his work when he heard some hushed voices in the cubicle down the row from his.

“I told you he wouldn’t come,” said one voice, “The only time he’s ever gone was for his own welcoming party. Even then he still tried to skip out on it.”

“Maybe he’s just not the social type,” the woman who had talked to him replied.

“More like he thinks he’s better than us.”

“What do you mean?”

There was an annoyed laugh, “He’s only here because his dad sweet talked the chief to give him a position. Doesn’t even have a degree in advertising! I heard he dropped out of university.”

“But he makes such beautiful ads! He’s the reason I wanted to work at this agency,” the woman murmured. 

“Guess even coattail riders can do a decent enough job,” the voices drifted off as they moved out of the office. 

Tsukishima ignored the acidic feeling in his stomach. It was true he hadn’t gotten this job due to his own power, but he would be damned if he didn’t do the job to the best of his abilities. He didn’t know that was what his coworkers thought of him. Although he hadn’t been there to make friends, it still left a bad taste in his mouth. No one wants to be disliked. He pushed it from his mind and pulled a pair of headphones from a drawer in his desk. The music from his computer easily moved his thoughts back to the project in front of him and away from the gossip of his coworkers.

The sun had long since set when Tsukishima walked out of the office. He had finished a first draft for a project proposal. But there was still something that didn’t feel quite right about the product. He would need to look over it a little more to try and pinpoint what it was that wasn’t sitting right with him. With any luck, it would strike him in the shower or as he was falling asleep. 

When he settled into a seat on the train he pulled his phone out. It was just about half past ten. He had called Daiki around six to apologize for not being home for dinner—again. Daiki had just laughed and said one day he would be a better cook than Tsukishima because of all the practice he got. Tsukishima hated leaving Daiki all alone like that, but he worked on commission. The more projects he got done the more money he could have. The college fund he’d started for Daiki was still meager. There were other measures in place to make sure Daiki would have a good life but that meant sacrificing some time with him now. Tsukishima could only hope that his efforts at work would be recognized and a promotion achieved. If he was on salary he could cut his hours considerably to actually have the relationship with Daiki he wanted to have. Even if he wasn’t his biological father, he had made a promise to take care of the boy. Not that he hadn’t grown attached almost immediately. Sometimes Tsukishima forgot that Daiki wasn’t his own child. 

Tsukishima pulled his glasses from his face and rubbed at his eyes. His head throbbed from staring at his computer for hours. It had been a particularly long day and the interaction with his coworkers hadn’t helped his stress levels in the least. Sliding his glasses back on, he let his head fall back to rest against the vibrating window of the train. After a minute, his phone buzzed in his hand. A quick glance down showed a reminder for an appointment tomorrow. The memo displayed “Dinner 8. Club Shion.” For some reason he didn’t feel as exasperated as he had thought he would. Rika would be glad that he was getting out and meeting new people. However, Tetsu may not have fit into the category of people Rika had been thinking of. Tsukishima chuckled to himself at the thought. He exited the reminder and opened his messages. 

 

Kuroo fluffed his hair in the mirror. It was looking particularly wild that night. More than likely due to not drying it after his shower. He straightened the collar of the dark purple shirt and smoothed the sleeves on his crisp black suit jacket. The amethyst cufflinks glinted in the break room light. He flicked some dust off his pants when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. The screen showed a new mail which he opened. The mail contained just one word, but it caused Kuroo’s lips to pull into a smirk.

_Red._

 

Tsukishima looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing a new set of glasses, the frames thinner making his face more masculine. The lines of his cheeks weren’t obscured by any dark rims which also showed off the strong and sharp jawline. His hair was all in the right place, not a curl out of formation. With a splash of aftershave, he turned and walked out of the bathroom.

“Oh thank god,” Daiki said, “I thought I was gonna explode!” he pushed past Tsukishima and into the bathroom. Tsukishima blinked, stunned to silence. How long had he been in there? It couldn’t have been _that_ long, right?

The intercom buzzed causing Tsukishima to jump slightly.

“Coming, coming,” he called. He pressed the buzzer, “Tsukishima residence.”

“Let me up Kei!” Rikas’s voice was tinny through the speaker.

“Please come in,” he chuckled as he opened the main door. “Daiki! Do you have all your things together?”

“Is Yuta here? Already?” Daiki walked out of his room with his backpack and a small duffel bag. Just then a knock sounded from the front door. Tsukishima moved to answer, But Daiki shot past him and hurried to the door.

“Yuta! Rika-san!” Before they could even take off their shoes, Daiki had crushed Yuta in a hug. Rika laughed and smiled fondly at them.

“Hey come look at this poster I won the other day!”

“Ah Daiki—wait—“ Yuta tried to protest but Daiki had already pulled him to his room and closed the door.

“The energy of youth,” Rika sighed.

“Talking like an old woman when you aren’t even twenty-five,” Tsukishima shook his head, “You’re going to get grey hair is you keep talking like that.”

She punched him on the arm, “You had better watch that sharp tongue of yours Kei!”

He laughed and rubbed his arm, “Should I make tea?”

“No, we won’t be staying long,” She turned to look towards Daiki’s room, “We’ll miss the movie if you boys don’t hurry up!” There was the sound of scrambling, a loud thud, and a yelp. Daiki and Yuta emerged, both faces slightly flushed.

Tsukishima blinked, “Everything all right?”

“Yup, fine. I just uh, ran into my desk,” Daiki stammered.

“Be more careful.” Daiki only nodded, shooting a shy glance towards Yuta.

Rika clapped her hands once, “Let’s get a move-on kids! The trains wait for no man! Yuta grab the duffel and everyone get your shoes on.”

As the boys put their shoes on, Rika and Tsukishima stood near the door.

“Sorry for making you come all this way.” Tsukishima said.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re going to meet Tadashi at his office and then drive to the theater.”

“I still really appreciate it Rika. You’ve done a lot for me and Daiki.” He looked down where he was picking at his fingernails.

Rika smiled softly. She punched his arm again, much more gently this time.

“That’s what best friends do right? We look after each other. Besides,” her grin turned wicked, “I’ll look after Daiki-kun any day if it means you’re going on a date.”

Heat rose to Tsukishima’s cheeks faster than he could stop it, “D-date? It’s not a date! It’s just—it’s just dinner.”

She raised her eyebrows at him incredulously, “You’re wearing your good vest. You’ve pressed your shirt. Even changed your glasses and you’re still going to tell me it’s _just dinner_?”

He opened his mouth to rebuttal, closed it, sighed and shook his head.

“It’s really nothing serious. I’m simply repaying a favor,” he chewed on his lip softly, “You noticed all that?”

“Best friend remember?” She winked, “Either way, you look hot as hell and I hope you have fun tonight.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I’m leaving!” She announced, opening the door. Daiki and Yuta were right on her heels.

Daiki waved at the end of the hallway, “See you on Sunday Dad!”

“Do your homework and don’t forget to wash your face!”

“I will! Bye, love you!”

“Be safe, love you too,” he said as the door to the staircase closed behind them. Tsukishima looked down at his watch. It was just past seven. He would need to get going if he was going to get all the way to Shibuya by eight.

 

Kuroo sat in his booth, repeatedly glancing at his watch. The black leather of his shoes tapped a harsh rhythm against the hard floor. He kept smoothing the collar on his scarlet red dress shirt. The suit jacket had been slung over the corner of the booth’s seat. His general manager, Katou Hori, paused as he walked by. Even though he was inside, he still wore his sunglasses—something he’d done since Kuroo had first met him. 

“Nervous?” Katou asked. His voice was easily heard over the low music of the bar. Kuroo puffed his cheeks out in a pout and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Say, Hocchan, would you stand me up?” 

“Absolutely.” Katou answered immediately. Kuroo blinked and put his attention on the man.

“What? Really?”

Katou scratched his shaved head, “You’re selfish, loud, and immature. I would never date you.”

“Then take back all the times we slept together,” Kuroo grumbled.

“Fucking and dating are two entirely different things,” Katou explained. Kuroo clicked his tongue in agitation.

“You’re terrible Hocchan.”

“Then take back all the times we slept together.” He mimicked with a wink, only visible thanks to the scrunching of his face. Kuroo groaned, letting his head fall into his hands. Katou let out a breath then clapped Kuroo on the shoulder.

“Though I gotta say, I’d love to meet someone with the balls to stand you up.”

“I don’t think that makes me feel better,” Kuroo mumbled against his palms. 

“Tetsu-san,” said one of the boys who worked the front, “You’ve been requested.”

Kuroo sighed heavily, “Who is it? A return client?”

“No sir, I’ve never seen him before. I tried to give him the menu but he said he was here for you.”

“What does he look like?” Kuroo was standing before he could even get the sentence out.

“Uh, blonde, sir,” the worker stammered. Katou started laughing at the expression on Kuroo’s face. He hadn’t seen the man so elated in a very long time. 

Kuroo skidded around the divider that lead to the small entrance area of the club. He thought his spirit was going to leave him he was so relieved. But once his eyes fell on Tsukishima he felt a very different sensation start to spread through his body. Tsukishima stood there in the dim lighting looking like some kind of modern prince. He had on dark wash jeans, a black vest over a dark gold shirt, and seemed like he could take on the world. The lights threw shadows across the planes of his face that made Kuroo want to explore every inch with his lips. Kuroo swallowed hard and tried to suppress the heat beginning to pool in his stomach. This was not at all how he had expected this evening to start off. 

“Tsukki,” he eventually called out, drawing even closer to the man. Tsukishima looked up at the sound of the name. Kuroo cursed in his head. The different glasses caused no obstruction of his molten eyes and Kuroo thought he was going to melt. Tsukishima put down the list he had been looking at with pictures of all the hosts in the club. He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up a bit.

“That was not the menu I was expecting to look at tonight,” he said lightly. His eyes pierced Kuroo’s and he was immobile, “So you’re a host then?”

Kuroo was stunned for only a minute until his suave returned to him. His lips pulled back into an easy smirk, his eyes growing dark with seduction. The sound of his shoes against the floor was in time to the rapid beat of Tsukishima’s heart. What the hell, he thought to himself as he tried to calm the erratic organ. Kuroo moved next to Tsukishima, leaning into his space to look at the menu. He tapped a finger against his own picture on the page. The dark steel ring glinted as if winking.

“Number one in the area,” he purred. Tsukishima took half a step back, covering his mouth as he cleared his throat.

“Well I don’t want to take away from your work time. Perhaps another time—“ He was cut off as Kuroo looked up at him. He straightened, something about that smirk of his sharpening. He tilted his head towards Tsukishima.

“I invited you here for dinner,” he said. His hand moved slowly and rested underneath Tsukishima’s chin. The smooth skin of his thumb drug slowly across his bottom lip. There was a hunger in his eyes and his voice as he spoke, “And tonight you’re the main course, Tsukki.”

Right on cue, Tsukishima’s cheeks exploded into dark red, the blush going all the way to his ears. He knew he should move back, that getting away would be the proper course of action. But he couldn’t get his legs to do anything. He just heard the hammering of his heart in his ears and felt the heat of his face. Kuroo also seemed transfixed in the moment. But then a woman stepped inside and was quickly greeted by one of the doorman. That seemed to burst whatever bubble the two had been enveloped in. Kuroo and Tsukishima both took a step back from each other. Tsukishima’s eyes flitted around in an attempt to look anywhere but at Kuroo. Kuroo cleared his throat and pulled on his jacket’s sleeves. 

“Would you like to sit down?” Kuroo offered.

Tsukishima looked towards the area of the bar where other hosts were entertaining their clients. 

“This is my first time in a—what I mean is—I don’t really have any,” he was flustered and he couldn’t stand it. What was it about this man that just got so under his skin?

“If you’re worried about money, don’t,” Kuroo chuckled, “It’s my treat tonight. Anything and everything.” Tsukishima pulled a face and Kuroo couldn’t help but to laugh, “Really Tsukki you don’t have to worry. You aren’t indebted to me or something like that. Just you being here is enough.”

Tsukishima pursed his lips, looking slightly displeased even if it didn’t reach his eyes, “Do you use cheesy lines like that on your clients all the time?”

“All the time,” Kuroo confirmed with a quick nod. Tsukishima sighed as if he was weighing his options.

“I don’t really have anything else to do,” he mumbled. Kuroo’s smirk returned and he bowed slightly towards Tsukishima. He swept his arm out as he stood.

“Right this way, my most honored guest.”

 

Kuroo refilled Tsukishima’s glass. Tsukishima was looking around at everything going on.

“So is that all you do? Drink expensive alcohol and flirt with women?”

“For the most part yeah,” Kuroo laughed. He also put more drink in his own glass, “But we do each have a talent that we can show off if we want.”

“Every host does?”

Kuroo nodded, “Yes sir.”

“How about him?” Tsukishima pointed to a host with large, owl-like eyes. He was sitting with two women and another male host.

“They actually work together. They do a little comedy thing a lot like Lover Girl.” The women started to laugh at something the owl-eyed one had said. The other host, a more subdued black haired male, shook his head in exasperation. 

“Okay then,” Tsukishima moved a bit to the left, “Him?”

“That’s Toba.”

Tsukishima frowned, taking a sip from his glass, “As in Emperor Toba?”

“You got it!”

“That’s not his actual name is it?”

“No, each host takes a name based on their charm or act. It’s a way to help the clients choose their experience when they pick a host.”

“So then his act is what?”

Kuroo sat back in the booth, drink in hand, “He’s incredibly princely. We call him “ouji-sama” amongst ourselves.”

“It’s like drinking with royalty then?”

“Exactly,” he took a long drink, “You sure this is your first time at a host bar, Tsukki?”

“Of course.” He finished his glass and turned his gaze on to Kuroo, “So what’s your thing then?”

Kuroo smirked, “I’m a charismatic bad boy.”

“Ah,” Tsukishima looked thoughtful, “With that bed head of yours I would have thought it would be lazy apathetic asshole.”

“Lazy—! Asshole—!” Kuroo squeaked indignantly, trying to cover his hair with his hands. When he turned to glare at Tsukishima he found the man doubled over with laughter. It was a full-bodied sound that shook his shoulders and caused tears to prick at the corner of his eyes. Kuroo quickly looked away and covered his face with his hand. If anyone asked, he would say the color to his cheeks was due to the alcohol.

 

“I’m surprised this place sells more than just champagne,” Tsukishima commented as he ate some of the food they had ordered.

“Why? It’s the same as a normal bar, just with extremely handsome men.” 

“Hm, I suppose. I never thought of host bars as,” his voice trailed off and he eyed Kuroo cautiously. 

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at him, “As a legitimate business?”

“I guess I just imagined pretty men swindling lonely housewives out of their money,” he said with a shrug. Kuroo leaned closer to Tsukishima. His head was crooked slightly and that sinful smirk of his was back. His eyes twinkled with mirth.

“Do you feel swindled, Tsukki?”

Tsukishima swallowed, ignoring the color to his cheeks, “I might be if I was paying.”

“Stingy,” Kuroo chuckled and moved away. Tsukishima found himself following the man when he nearly lost his balance. Kuroo held out a hand to steady him. The contact on his bare forearm made heat blossom in Tsukishima’s stomach.

“You okay?” 

“I might have drank too much,” Tsukishima mumbled, “How do you all not get alcohol poisoning?”

“Hm,” Kuroo thought for a second, “Built up immunity?” He gave Tsukishima a shit-eating grin. Tsukishima shook his head and glanced down at his watch. He was surprised to find he had already been there for three hours. Now he understood how someone could get swept away in the atmosphere of the place. Besides, it was sort of nice to just have someone to talk to about everyday grievances and the such. Didn’t hurt that the person was also extremely attractive either. 

“Tsukki?” Kuroo called. He’d been trying to get the blonde’s attention for a few minutes now. Tsukishima looked up, suddenly broken from his thoughts.

“Sorry what?”

Kuroo smiled softly at him and it caused his stomach to do weird flips, “I was asking if you were all right.”

“Oh, yes I’m fine.” Tsukishima cleared his throat, “I was just thinking it was time I got home.”

“I guess it is getting a little late. Your Daiki-kun might start getting worried.”  Tsukishima shook his head, “He’s staying at a friend’s tonight.”

“So you’ll be home alone?” Kuroo glanced down at his phone for a second, “I’ll take you home.”

“No, it’s all right. I’ve already troubled you enough.”

Kuroo laughed, “It’s a host’s duty to take care of his clients. I just want to make sure you get back safely. That’s all.”

“I guess that’s all right then,” Tsukishima muttered reluctantly. They stood from the booth and Kuroo looked over towards Katou who was standing at the bar. Kuroo motioned to all the things on the table then at himself. He would cover the expenses. Katou nodded in understanding then nodded slightly at Tsukishima. Pillow business, he was wondering. Kuroo chuckled and made an ‘x’ with his fingers. Katou shrugged as if to say “too bad.” With that Kuroo turned and followed Tsukishima from the bar. 

To get to Asakusa from Shibuya, they had to transfer twice onto different train lines. Tsukishima had a bit of trouble getting his Suica card to work at the turnstiles. Kuroo reached out to steady his hand as he swiped it across the panel. His chest was warm and firm against Tsukishima’s back. Tsukishima ignored the way his cock twitched in his jeans. He had never been held by a man, but he was suddenly bombarded with thoughts of Kuroo’s strong heat pressing down on him and enveloping him. He quickly tried to turn those thoughts away as fast as he could. It would be just his luck to be half-hard while on the train. Kuroo noticed Tsukishima’s cautious but deliberate distance he kept from him. He couldn’t help but think that maybe he was effecting Tsukishima in a certain way. Not that he was complaining.

They made it to Tsukishima’s apartment without much trouble after that. The street up to the building was mostly empty save for the occasional cat. Tsukishima stopped at the front door of the building and turned to Kuroo.

“This is it,” Tsukishima said. 

Kuroo nodded, “Alright. You won’t be too lonely without Daiki-kun will you?” He teased.

“I’ll be fine,” he rolled his eyes. There was something in the air, a sort of reluctance to part between the two of them. Kuroo looked up at the sky, surprised by the visibility of the stars. Tsukishima started to pick at his fingernails. Then he took a shaky breath.

“Do you want to come up?” He asked softly. Kuroo blinked, startled, and looked back at Tsukishima. His face was pink and he looked uncomfortable. Kuroo felt his stomach twist into knots. Desire and longing enflamed his blood but he knew he couldn’t accept. Lots of first time visitors got seduced by the idea of the club and didn’t make rational decisions. Not to mention Tsukishima had quite a bit to drink that evening. 

“Sorry Tsukki,” Kuroo began, pushing his hands into his pockets, “But I don’t sleep with my clients.” The pain that flashed across Tsukishima’s features was enough to make Kuroo regret those words. Tsukishima quickly schooled his expression back to a neutral one. He pushed his glasses up awkwardly. His hand was shaking.

“Oh, of course not. Sorry I got ahead of myself,” he said quickly. “Thank you for seeing me home. I should, I’ll just—“ He started to turn towards the door.

“Tsukki,” Kuroo’s voice was strange enough to make Tsukishima look back at him. Kuroo looked down, up at the sky, sighed, then dipped his head to kiss Tsukishima. Tsukishima barely registered the soft lips on his own when they disappeared. Stunned he could only look at Kuroo who still seemed as composed as ever when Tsukishima felt that his entire being was unraveling. 

“Do you kiss all your clients?” Tsukishima eventually whispered.

Kuroo slid his sharp gaze back to him, making Tsukishima’s breath catch in his throat.

“No,” he said, “But I don’t consider you just a client either.” He laughed mostly to himself before taking a step back. “Have a good night, Tsukki.” Then he waved and walked down the road back to the station. There was a bit of movement at the corner of the street, but Tsukishima figured it was just a stray cat. 

Numbly, Tsukishima unlocked the door and climbed the steps to his apartment. The door unlocked after a second of wrestling with the rusted lock. When he was inside he leaned bodily against the door before sliding to the ground. His entire body was on fire and he thought his face was going to burn completely. With a shaking hand he touched his lips gingerly. He pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face between them.


	8. Out of the Frying Pan

Kuroo sat at the bar, pushing the glass around the counter. His mind was a foggy mess and his thoughts slipped from him like sand between fingers. He didn’t even notice when Katou slid into the seat next to him.

“Haven’t seen you looking this serious since you accepted the title of top host,” Katou noted. A harsh breath escaped from Kuroo’s lips.

“I kissed him,” he said.

Katou blinked, adjusting his sunglasses, “is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t even know if Tsukki likes men!”

“Even if he doesn’t, he’s definitely into you.”

“What? How do you know that?” Kuroo asked as he sent a curious look towards Katou.

With a shrug, Katou said, “Would a guy stick around a host club if he wasn’t interested? Or let you kiss him and not get mad about it afterwards?”

“i hadn’t thought of that,” Kuroo mumbled. He took a sip of his drink and mulled over it for a moment.

“Have you talked to him since then? It’s been a week.”

“No,” Kuroo dropped his face into his hands, “Should I have? I figured it was up to him at this point.”

“Well, it sort of is. But what if he doesn’t think you’re serious?”

Kuroo scoffed, “Of course I’m serious. Isn’t that at least obvious?”

“I’ve known you for a long time and you are the most deceptive person I have ever met.” Katou said. Kuroo let out an indignant squawk and started to argue, but Katou held up his hand, “What I mean is that you’re such a jokester. No one knows when to take you seriously. To this Tsukki fellow, it could look like you’re just playing around.”

“Fuck, then what do I do?”

“Try talking to him again. This time where the playing field is equal, or even where he might have the upper hand. You’ll really be putting the ball in his court then. Think you can give up control for a little bit?”

Kuroo chewed on his thumbnail for a second. The habit flared up when he was incredibly anxious or worried. Then he nodded slightly, a quick aborted jerk of his head. 

“I think I can do that much at least.”

Katou nodded, “Good. Cause if not, he’s gonna get snapped up quick. It’s always the attractive oblivious ones that get scooped up right away.”

“Hocchan!”

“I’m just saying.” Katou clasped his hand firmly on Kuroo’s shoulder, “I’m looking out for you kid. We’ve been friends too long for me to not want to see you at least some kind of happy.”

“I owe you a lot, Hocchan. That’s for sure,” Kuroo said with the corners of his lips up in a small smile. Katou patted his shoulder a few times before standing and going to attend other business. Kuroo sighed and downed the rest of his drink in one go. He pulled his phone from his pocket and opened a new mail. His fingers hovered over the keyboard for an elongated minute before he typed out a quick message. Closing his eyes, he pressed send and with it a small prayer to whatever gods may be watching.

_dinner? your pick_

The buzz of the phone caused Tsukishima to glance away from his book. He blinked at his phone and picked it up. It was late night on a Friday so he didn’t think it was Rika or Tadashi trying to contact him. He sure hoped it wasn’t one of his clients. He’d finally finished a large project that they would be photographing within the week. If one of the clients found something they didn’t agree with, it would be difficult to adjust in such a short amount of time. Tsukishima was relieved when he saw that the sender was Tetsu. The grin that pulled at his lips was gentle and actually surprised him. An awkward cough cleared his throat as he schooled his expression back to uninterested. Not that there was anyone in the living room to notice his silly face. He opened the message and had to read it at least three times. Tetsu wanted to get dinner with him again. He wanted to go on a second date. Or was it the first official date? Was it even a date in the first place? After considering the message for a minute, he decided to reply. Tsukishima almost couldn’t even believe he was doing it.

_Would you like to have dinner here?_

When he sent send, he thought his heart was going to just stop. The phone buzzed almost immediately. 

_tell me when_

“What are you smiling at?” Daiki asked, coming into the room from the kitchen. He had a glass of water in his hand.

“Uh,” Tsukishima stumbled over his words for a second, “I’m texting someone.”

This got Daiki’s attention. With a curious look in his eyes, he moved to stand behind Tsukishima. He tried to peek around his dad and see his phone screen. Tsukishima easily covered the phone with his hand. Daiki set the glass down on the small desk.

“Someone from work?”

Tsukishima felt a blush trying to work it’s way onto his cheeks. He stamped it down and cleared his throat nervously. 

“No,” he said slowly. If Daiki had been a dog, his ears would have perked up. Even so, the excitement could easily be felt coming from the boy.

“Someone you like?”

“It’s still too early to say.”

Daiki smiled so wide it split his face, “That means yes!”

“No it doesn’t. I don’t know him well enough to say either way.” Tsukishima paled when he realized what he had said. He’d mentioned Tetsu using male pronouns. He watched Daiki’s expression carefully but he wasn’t deterred in the least.

“I want to meet him. Why doesn’t he have dinner with us? We can invite Rika-san and Yuta too!” He said excitedly. 

“No!” Tsukishima hissed. Daiki flinched at the tone of voice. He looked hurt and glanced away from him. Tsukishima let out a small sigh before continuing, “I don’t want Rika to get excited over nothing so I’m not telling her yet. But I think having him over for dinner would be good.”

Daiki’s expression lightened with a gentle smile, “How about Thursday then? I can even pick up some things from the store if you need me to.”

“Thursday, huh,” Tsukishima thought about it. Since it would be towards the end of the week, he should have most of the work done by then. Not to mention the company was doing a shoot on Thursday so those didn’t generally last very long. It wouldn’t take the entire day even if something went wrong.

“I’ll probably get home early. Shall we make something together?”

“Yeah! We haven’t cooked together in forever! And having company over is always exciting.” 

Tsukishima chuckled slightly, “You’ll have to clean your room before then.”

“Aye aye captain!” Daiki gave him a mock salute and the two laughed. When they quelled their laughter, Daiki turned a genuine smile at Tsukishima.

“I’m really glad Dad,” he said, “It’s been hard since Mom left.”

“Daiki,” Tsukishima sobered slightly at the comment, “They’re going to find Ayane.”

“What if I don’t want them to?” Daiki mumbled looking down.

“To say such a thing—“

“She never loved me anyway!” The boy’s voice shook with withheld anger. Tsukishima was taken aback. He noticed that Daiki’s shoulders were trembling. A telltale sign of fighting back tears. Tsukishima turned and wrapped his arms around Daiki. In the siting position, Daiki was able to bury his face in Tsukishima’s neck and the warmth of tears soon met his skin. He didn’t cry for very long and he pulled back to wipe at his eyes.

“Ayane does love you,” Tsukishima whispered, “She just didn’t know how to show it.”

“Then why did she leave us?”

Tsukishima felt his brows draw together. He would be lying if he said he didn’t prefer life without Ayane around. It had simply been the easiest solution to a bad situation for Ayane. She was able to run away from the abusive bastard she’d been seeing. Not to mention the drug use. It wasn’t a safe environment for a four year old child and she knew it. When Ayane had first disappeared, Tsukishima didn’t think much of it. She would frequently be gone for days at a time doing who-knows-what. Then days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months. He checked with the police to report her missing. They checked all the hospitals, institutions, and other places she may have run to. Even her old haunts hadn’t seen her around. It was as if she had just gone off the grid. Having lived with Tsukishima for two years, Daiki didn’t even blink at the news Ayane might not be coming back. 

“But I have Dad now, so I’ll be okay,” six year-old Daiki had said, crayon held loosely in his small hand. 

Tsukishima ruffled his hand through Daiki’s hair, “Why don’t we go somewhere tomorrow? We haven’t been to the amusement park for awhile.”

“Really?” Daiki’s previous somber mood disappeared instantly. He beamed at Tsukishima.

“Really really.”

“It’s gonna be so much fun! Can we have curry too? And crepes? We have to go in the haunted house! Promise me we’ll go in the haunted house!”

Tsukishima felt his stomach drop. He hated scary things. It was hard to swallow the lump in his throat, “I promise.”

“No taking it back!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he pushed Daiki towards his bedroom, “Now go to sleep or you’ll be grumpy all day tomorrow.”

“I’m going, I’m going!” Daiki laughed and hurried into his room. A second later he poked his head out, “Hey Dad?”

Tsukishima looked up from his phone, “Hm?”

Daiki hesitated, “I’m glad you’re my dad.”

He blinked and then smiled, “I love you too.”

Daiki seemed to be satisfied with that and finally went into his room for the night. Tsukishima sent a quick mail to Tetsu letting him know that Thursday would be a good day for dinner. He didn’t get a response before he went to sleep, but it was waiting for him when he woke up the next morning.

_i’m already looking forward to it_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been incredibly hectic since I've come back from school. Here's the newest chapter! I'm going to try and keep regular updates once a week. Hope you enjoy and everyone has a good holiday season.


	9. And Into the Fire

Tsukishima stepped into the small bakery in the train station. The morning commute to work was never too crowded as Tsukishima went in much earlier than most. Not because he had so much to do but so he could do it well. He didn’t have much of an education in the field so he wanted to allow himself the most time to produce the best product. This bakery usually opened right before Tsukishima would catch his train out to Shibuya. It was reasonably priced and family run, meaning the pastries were hand made with a certain amount of love. He grabbed a tray and started to put a few baked goodies onto it.

Mostly he only got breads that he could eat throughout the day. Tsukishima wasn’t really hungry during lunch so he would have a melon bread or croissant during his break. A few of the treats found themselves on his tray. For a second he hovered his tongs over the one pastry that always taunted him. It was a strawberry shortcake tart. The ingenious design rolled his most favored culinary delight into a delicious and portable treat. When his tray clattered against the cashier’s counter, there were three tarts on it. 

The kind woman who didn’t seem to be older than fifty smiled at him. There was a warmth in her eyes that came with age and experience. She began to bag the pastries with care.

“No hot chocolate today, Tsukishima-san?” She asked.

He returned her smile, “How can I start my week without one?”

“I’ll get one started for you then, dear,” she turned and started to work at the machine behind the counter. Tsukishima snuck his hand into the bag, wincing at the crinkling of the bag. The woman turned and gave him a sly, knowing look but only turned back to the machine. Already having been found out, Tsukishima pulled one of the tarts out to take a bite of it. The taste spread across his tongue and caused a pleased sigh to push out his nose. As he was savoring the bite, his eyes fell on the newspaper near the counter. There were flyers for the grocery store nearby sticking out the top. 

The woman placed the cup on the counter, drawing Tsukishima’s attention back to her. She rang up the hot chocolate and the pastries.

“Anything else?” 

‘Oh, yes a newspaper please,” he answered as he placed one under his arm. She smiled and nodded.

“It’s going to be ¥1,500,” she said. He put two ¥1,000 notes in the platter and she put a ¥500 coin as his change. He thanked her with a small bow and grabbed the bag and cup. She bowed to him as he went out the door. 

The train rattled around Tsukishima. Various announcements were being made overhead about the upcoming stops, holding onto the handles when standing, and not forgetting any personal items on the train. He opened the newspaper and began to scan the sales that would be going on that week. A pen made its way to his hand, finding himself circling items and making notes along side them. He still wasn’t exactly sure what they were going to have but there were plenty of things that could be used for multiple recipes. The female overhead alerted him that Shibuya was the next stop. He finished one last note, grabbed his bag of pastries, and stood near the door as the train came to a stop. The doors opened with a whoosh, Tsukishima exiting not long after. There were a few businessmen waiting to get onto the train. People were starting to go to work and the station was beginning to get more crowded. There were more people entering the station than exiting when Tsukishima stepped onto the street.

 

“Tsukishima. Tsukishima!” 

Tsukishima quickly looked up from the recipe he was reading, “Yes?”

The man standing above him crossed his arms over his chest. His dark eyes held a hint of fury, the set line of his mouth betraying his annoyance. A harsh breath exhaled from his lips and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I was saying, be sure to have all the materials for tomorrow together by the time the day is done. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir. I’ll have it on your desk within the hour.”

“And a copy in the production manager’s mailbox.”

“I’ll see to it, sir.”

The man nodded once and turned to walk away. He paused at the edge of Tsukishima’s cubicle, “And Tsukishima?”

“Sir?” Tsukishima asked, looking up from gathering the materials on his desk.

“Personal endeavors should be done during breaks.”

Embarrassment settled onto his cheeks in the form of a light blush. Tsukishima lowered his head, “Yes sir.”

As the steps of his section head faded into the office din, Tsukishima sighed. He stacked all the materials that would be needed for the meeting tomorrow. They nestled into the crook of his elbow as he stood. His eyes slid back to the computer screen that still showed the recipe. With a split second of hesitation he bent over and clicked print on the webpage. He quickly moved from his desk to the copy room, hoping no one else was using the machine.

 

Kuroo browsed the aisles of the store. He flipped through hanger after hanger of shirts and vests. One of the saleswomen came up to him. Her long chestnut hair was up in a sleek, high ponytail.

“Can I help you find anything today, sir?” She asked with hints of flirtation in her voice. Kuroo plastered a charming smile on his face, easily slipping into his host persona. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to deal with the woman, but he knew what he was shopping for.

“I’m looking for an outfit for a dinner date.”

Her cheerful facade threatened to break. She kept her composure even if he did see the twitch at the corner of her mouth. Her smile tightened.

“How wonderful!” She clapped her hands together with false excitement, “Will you be going out then?”

Kuroo couldn’t help the smirk that pulled at his lips, “No, we’ll be staying in.”

“A home cooked meal—so romantic.” She gave him a once over, the envy clear in her body language. Her lips pursed momentarily as if in thought, but Kuroo knew better. Her eyes looked back at his and he leaned against the nearest clothing rack. His eyebrow rose in expectation. Her smile was sour and too tight when she began again.

“You seem to have a fashionable sense of style. I won’t feel bad leaving you to yourself. If you’d like, I can start a fitting room for you when you find some items to try. Ask for Yuki!” With that she turned and moved to a different part of the store.

Kuroo chuckled to himself. He should be nicer to people. After all he earned his living by spoiling and complimenting women. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t care to cater to the fairer sex during the daytime. Sure he was civil and sometimes it was fun to tease people. He didn’t dote on people off-hours.

His eyes scanned the racks for a while, grabbing a piece here and there. It wasn’t like he didn’t have clothes in his closet. He had plenty of designer silk shirts and well pressed pants. But something about the occasion made those clothes seem inappropriate. Maybe it was because he was trying to keep Tsukki as separate from his idea of a “client” as he could. Therefore if he wore the same style of clothes he wore for work to dinner at Tsukki’s, the lines would be blurred. Kuroo didn’t even fully understand it himself. The only thing he knew for certain was he wasn’t wearing anything that could require cufflinks to the Tsukishima residence tomorrow.

When he came up to the check out counter, it was a different woman. She looked about the same age as Kuroo and her name badge had “Assistant Manager” written on it.

“Did you find everything?” She asked. She didn’t look at him much other than to make polite eye contact. Her look lingered for a second longer than socially at one point. Kuroo smirked. He had thought he wouldn’t catch her attention, but it had only been a matter of time.

“I did, thank you.” He answered. She nodded and went back to taking sensors off the clothing. She also checked the garments for any damage or stains. Kuroo leaned against the counter, watching her fingers work with a certain ease that comes with a long standing job.

“What brings an assistant manager to the cashier’s counter—“ he glanced at her name tag, “Rika-chan?”  
Her eyes flicked up to him, mouth terse in displeasure, “One of our girls called in sick today.”

“Poor thing,” Kuroo murmured, “At least _you’re_ here.” He chuckled. A flash of irritation crossed her eyes. She quickly finished her inspection and rang up the items. Her smile was all business when she addressed him again.

“Will that be all sir?” She asked. He answered with a shrug and a nod, “That comes to ¥66,159.”

The price seemed a bit low for the quality and quantity of the items, but Kuroo wasn’t complaining. He had some suits in his closet that were over ¥150,000. To come out with eleven pieces from such a high end store seemed like a steal. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and counted out seven ¥10,000 bills. They went into the small tray on the counter. She bowed her head slightly before taking the bills, counting them, and getting his change. She placed the change in the tray and slid it back at him. As he was putting his change away she finished wrapping and bagging his items. He grabbed the bag she offered him. 

“Thank you for coming!” She called as the doors slid open to let in the busy mall sounds. Kuroo gave a small wave and was swallowed by the crowd. When the doors closed, Rika’s polite smile fell from her face. She huffed in agitation and began to straighten one of the accessory racks near the counter. 

“What an arrogant guy,” she grumbled. It was those types—the attractive and knew it, holier-than-thou—that made her blood boil. Guy was probably born into a well-to-do family with a silver spoon in his ass. The thought made Rika chuckle to herself. She was glad he would be another of the thousands of strangers she would never have to see again.

 

Tsukishima thanked the appropriate people before excusing himself. He pulled his phone from his pocket to turn it back on. All staff were required to power off all electronic devices at photo shoots or video recordings. Some producers even collected them at the beginning to ensure no products were leaked. Those clients were hard to work with and Tsukishima always found himself with a headache at the end of the day. Luckily, the crew they had worked with today were regulars with their company. The trust between them was good and they always put out high quality advertisements that guaranteed well above average numbers in sales. 

His phone told him it was a little before three in the afternoon. They had gotten to work promptly at ten and there hadn’t been any major problems. Of course there were a few hiccups here and there, but nothing that couldn’t be smoothed out easily. Since it was still early, the sale he had wanted to go to was still going on. So he put his phone away and made his way towards the closest station. It would take him at least twenty minutes to get back to Asakusa and that would only leave a little time in the sale. He hoped there would still be beef left. There were many a time that Tsukishima had to use his height to intimidate housewives in the supermarket. Those were dark times that Tsukishima was hardly proud of. But a father in a single-income household with a growing boy did what he had to.

Many stars were thanked when Tsukishima finally made it to the supermarket. There were still plenty of cuts of beef to choose from at the discounted price. He inspected a few packages, weighing by hand and looking at the amount of fat and marbling on the meat. Eventually he found one that would work for dinner. He placed it in the basket hanging in the crook of his elbow. Then he went on to grab a few more items he would need. A pack of beer also made its way into his basket. The cashier uninterestedly scanned his purchases and the transaction went off without any noticeable events. Two bags were held tightly in one hand as he looked at his phone in the other hand. 

There were a few emails from the production manager on adjustments to the images. Those were sent to others on the team though so Tsukishima wasn’t too worried about them. Besides he didn’t work much with the editing and typesetting. Mostly he did set up and planning with design for an advertisement. He would be part of the crew who okay’d the final product before it was printed, but that was about it. There was also a text from Rika venting about an absurdly attractive asshole at her job today. Apparently he had been incredibly informal with her, attractive, and had a great taste of style so she couldn’t even ridicule his choice in clothing. Tsukishima chuckled at that. A text from Tetsu caught Tsukishima’s eye. He checked the time stamp on it and it was from around lunch time. He hadn’t thought Tetsu would be up that early.

_should i bring anything?_

Tsukishima looked down to the bags in his hand. Mentally he checked items on his list: ingredients, beef, drinks, dessert—He groaned and typed out a quick response.

_Would you mind bringing dessert?_

It wasn’t until Tsukishima was back in his apartment setting the ingredients on the table that he got a reply.

_am i not sweet enough_

He snorted and rolled his eyes.

_I don’t think Daiki would appreciate it quite as much as he would a cake._

_always the children_

Tsukishima frowned at the message. What did that even mean? He shook his head and started to get pots out from cupboards. First he would want to make the vegetable salad. The rice wouldn’t take long and Daiki could do that. Tsukishima decided to make the broth from scratch so he got the things out for that as well. He wondered about pickling the radishes himself and figured it wouldn’t be that much of a hassle. If he did that before the salad, the radishes would have plenty of time in the pickling liquid. So he got out a bowl and started to throw together a quick pickling liquid. As he was putting the radishes in the fridge, his phone chimed on the table. He wiped his hands on the apron he had donned and moved to pick the electronic up.

_what time do you want me there? you don’t expect me to be fashionably early or anything do you?_

He looked at the clock. It was around four now. Daiki would be home any second. Since the meal was simple it wouldn’t take too long to prep. He went over the instructions in his head for timings before replying.

_Six will be appropriate._

Then he sent:

_I didn’t think you understood the concept of “early.”_

There was a quick flurry of responses each increasingly desperate to prove that Tetsu was indeed a good guy and could be on time if he really needed to be. There might have been a quip about premature ejaculation in there somewhere but Tsukishima couldn’t be sure. He simply shook his head, a fond smile on his face before he turned back to the vegetable salad.

 

Daiki came thundering into the apartment. He was out of breath and his face flushed with the effort.

“I’m home!” He called, quickly tugging his shoes off. 

Tsukishima peeked around the wall of the kitchen, “Welcome home.”

“What are you doing?” Daiki asked, “How can I help?”

“I have it cooking now. It should be done in about an hour and a half. Plenty of time for you to do your homework and clean your room.”

Daiki frowned, “Clean my room?”

“I can’t give a tour of the house if your room is dirty, now can I? Wouldn’t that be extremely embarrassing,” he covered his mouth with his hand as if relaying a scandal. Daiki’s eyes widened and he scurried into his room.

“I’ll have it clean right away!” He yelled from his room. Tsukishima chuckled. With the beef cooking in the broth, he had time before Tetsu’s arrival to do a bit of cleaning himself. He wanted to pick up the living room and do some dusting. The bathroom could use some care as well. With the time he would even be able to take a short shower and change before Tetsu got there. The apron hung up on a hook on the wall and Tsukishima walked out of the kitchen. He paused momentarily to get the sound system working to fill the apartment with music. Both he and Daiki found themselves singing loudly to the songs as they worked in readying the place for their guest.

Tsukishima started to add the roux to the big pot to thicken the mixture.

“Daiki, can you check the rice?” He called.

“Give me a second!” Daiki came into the kitchen a few minutes later. Tsukishima noticed how Daiki had changed out of his school uniform to one of his nicer shirts. He had even brushed his hair to lay in a composed swoop across his forehead. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well don’t you look nice.”

Daiki cleared his throat, “I don’t want to make you look bad.”

“As if you could,” Tsukishima said. He pointed the spoon he was using at Daiki, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the great Tsukishima Kei, former Iron Shield of Karasuno.”

The young boy stared at him, unimpressed. With a shake of his head and a sigh he went back to checking on the rice.

“Please don’t say that ever again. I’d hate for you to embarrass yourself.”

“Where did you pick up such a sharp tongue?” Tsukishima joked, pushing Daiki lightly. Daiki pushed him back, smile on his lips.

“Only the sharpest.”

They worked in silence for a minute. Tsukishima pulled the vegetables from the fridge and started to get plates out. Daiki looked at him from the corner of his eye.

“You don’t have to be so nervous,” he mumbled.

Tsukishima blinked and paused what he was doing. He looked at Daiki who was intently inspecting the rice. 

“Thanks,” he said, “Promise to behave?”

“What am I gonna do?” Daiki countered. He turned an incredulous look at Tsukishima who responded with a shrug.

“Kids can be pretty wild these days. How are us olden folk supposed to keep up?”

“I won’t do anything Rika-san wouldn’t do.” Daiki smiled a wicked grin and Tsukishima wondered if this evening would really go off without any problems. 

He started to say something when the intercom buzzed. It had been a long time since he felt his stomach drop. Not even the haunted house had made him this anxious. The two looked at each other until the intercom buzzed again. Tsukishima stuttered into action.

“C-Coming!” He called. His finger was trembling slightly when he pressed the buzzer, “Tsukishima residence.”

“It’s me Tsukki. Could you let me up? These old ladies are trying to take me home.” Kuroo’s voice crackled through the speaker. 

“Don’t get eaten,” Tsukishima mumbled as he unlocked the main door. He stood awkwardly in the main entrance. Daiki came to stand at the edge of the hallway. Curiosity was written all over his face. This would be the first time he had met the mysterious Tetsu who had not only looked after his father when he was ill but also seemed to have captured the steely man’s attention. 

They both jumped slightly at the sound of footsteps in the hallway. The air was tense as they waited. The footfalls halted in front of the door. Daiki didn’t realize he was holding his breath until his lungs started to burn for air. Even then he was afraid to breathe due to anticipation for the moment. Their eyes turned to watch the doorknob slowly turn. The hinges were silent as the door pushed open. Kuroo stepped inside, freezing at the intense stares. 

“Uh,” he stammered, “Sorry for the intrusion.”

Tsukishima broke out of his stupor, “N-Not at all. Please come in.”

“Are those flowers?” Daiki abruptly said. Kuroo and Tsukishima were both startled and looked towards him. Daiki motioned back towards Kuroo. Tsukishima looked back to Kuroo, surprised he hadn’t noticed sooner. Kuroo was standing there with a bag in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other. 

“Yeah,” Kuroo mumbled. He held the bag out towards Daiki who came forward and took it, “Cake for the kid and,” Kuroo cleared his throat. He turned to Tsukishima and offered the bouquet to him, “Flowers for the father?”

Tsukishima numbly took the flowers and looked at them, “I don’t have anything to put them in,” he said dumbly. When he glanced back to Kuroo the man was looking down and embarrassed.

“Sorry I hadn’t thought of that. I saw them and,” his voice trailed off with a shrug. He scratched the back of his head, sliding his eyes over to Tsukishima. 

“I think I have a jar in my room,” Daiki offered. Tsukishima nodded and handed him the flowers.

“Only a little water, you don’t want to drown them. Also put the cake in the fridge please?”

“You got it!” Daiki replied as he disappeared into the house. Kuroo started to take his shoes off and placed them properly in front of the step. He was looking around a little.

“We don’t have guest slippers,” Tsukishima said, “Socks are fine,” he wiggled his covered toes for emphasis. Kuroo smirked and nodded. They stood next to the other while Kuroo let his eyes wander around the room. Tsukishima’s eyes were doing some wandering of their own.

The host wasn’t in his usual button-up and dark slacks combo. Instead he had opted for something much more casual, but not at all any less attractive. He had traded his slacks for a pair of well fitting, dark wash ankle skinny jeans. They were held up with a brown fabric belt that also held the tucked white v-neck shirt. He wore a plain black vest that stayed open and a long pendant on a leather cord. His hair wasn’t any less wild, somehow seeming both sexy and endearing at the same time.

“Tsukki?” Kuroo’s voice brought Tsukishima out of his shameless appreciation of the man. 

“Please come in,” Tsukishima said. He then gestured for Kuroo to follow him and he did. Daiki was placing the bouquet on the work desk next to Tsukishima’s computer. 

“Want me to start getting plates ready?” Daiki asked, coming to stand next to them. Kuroo didn’t miss how Daiki was looking him over with a critical eye. For some reason it made Kuroo antsy. 

Tsukishima nodded, “I’ll help. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, Tetsu-san.” Tsukishima motioned to the traditional table on the floor. It seemed out of place in the modern, Western apartment. But Kuroo had seen tatami mats in other rooms off the living room, so maybe the apartment wasn’t as Western as he had previously thought. He settled on the cushion in seiza, hoping that his feet wouldn’t fall asleep. It had been an incredibly long time since he’d had to sit in seiza. So he swallowed and tried to focus on the feeling in his toes.

Daiki scooped rice onto the plate and Tsukishima spooned the beef onto the other side.

“He’s hot,” Daiki said suddenly. It startled Tsukishima so badly that he dropped the spoon he had been using. It clattered against the countertop and he looked at Daiki with wide eyes. Daiki shrugged.

“I can’t believe he brought flowers though. What is this? A k-drama?” Daiki elbowed Tsukishima in the side.

“You’re not old enough to be talking like that.” Tsukishima then got the bowls out for the broth and began to ladle broth into them. Daiki sighed and put the vegetable salad and pickled radishes on plates. They put the smaller dishes on a serving tray that Daiki carried out. Behind him was Tsukishima with the larger plates. Daiki went back into the kitchen to get the chopsticks, hashioki, and tea cups. Tsukishima also went back to get the teapot. The two set the table, Kuroo watching silently. When he saw what the main dish was, he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

“Hayashi rice?” He asked. 

“Is that all right?” Tsukishima’s voice held suppressed worry. 

Kuroo’s smile softened, “I can’t remember the last time I had it. Well, maybe I can.” Tsukishima watched him for a moment before he and Daiki took their places at the small table. Tsukishima sat next to Kuroo and Daiki was across from him. Tsukishima poured out cups of still steaming tea then settled back on his cushion. They clapped their hands together and said thanks. Then the three of them began to eat. 

It wasn’t long into the meal that Daiki started his interrogation. 

“So your name is Tetsu-san?” 

Kuroo looked up, a bit of shredded cabbage dangling from his lips. He sucked it up, chewed it, and took a drink of his tea. It was still hot but he managed to hide his wince. The tip of his tongue throbbed as he spoke.

“That’s my host name and it’s short for Tetsuya.”

“You’re a host?” Daiki shot a glance at his father. Tsukishima had resigned himself to his fate at this point and shrugged. Daiki’s attention returned to Kuroo.

Kuroo nodded, “Easy money, glamorous lifestyle. What better way to enjoy youth?”

“You’re not trying to swindle my dad are you?” 

“Daiki!” Tsukishima hissed. Daiki’s gaze didn’t drop from Kuroo’s. Kuroo smirked and waved Tsukishima off with a dismissive hand. 

“It’s alright Tsukki. No Daiki-kun, I don’t see your dad as a client.”

Daiki’s eyes narrowed slightly, “You’re a pretty shady person.”

“Hm,” Kuroo hummed, “You know usually it’s the parents you get permission from to date. This is an unusual turn of events.”

“My dad’s been hurt enough already. I want to protect him.” Daiki said, steely determination and a hint of shame in his eyes. Kuroo stared back evenly with the boy. He slid his gaze to Tsukishima who looked positively mortified. But there was still a fondness in his eyes when he looked at Daiki.

“I know exactly what you mean Daiki-kun,” Kuroo began, “I have no intention of hurting your father, or you for that matter. I’ve also been hurt by a lot of people in the past and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

His words settled over the table. Both Tsukishima and Daiki stared in awe at him. Kuroo, realizing he’d said something outlandish, laughed in a brittle way. He leaned forward slightly, as if conspiring with Daiki.

“Besides, have you seen how hot Tsukki is? I could never let that go,” 

Unable to stop himself, Daiki started to laugh. He shook his head and shoulders like he was trying to shake off cooties.

“That’s so gross I don’t want to think about my dad like that!” He and Kuroo then laughed. Tsukishima looked on in slight confusion but also a feeling of comfort nestled itself in his stomach. There was something about this scene with the three of them at the table that seemed so _right_. It was like Kuroo was a piece that the puzzle had been missing for years. The thought startled Tsukishima slightly so he tucked it away to analyze later. For now he drank his tea and picked the conversation back up asking about Daiki’s upcoming culture festival. 

Daiki and Kuroo were in a heated debate over American baseball teams versus Japanese ones when Tsukishima got up to get dessert. Dinner had been all but inhaled and there weren’t any leftovers. Tsukishima pulled the cake box out of the fridge. He didn’t recognize the black cat logo on the box so it was probably a bakery near the Imperial Palace. Which meant two things: it was a high quality sweet and it had been expensive. Tsukishima shook his head and opened the box. He froze completely at the sight inside.

Perfectly placed strawberries stood to attention between star swirls of cream on the top of the cake. The white icing covered the cake only to be interrupted by thin slices of strawberries decorating the sides. They looked like they were dancing on the side of the cake. In total disbelief, Tsukishima deconstructed the box so he could cut into the cake. The knife slid effortlessly through the spongy treat. When he pulled the piece out to put it on the plate, layers of cream and even more strawberries were revealed. He thought he would die on the spot. The man that he was oddly attracted to had come to dinner at his home with flowers and a fucking _strawberry shortcake _. Tsukishima had to take a minute to collect his composure. How could one person be so happy? After taking a few breaths, he cut the cake into two more pieces. He grabbed some forks and took the pieces into the dining room on a serving tray.__

__Only when the cake was placed in front of him did Daiki pause in his explaining the merits of some team called “the Mets.” His eyes widened and his smile was bright._ _

__“Wow! He brought your favorite dad!” Daiki said excitedly, not long after digging into the cake, “It’s good too! You can stay forever.”_ _

__“Bought off with a cake? You’re so cheap Daiki,” Tsukishima scoffed. Daiki ignored him in favor of the cake before him. Tsukishima leaned forward to place the cake in front of Kuroo._ _

__Kuroo gently grabbed Tsukishima’s wrist and prevented him from moving away. He moved into Tsukishima’s space._ _

__“Strawberry shortcake is your favorite?” He asked, voice an odd sort of breathless. Tsukishima could only nod. There was a spicy smell that was distinctly Kuroo coming from him. It filled Tsukishima’s senses and turned his body on overdrive. Without noticing it, Tsukishima felt Kuroo’s warm breath scattering across his lips. When had they become so close? Kuroo’s eyes flicked from Tsukishima’s lips back up to his eyes. There was a low-burning fire in those dark depths that—at the moment—Tsukishima wouldn’t mind being consumed by._ _

__The spell was broken when Daiki put his fork noisily down on his plate and sat back. He rubbed his stomach and let out a pleased breath._ _

__“We should have you over more often. Especially if I get to have such good cake!”_ _

__Kuroo released Tsukishima and moved away from him. The sudden loss of his touch left Tsukishima’s wrist feeling strangely cold._ _

__“Then do I have your permission to date your dad, Daiki-sama?” Kuroo asked, an easy grin on his face._ _

__Daiki tensed his lips in a serious manner and nodded once, “You have my permission uh--what’s your family name?”_ _

__“Kuroo, with the “kuro” from black and “o” from tail,” he sent Tsukishima a wink._ _

__“Then, Kuroo-san you have my permission.” Daiki thrust his hand out and Kuroo met it with a firm handshake. Tsukishima sighed and sat down, putting the first bite of cake into his mouth. How he kept himself from moaning, he would never know._ _

__A few minutes later Daiki excused himself to finish some homework he had leaving Kuroo and Tsukishima in the dining room._ _

__“Do you need to get to work?” Tsukishima asked after an awkward silence hung between them._ _

__Kuroo shook his head, “I took tonight off.”_ _

__“Then,” Tsukishima mumbled, “Do you want a beer?”_ _

__“Sure,” Kuroo nodded, “Let me help you clean up some.”_ _

__“Oh, thanks.” Tsukishima stood and bent over to grab some of the plates. Kuroo moved to stand up. When he got to his feet though, he let out a troubled sound. Tsukishima looked up in time to catch Kuroo before he fell over._ _

__“Are you okay?” Tsukishima held him up._ _

__“Feet are asleep,” Kuroo admitted, holding Tsukishima’s shoulders for support, “Give it a second.”_ _

__They stood that way until Kuroo could feel his feet again. Shakily, he grabbed the rest of the plates and followed Tsukishima into the kitchen._ _

__“That was embarrassing.” Kuroo said as he placed the dishes in the sink. Tsukishima would wash them later._ _

__Tsukishima ducked into the fridge pulling two beers out. He handed one to Kuroo who said a little thank you._ _

__“You didn’t have to sit in seiza you know.”_ _

__Kuroo scoffed, “With Daiki-kun grilling me like that? I couldn’t let my guard down for a second!”_ _

__“He likes you,” Tsukishima said, popping the top of his beer and taking a long drink._ _

__Kuroo eyed him from the side, “Do you?”_ _

__Tsukishima paused and thought about it for a moment. He rubbed his thumb across the top of his can. After a second, he looked back at Kuroo._ _

__“Who knows?”_ _

__“Man!” Kuroo let out a long suffering sigh, “You only want to play with my emotions, Tsukki!”_ _

__Tsukishima smirked and walked into the living room, Kuroo with no choice but to follow him. The two settled onto the small couch. Their thighs were lightly touching. Tsukishima turned the television on and found a variety game show. Every now and then Kuroo would laugh, the sound rumbling through him and to Tsukishima through their connected bodies. Tsukishima couldn’t concentrate much on the show, not that he would have in the first place. His eyes slid down to Kuroo’s hand resting on his thigh. Mustering some courage, Tsukishima moved his hand to blanket Kuroo’s. Kuroo looked down at the contact, then up at Tsukishima who refused to meet his eyes. In the flickering light of the television, Kuroo could make out the blush on Tsukishima’s cheeks. A pleased smile found its way to his lips. Slowly, he turned his palm up and easily slid his fingers in the slots between Tsukishima’s. Pink was even painting Kuroo’s cheeks at the action. How long had it been since Kuroo had felt so comfortable with someone?_ _

__A couple minutes passed of the two sitting contentedly like that. Then Kuroo’s grip tightened slightly on Tsukishima’s hand._ _

__“Hey Tsukki?”_ _

__Tsukishima turned his eyes from the television to Kuroo, “Hm?”_ _

__“Can,” Kuroo cleared his throat and looked away for a second. He dipped his head and looked up at Tsukishima, “Can I kiss you?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Tsukishima said when his throat opened enough for him to speak. Kuroo turned his body towards Tsukishima’s, not breaking the contact of their hands between them. With his free hand, Kuroo reached up and gently slid Tsukishima’s glasses from his face._ _

__“Is this okay?” He asked, already drifting forward._ _

__“Yes,” Tsukishima breathed. Their lips met and all other words melted away from them._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual Tuesday update! And a long one too!!! I hope everyone had a nice holiday and good luck to everyone in school finishing up their exams! Also I want to remind everyone that I love you and appreciate you and this story wouldn't be coming along so well without all of you. <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think of it, the story so far, what you think will happen in the future, anything! I love reading comments and I love responding to them!!
> 
> Have a good one!
> 
> SterlingAg


	10. Simmer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the addition of new tags.

“So tomorrow at 8 right? Yeah, I have a place in mind. Mmhmm. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I’ll see you then Tsukki.” Kuroo hung up the phone. Katou looked up from the papers on his desk. Kuroo sank down into the couch in the office.

“I’m guessing things are going well?” Katou asked.

Kuroo’s face split in a wide grin, “Really well.”

“That’s good,” Katou nodded, “This is your first real relationship in a few years. They’ve all been fuck buddies.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Kuroo said with a grimace, “You know, come to think of it. I don’t think I’ve ever been in an actual relationship.”

“Really? Not even in high school?”

Kuroo snorted, “Can you even call high school relationships real?”

“You know what I mean. You’ve never called someone your girlfriend? Or boyfriend?”

“No, I guess I haven’t,” Kuroo let his head fall back on the couch. His eyes stared unseeing at the ceiling.

“It’s hard as a host to have a steady relationship,” Katou said, “There’s a lot of trust needed between two people.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. A host sees so many people in a week how is the lover supposed to feel loved?”

Katou blinked and looked up at Kuroo, “Wait, do you love him?”

“What? No of course not,” Kuroo laughed but the sound was strained, “It’s only been two months since we started dating.”

“I’ve seen it happen,” Katou shrugged. He scribbled some things on the paper on his desk. He glanced at Kuroo over his sunglasses.

“I’m glad you’re happy.” He said and then returned to his paperwork. Kuroo tilted his head to look over his friend. He smiled softly and closed his eyes to rest a little bit before work.

 

Tsukishima straightened his tie. He stood outside Shion and collected himself. Even though he and Kuroo had been together for a few months now, it was still odd to meet him at the club. None of the other hosts hit on him anymore, although there was one with kingly look and air about him that still gave heated looks in Tsukishima’s direction. He was flattered, he supposed. Tsukishima opened the door and walked into the dimly lit corridor. 

“Hello Tsukishima-san!” Greeted the excitable, short flaming haired host. He was young, maybe 22 or so and new to the club. It was only a couple visits before he had chatted Tsukishima’s ear off. The boy didn’t have a host name yet, so it was a little odd always having a conversation with him. Tsukishima was always forced to just address him as “you” and it felt informal and impersonal.

“You’re working again tonight?” Tsukishima asked.

His bright hair moved as he nodded excitedly, “Yup! I’m in charge of menus tonight! Oh, listen! Tetsuya-san set another sales record this month! It’s the highest that the club has ever seen! Ever!”

“Really? I’ll be sure to congratulate him.”

“You aren’t mad are you, Tsukishima-san?” He asked, concern creasing his brows.

Tsukishima stopped looking for Kuroo and turned his attention back to the boy, “Mad?”

“Well,” The boy seemed embarrassed and unsure, “To make that much money—I mean—“

“If you’re wondering if I think Kuroo is faithful or not,” Tsukishima said slowly, “I have considered it.”

The boy flinched at his words.

Tsukishima shook his head and continued, “But I know he has been. He’s not smart enough to cheat.”

He looked confused and opened his mouth when a hand clapped on his shoulder. He looked up to see his manager.

“Here to pick up the trash?” Katou asked, “You can wait in my office. Tetsu will be a bit.”

“Thank you, Katou-san,” Tsukishima nodded. “Good luck tonight.”

“Of course! See you later Tsukishima-san! Ah! Welcome to Club Shion!” His attention was taken by a customer coming in the door.

Tsukishima followed Katou to his office which was a little off the entrance. It went back some and was the door next to the host locker rooms. Katou held the door open for Tsukishima who was close behind.

“Date night?” Katou asked casually. He pulled a cigarette out, “Do you mind—?”

Tsukishima shook his head, “Go ahead.”

Katou nodded and lit the cigarette. The smoke puffed from his mouth and disappeared in the room. 

“Any special plans?”

“Not that I know of. I’m sure Kuroo-san has something up his sleeve.”

“Doesn’t he always?”

“It’s our anniversary so I would assume he’s going to try and sweep me off my feet,” Tsukishima sighed.

“Metaphorically or literally?”

Tsukishima chuckled, “It could go either way.”

The two sat in silence while Katou smoked. He stubbed the cylinder out in the ash tray next to the couch. 

“So things are good between you two then?” Katou asked.

“I would think so.”

“Tetsu wouldn’t quit talking about that culture festival. Raved about it for days.”

Tsukishima laughed, “I have never seen so many middle-aged women around one man before.” 

“It’s a gift,” Katou agreed with a nod.

“He talks about you a lot.”

Katou raised an eyebrow, the thin stripe of hair barely visible over the sunglasses, “Yeah?”

“You must be good friends.”

Katou leaned back and put his arms along the back of the couch, “We’ve been through a lot together.”

“He’s told me a bit. He helped you get the club back on its feet right?”

“Among other things,” Katou mumbled, “Has he told you anything else?”

Tsukishima gave him a suspicious look, “Not really. He doesn’t like to talk about his past that much.”

The manager sighed, a crease appearing between his brows. He didn’t look at Tsukishima as he sank into the overstuffed couch in the office. He stared at the floor and even though sunglasses still adorned his face, he seemed to be in a faraway place.

“He’s come a long way,” he mumbled. 

 

“I always take care of you Tetsuya,” Eito said, sipping on his champagne. The arm he had draped across Kuroo’s shoulder tightened slightly. Kuroo hummed in agreement, not particularly paying attention. His body felt warm from the alcohol. Eito’s smile sharpened predatorily. The breath on Kuroo’s ear was hot when Eito spoke.

“Shall I care for you even more?” He whispered, lips brushing against Kuroo’s skin. Katou looked up from pouring his client a drink to see Eito leading Kuroo out of the club. It wasn’t uncommon for hosts to offer pillow service, especially ones just starting out. They needed to build a solid client base to get themselves on the menu to be requested. But Katou hadn’t really thought Kuroo would be the type to do it. Then again, he didn’t really know the guy either.

Katou and Kuroo had become employed at Shion around the same time. They were also fairly close in age with Kuroo being 19 and Katou having just turned 21. Compared to the other hosts, they were the youngest with the next youngest being 24. Even that was pushing it in the world of hosts and Shion was on the verge of bankruptcy due to their older staff. It was true that the pros of having an older staff was experience and knowledge, but the lack of fresh faces meant no crowd was being pulled into the club. The manager at the time was trying to recruit younger, pretty boys in order to draw new customers to the club. Although, 19 seemed a bit young even by those standards.

It was a few weeks after Katou noticed Kuroo leaving with Eito. The two were changing into their clothing for the evening with some of the other hosts. Mostly they stayed to themselves being the youngest they weren’t respected as much as they could have been. Katou glanced over at Kuroo who had been silent since he arrived. Even with their low profiles among the other hosts, they generally were pleasant with each other. If you didn’t have at least one ally, it would be impossible to survive in any environment. Katou frowned when he saw some marks on Kuroo’s arms that looked like dark bug bites. But they were too methodically placed along the inside of his arm near the elbow. A sense of dread settled in Katou’s stomach. He closed his locker softly and moved to stand next to Kuroo. The boy hadn't noticed him approach and jumped when Katou put his hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. Katou’s frown deepened when he realized Kuroo was shivering.

“Tetsuya, are you alright?” He asked softly so not to draw the attention of those around them. Kuroo moved away from him slightly and buttoned his cuffs. Katou noticed the sleeves barely covered the light bruises on his wrists.

“I’m fine.” Kuroo mumbled, eyes down. He messed with his hair, trying to get it to lay some kind of flat. He gave up a moment later and just fluffed it back to its bed hair state. His eyes flicked back to Katou who still stood there.

“You can come to me if you need anything, you know that right?” Katou whispered. Kuroo froze for a second before plastering an easy smile on his face. The grin didn’t reach his eyes.

“You worry too much, Hocchan!” He slapped him on the back as he walked around him. Katou watched him leave the dressing room and let out a heavy sigh. Something was definitely not okay with Kuroo but he didn’t want to push him. So Katou adjusted the pendant that hung down his torso and twisted the diamond in his ear then exiting himself.

That night Kuroo left the club with Eito once more. Katou was at the bar helping the manager with inventory and stocking.

“Hey manager,” Katou began, “What do you know about that customer?”

The manager looked up just as Eito disappeared around the main entrance. He shook his head and looked back down at the clipboard in his head.

“Better leave that one alone, Hakase. He’s what they call a painful customer.”

Katou frowned, “What’s a painful customer?”

“The not so nice, troublesome clients that stroll into a club every now and then.”

“If he’s a known painful then why is he still allowed in here?”

The manager put his clipboard down and turned his entire body to Katou, “Hakase. You know that the safety of every single one of my employees is my utmost concern. With that, I am still running a business here. That customer is one of the highest buying clients we have right now. It would put the club in a really tight spot if we didn’t have him.”

Katou looked down at his hands. He then shook his head, “What if he hurts Tetsuya?”

“The second Tetsuya tells me that he’s been hurt, I’ll take action immediately. No one hurts my hosts and gets away with it. Not even a rich bastard like Eito. But Tetsuya would have to come to me first and he hasn’t.”

“Even though he’s offering pillow service?”

The manager shrugged, “To each his own. As long as he’s safe about it, it’s no importance to me what he does work wise outside of this building.” He put his hand on Katou’s shoulder, “You’re a good friend Hakase.” Then he walked back into the stock room, leaving Katou to mull over the information he’d just been given. 

The weeks continued without incident. Although Katou was keeping an eye on Kuroo. The male became more withdrawn and restless over the time. He would frequently lick his lips which were slowly becoming cracked. Katou noticed more times than he’d like to admit Kuroo scratching idly at the crook of his elbow. Katou had his suspicions and Kuroo’s actions were confirming them. What could he do? It wasn’t like Katou could just walk up and ask Kuroo “are you using drugs?” Or even worse “is he making you take drugs?” That wasn’t something one could just casually bring up in conversation. 

When they were changing to go home, Katou was fingering a card that he’d brought with him. It was a business card for a rehabilitation center in Osaka. It was one of the best centers in the nation and promised results. He was just going to slide it into Kuroo’s locker when he wasn’t looking. But he wouldn’t get that chance. Kuroo pulled his jacket out of the locker. He pulled it onto his shoulders and shook it out, causing something to fall from his pocket. Katou looked up at the hollow sound of plastic bouncing off tile floor. A little orange lid rolled to a stop right at his feet. It was a syringe cap. Kuroo’s face paled and Katou slowly bent over to pick it up. None of the other hosts had noticed. 

Fear and anger all bubbled in Katou’s blood. He held the cap up in front of him.

“What the hell is this?” He hissed.

Kuroo didn’t meet his eyes.

“Kuroo,” Katou said again, “What the _hell_ is this?” He shouted. This caused the hosts in the locker room to look towards the commotion.Kuroo snatched the lid out of Katou’s hand, quickly stashing it in his coat pocket.

“It’s none of your business,” he growled.

“Look—“

“No you look!” Kuroo jammed his finger into Katou’s chest, “Keep your nose out of my life! What I do on my own time is my own business. Not yours. I didn’t ask for your help—I never wanted your help!” He yelled. His grin turned tight and wicked, “What you think we’re friends or something? Well I’ve got a newsflash _Hocchan_ we’re not.”

Silence hung in the air. All eyes were on the two young men as they stared the other down. After a minute, Katou snorted. He shook his head and bit his bottom lip in annoyance and irritation. He chuckled to himself once and nodded slightly.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “Who’d wanna be friends with a bastard like you?” He spat out. Kuroo visibly flinched and his fists clenched at his sides. Katou dug in his pocket and slapped the card down in Kuroo’s locker. Then he stomped out of the locker room. Kuroo looked at the card, quickly recognizing the service. He sighed heavily and looked up. The hosts were staring unashamed. Kuroo snarled at them and slammed his locker shut. Then he moved quickly out of the locker room.

Katou didn’t sleep at all that night. He was never one for confrontation. Although he was used to caring too much about others or getting invested in one-sided relationships. It was a bit of a blindside though. He had really thought that he and Kuroo were growing some kind of friendship past work acquaintances. He sighed into the beer he was drinking. Of course he had just gone ahead and gotten all excited by himself. How typical. Putting his glass down after drinking nearly half his beer, Katou stared out the bar’s window. There were still quite a few hours before he needed to go into work. He was considering just calling in sick. He wasn’t requested that much anyway so it wasn’t like he would miss much business. As he considered calling in his eyes fell on a familiar duo. Eito was leading Kuroo into a seedy looking hotel across the street. Katou watched as the two disappeared inside. He growled to himself and called for another beer.

Kuroo’s head was already fuzzy from the drink he had drank earlier. He barely registered the scratchy sheets beneath him. The bed was lumpy, but he didn’t care. He was just thinking about his next fix. His eyes slid to Eito who was standing to the side. He was pulling a few prepared syringes from his bag. 

“Why are you doing this?” Kuroo slurred. It had been on his mind for a while now. 

“Hm?” Eito turned and walked to the bed. His hands trailed down Kuroo’s stomach, resting on his bare thigh. “What do you mean, Tetsu?” He leaned over and began to kiss bruises into Kuroo’s skin.

“The sex and the drugs, requesting me every time. Why would you do so much for me?”

Eito tugged his tie from around his neck and tied it tightly above Kuroo’s elbow. “Do you think you’re special Tetsu?” He asked. Kuroo blinked and frowned.

“Why else go to all this trouble?” Kuroo mumbled. The businessman sat up. He uncapped the syringe, flicking the cylinder a couple times. He pushed the plunger up to get any air bubbles out, a small bead of the liquid gathering at the end of the needle. His fingers were hot as they pressed on Kuroo’s forearm. When he found the vein he pushed the needle slowly into his flesh. The familiar bite made Kuroo wince. Eito licked his lips as he looked down at Kuroo below him.

“I’m always this kind.” He said. Then he pushed the plunger and a few breaths later Kuroo’s body was filled with euphoria. 

Katou hiccuped and finished his beer. He paid his tab and stumbled out of the bar. He would need to pull himself together if he was going to get to work. If he showed up visibly smashed it would dowse any chances he had of being requested. For a second he just took in the cool evening air. The brick of the building was cold against his back as he leaned there. Looking across the street he frowned as he saw Eito exit the hotel. He was alone. Alarm bells started blaring in Katou’s head. Something wasn’t right. He darted across the road to the best of his ability. Shakily he planted himself in front of Eito who frowned in disgust down at him.

“Excuse me,” Eito said, trying to get around him. Katou’s hand shot out and grabbed the man by his open collar.

“Whaddya do with Tetsu?” He said around a swollen tongue. 

Eito’s brow raised, “Who might you be? Another of his customers?” 

“I’m his friend!” Katou hissed a little too loudly. Eito grinned smugly at him. He plucked Katou’s grip from him and stepped back. He straightened his collar.

“Impossible. That boy doesn’t have friends,” Eito began to walk away. Katou grabbed onto his sleeve.

“Where is he!” He yelled. Eito sneered and shook Katou off, causing him to stumble and fall against the building.

“How unsightly. Well I would hate to take any business from him. He’s in room 214 if you must see him so badly.” Then with a final glare, Eito walked away from Katou and the hotel. 

Katou forced his legs to move as fast and as straight as they could. The hallway spun as he hurried down it. He nearly fell backwards down the stairs to the second floor. His grip was knuckle white when he turned the doorknob on room 214. The bastard had left it unlocked.

“Tetsu? Hey Tetsu,” Katou called. He came into the room and froze. Kuroo laid on the bed unmoving. His wrists were tied above his head to the headboard. A small trickle of blood ran down his arm. Where his skin wasn’t red or bruising, he looked as white as the sheets he laid on. Katou moved over and untied Kuroo’s wrists. Still the man didn’t stir. 

“Tetsu wake up. Talk to me.” Katou instructed. Panic started to bubble inside him. His drunkenness cleared by the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He shook Tetsu by the shoulders.

“Hey! Hey!” He leaned over and his stomach dropped. Kuroo wasn’t breathing. Katou shook his head.

“No, no, no,” He whispered over and over. His fingers shook as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Quickly he dialed emergency services.

“Emergency services,” the operator answered, “What is your emergency?”

“I need an ambulance! My-my friend,” Katou choked, “He’s not breathing. Oh god, what if he’s dead? No no he can’t be dead!”

“Sir calm down. I’m sending a medical team your way right now. They’ll be there soon. Where are you?”

“I’m in room 214 of the Natsukage Hotel. Please help me! I don’t—god he can’t be dead.”

“Sir everything is going to be okay. I’ll stay on the line with you until the authorities arrive. Can you tell me your friends condition?”

“H-He’s not breathing. He’s really really pale. I-I don’t know how much he took.”

“How much he took? Sir, are there drugs involved?”

“Yes. It’s heroin. I don’t—the syringes are still here.”

“Don’t touch anything.”

“Can I help him?”

“You’ve helped him by calling us. Medical will be there in just a minute.”

Katou never took his eyes off Kuroo. The male never moved even once. The dread inside of Katou welled up and spilled over onto his cheeks. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

“I should have done something. Oh god,” he whimpered, collapsing on the floor.

“Sir please hang on. Medical has just arrived.”

As if on cue, Katou heard hurried footsteps exiting from the staircase. They thundered in the room. Two of the men dressed in white rushed to Kuroo. Katou couldn’t tell what they were doing. A third man knelt down by Katou and helped him stand up.

“Are you alright?” He asked Katou. Katou nodded numbly.

“Don’t let him die,” Katou whispered. The man watched his coworkers bring a gurney into the room. Kuroo was transferred to it, a sheet draped over his body.

“He’s in good hands,” the medic reassured Katou, “Will you come to the hospital with us? We’ll need you to answer some questions.”

Katou nodded again, following the swift footed medic from the hotel room that smelled like sex and desperation.

 

Katou came back to the present with a heavy sigh. He turned his gaze on Tsukishima who was eyeing him curiously.

“You’re really good for him, you know.” Katou said, “I haven’t seen him this happy in a very long time. Take care of him, yeah?”

Tsukishima blinked. He cleared his throat and looked at the floor, “I plan on it.”

They both looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching.

“Sorry Tsukki!” Kuroo yelled as he threw the door open. He strode into the room and wrapped a hand around Tsukishima’s waist. Like it was the most natural thing in the world, he pulled Tsukishima to him and tilted his face to kiss the man’s forehead.

“Did you wait long?” Kuroo asked.

Tsukishima shook his head, trying to ignore the blush starting on his cheek, “No. Katou-san was keeping me company.”

As if just noticing the man, Kuroo looked at Katou who was sitting on the couch. Katou gave him a mock salute.

“Yo.”

Kuroo narrowed his eyes at him and his hold on Tsukishima tightened a little, “He wasn’t trying to seduce you, was he Tsukki?”

“Seduce me—“ Tsukishima squawked. He hit Kuroo on the head making the man yelp in pain. He pouted and rubbed his head. Tsukishima shook his head and sighed.

Katou chuckled, “Best of luck to you Tsukishima-san.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Tsukishima tried to glare at Kuroo but there was no heat to his gaze, “Didn’t you say something about a reservation?”

“Crap! We gotta go!” Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima’s hand, “Gotta go Hocchan!”

The bald man gave another wave as the two disappeared in a flurry out the door. For a minute he just sat in the silence of the room. Then he nodded a couple times to himself. A smile curled up the corner of his lip. He kicked his feet up and laid across the couch. His arms pillowed his head as he stared at the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Tenth chapter! This is crazy! Well now we know a little bit more about where Kuroo has built himself up from. Thank you all for reading! Please feel free to comment! I would love to hear what you're all thinking!
> 
> Kudos and bookmarks are appreciated! Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an update!
> 
> Much much love,  
> SterlingAg


	11. Body Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All I want is you tonight / All I want is you / 'Cause I know your face / And I know your hands / And I know your breath / And I know your lips / And all I want is / All I want is you tonight " All I want by Daniella Mason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please notice any changes to ratings or tags.

Tsukishima gave his coat to the man taking coats at the entrance. His eyes turned up to look at the sweeping crystal chandelier that sparkled like starlight. Kuroo straightened his sleeves and moved his attention to the hostess. She smiled at him.

“Hello Kuroo-sama,” she greeted with a bow, “Your table is ready for you.”

He returned her smile, “Thank you Yumemi-san.” Then he walked into the dining room, beckoning Tsukishima to follow him. Tsukishima did so numbly, taking in the entire restaurant.

The restaurant, The Sun’s Mistress, was done entirely in champagnes and creams. The furniture was modern and sleek. Tables were distanced in such a way that there was privacy among the diners. A few more smaller versions of the chandelier in the entrance foyer lining the dining area. The bar was done in a dark oak, shelves lined in glass and soft backlights. The air of the whole place felt warm and inviting. It was relaxing and romantic. Tsukishima felt out of place among the name brand suits and Tiffany diamonds sitting at the other tables.

Their table was right next to the large floor to ceiling windows. The tops were softened with billowing cream curtains in sloping crescents. Accents of gold were all over as well. Napkins held with gold circlets, single candle holders of molded gold, and gold rims on the wine glasses. Two waiters held out their chairs for them to sit down. Tsukishima mumbled a thank you and menus were handed to both of them.

Their waiter smiled and bowed when he came to stand next to their table, “I’m Maseru and I’ll be your waiter this evening,” he bowed again, “Can I start you gentlemen with an appetizer or a bottle of one of our fine wines?”

Kuroo nodded, “An order of oysters on the half shell for now.”

“I’ll get that in right away sir,” Maseru said and then made for the kitchen.

“Get anything you want Tsukki,” Kuroo smiled looking at Tsukishima.

Tsukishima glanced down at the menu. The first thing he noticed were the difficult to pronounce foreign items. The second thing he noticed was there were no prices listed. A small line appeared between his brow and he tried to keep himself from frowning.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” Tsukishima mumbled. Kuroo tilted his head and he looked confused.

“It’s no trouble,” He reached over and grabbed Tsukishima’s hand. He flipped it over and idly ran his thumb across Tsukishima’s palm, a motion he had learned early on eased the blonde, “If I want to take my boyfriend out to a nice dinner on our anniversary, then I’m going to.”

When Tsukishima didn’t respond, Kuroo looked up. Tsukishima seemed dumbfounded and a blush had settled onto his cheeks. He pulled his hand quickly from Kuroo’s grasp and placed it in his lap. He frowned, but the blush remained.

Tsukishima cleared his throat, “Yeah well, you did this all your own.”

Kuroo’s grin brightened, “Have you decided what you want?”

“Uh,” Tsukishima glanced down, “The smoked duck probably.”

“Good choice! I’ll get the lamb rack then,” Kuroo nodded. He flipped the menu over and looked at the wine section. He frowned.

“Choices not to your liking, oh king?” Tsukishima joked.

Kuroo stuck his tongue out at him, “No. Let’s see it’s not,” his voice trailed off. He raised his hand slightly and not a moment later their waiter was back.

“Are you gentleman ready to order?” Maseru asked.

“I will have the herb-crusted roast lamb rack.”

Maseru nodded, “Very good sir. And what will you have?”

“Oh, uh, the smoked duck with wild mushrooms?” Tsukishima stuttered.

“A wonderful choice sir,” Maseru jotted the items down.

“And Maseru-kun?” Kuroo brought his attention back, “I don’t see it on the selection but do you have a bottle of Mauro Veglio Barolo Castelletto?”

“We have a 2011 bottle sir. Would you like me to open it?”

“Yes please, on the double,” Kuroo collected Tsukishima’s menu and handed it to the waiter.

“Right away,” then Maseru disappeared once again.

“Tsukki, your chin’s on the floor,” Kuroo chuckled. Tsukishima blinked and closed his mouth. Kuroo chuckled again and winked at Tsukishima.

“Impressed yet?”

“More curious of how you know so much about wines.”

“Ah well,” Kuroo sat back in his chair. He glanced out the window for a second and looked uncomfortable. Tsukishima knew that hesitant stance. Kuroo was not one for modesty. Whenever he had the chance, he would brag about himself and how great he was. It was an odd humble sort of bragging. However, there was one exception to that behavior.

“You learned it at the club, didn’t you?” Tsukishima asked, voice gentle. Kuroo didn’t like to talk about work. He had told Tsukki it was because he never wanted to mix business with pleasure again. Tsukishima never pressed the issue when the look in Kuroo’s eyes when he referenced that time made Tsukishima want to hurt whoever had hurt Kuroo.  
“You can talk about it,” Tsukishima said. Kuroo glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. A small smile curled at the corner of his lips. When he looked back at Tsukishima, his expression was bashful and still a little embarrassed.

“There was a client I had once,” he started, “Her husband had bought a winery in Italy when they had first gotten married. So of course he would have her sample the products that came out of it.” He laughed, “She knew so much about wine and she absolutely _hated_ it. But every time she came in she would buy a bottle and tell me everything about it.”

“What was her name?”

“Mimiko,” he nodded, “Her name was Mimiko.”

Tsukishima paused a moment, “You said once? She doesn’t come in anymore?”

“She passed away a couple years ago,” he swallowed hard and his smile tightened.

“Did you go to her services?”

Kuroo shook his head, “Of course I didn’t.”

“Of course?”

“She was successful, had a family—she has grandchildren. If I went and people asked me how I knew her what would I say? She visited me once a week at a host club? Tsukki I couldn’t do that to her.” He shook his head, “I couldn’t do that.”

Tsukishima frowned, “Kuroo-san—“

“Your bottle sirs,” Maseru said, appearing suddenly, “Shall I pour it for you?” Another waiter came up and placed a bucket with ice on the table. Kuroo stared at the bottle like he was looking at a ghost.

“Yes, if you will,” Tsukishima replied. Maseru nodded. He then uncorked the bottle at the table before pouring a small amount in Kuroo’s glass. Kuroo came back to himself, picking the stem of the glass up with three fingers. He swirled it slowly to let it breathe before taking a sip. His lips twitched and for a second Tsukishima thought he might cry. Instead he nodded to Maseru.

“This will be perfect,” Kuroo mumbled. Maseru went on to pour generous amounts into their glasses.

“I’ll check on your oysters, please enjoy.”

Kuroo stared at the glass, swirling it mindlessly. Tsukishima picked up his glass, holding the stem between his ring and middle finger. Somehow it didn’t look as elegant as when Kuroo had. When the liquid hit his tongue his eyes widened.

“How is it?” Kuroo asked, a smug grin on his face.

Tsukishima looked at his glass, the dark red, almost a brick orange liquid glinted in the soft light, “It’s like I’m drinking roses and tar.”

Kuroo laughed so hard that a few people looked towards their table. He calmed himself after a minute, apologizing to those around them. Just then a waiter came up and put the platter of oysters over ice on their table. Tsukishima stared at them. He picked one up slowly and looked at it.

“How do you eat these?” He murmured.

“One of two ways.” Kuroo picked up an oyster, “You can either pull it up on a fork. Or you can just suck it out.” He demonstrated the second method, slurping loudly.

“That’s incredibly obnoxious.” Tsukishima deadpanned.

Kuroo smirked, “I know. I love it. Go ahead, try it.”

“Kuroo-san, I don’t think here—“

“Just do it Tsukki!”

Tsukishima sighed and brought the shell to his lips. When he looked at Kuroo, the man gave him an expectant eyebrow raise. Without a further adieu, Tsukishima slurped the oyster into his mouth. The sound was absolutely obscene but the oyster was delicious. Kuroo grinned.

“What was that? That was the weakest oyster eating I’ve ever seen.” Kuroo picked another up and slurped even louder. Tsukishima smirked back at him and took his challenge. The two then competed to see who could slurp the loudest and in the most disgusting way. A woman at the table next to them cleared her throat loudly and pointedly at them. When they were caught with their game, they smirked at each other and laughed.

Tsukishima sipped at his wine, their oysters gone and main courses to come out soon. He was gazing out the window at the twinkling city lights when he felt something brush against his leg. Startled slightly he jumped. Kuroo sniggered and Tsukishima sent him a glare. There was another brush and Tsukishima identified it as Kuroo’s foot.

“Kuroo-san,” he hissed. Kuroo’s smirk only grew and his foot travelled farther up. Tsukishima drank more of his wine to hide his blush.

“Here we are gentlemen,” Maseru suddenly appeared, “Herb-crusted roast lamb rack,” he placed the plate in front of Kuroo, “And the smoked duck with wild mushrooms. Enjoy.”

Kuroo smirked as he watched Tsukishima take the first bite. He kicked Kuroo under the table when he laughed at his surprised expression. That only made him laugh harder.

 

Kuroo dropped the keycard on the counter by the door. Tsukishima excused his entrance, as he always did, and took his shoes off. He turned them around and placed them properly along the step in the entryway. Kuroo held his hand out and Tsukishima handed him his coat. They were hung carefully on the pegs. Tsukishima followed Kuroo into the apartment.

It was still the same as when Tsukishima had woken up there that first day. Well, other than the picture that was haphazardly taped on the wall. It was of Kuroo, Tsukishima, and Daiki from when they had gone to an amusement park together. The picture had been snapped when the three of them had been in the haunted house. Tsukishima was as pale as a sheet and his frown had never been deeper. Kuroo was laughing his ass off cowering behind Tsukishima. Daiki, the only brave one, had thrown his arms across the two older men, shielding them from whatever danger was before them. Tsukishima swore that if Kuroo bought the picture he would break up with him. Kuroo had only laughed and bought three copies—a photo, a t-shirt, and a keychain.

“Do you want the bath first?” Kuroo asked, coming into the bedroom.

Tsukishima shook his head, “Go ahead. Can I borrow a shirt?”

“Sure,” Kuroo went into his closet and pulled a red shirt from a cubby. He tossed it at Tsukishima who caught it easily. He opened it and looked at it. There were two characters on the top left.

“Nekomata?” Tsukishima read.

“High school,” Kuroo called from the bathroom. The sound of water running sounded before Kuroo closed the bathroom door.

Tsukishima unbuttoned his shirt and moved to the closet. He grabbed a hanger and hung his shirt on it. Then he grabbed a pair of sweatpants that were tossed on top of the cubbies. He folded his dress pants and placed them in the spot the sweatpants had been. The pants sat low on his hips since they were Kuroo’s who was a little wider at the hips than Tsukishima. When he sank into the bed he exhaled heavily. The wine mulled about in his head and he felt content. Turning on his side, he looked at the shirt in his hands. His fingers idly traced the characters that were fading from the fabric. Heavy eyelids betrayed him and he dozed off, shirt clung tightly to his chest.

Someone gently pushed Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Tsukki?” They whispered. Tsukishima easily identified the voice as Kuroo’s. Of course it would be since they were in his apartment. He blinked open his eyes, glasses digging into the side of his face. Kuroo grinned at him.

“Hey,” he mumbled.

“Hey,” Tsukishima yawned and sat up, the object he had been clinging to pooling on the bed.

“You know,” Kuroo chuckled, “Most people put the shirt on before they go to sleep.”

Tsukishima frowned and looked down. A blush spread across his cheeks as he realized he had dozed off curled around the shirt Kuroo had given him.

“I had a bit much to drink,” Tsukishima stammered, “I’m drowsy.”

“Don’t worry. I appreciate the view.” Kuroo winked at him then turned to the closet. Tsukishima agreed with him on that note. Kuroo only had a towel wrapped around his hips. His eyes watched the glints of water droplets as they languidly slipped down the lines of his back. Tsukishima’s tongue darted out to wet his lips.

“Kuroo-san?”

“Hm?” Kuroo looked over his shoulder, “What’s up?’

“Can I stay tonight?”

Kuroo blinked, “Sure. I mean, I was already thinking you were.”

“Yeah but,” Tsukishima let out a quick breath, “I’ll take a bath now then.” He stood from the bed, shirt clutched in his hand. The door to the bathroom closed gently behind him. Steam still thickened the air of the room from Kuroo’s use. Tsukishima swallowed hard and removed the rest of his clothing before washing himself off and sinking into the warm tub.

He let out a larger breath and submerged himself up to his nose. Bubbles surfaced as he exhaled. Tsukishima would be spending the night at Kuroo’s. It wouldn’t have been the first time that the two had stayed over with each other. But for some reason things just felt a little different. Maybe Tsukishima was getting nervous by himself. There was no reason for him to feel anxious or worried about things. Even if they did anything, Kuroo would be nothing but gracious to Tsukishima. Wouldn’t he? Tsukishima exhaled completely and sank low enough to cover his entire head.

Kuroo looked up at the opening of the bathroom door. Tsukishima was wearing the shirt he borrowed from him and a pair of boxer-briefs that he’d left there a few visits ago. Lazily he ruffled his hair with the towel. Kuroo smirked and put down the book he had been reading.

“If you don’t dry it properly you’ll catch a cold,” Kuroo said. He sat up and patted the bed in front of him. Tsukishima rolled his eyes but sat with his back to Kuroo on the spot he opened. Kuroo ruffled the towel across Tsukishima’s hair. After fluffing it up, Kuroo tossed the towel into the laundry hamper. Kuroo pushed his hands into Tsukishima’s hair, spiking the damp tips slightly.

“There we go!” Kuroo grinned. Tsukishima leaned back against Kuroo’s chest and hummed appreciatively. He tilted his head to rest on Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Wow,” Kuroo mumbled, “Your eyelashes are really long.”

Tsukishima’s eyebrow raised slightly, “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” Kuroo nodded, “Can’t see them usually ‘cause of your glasses.”

“I guess so,” Tsukishima’s eyes slid down to Kuroo’s mouth. He noticed and those lips stretched into a lazy grin. Then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Tsukishima’s own lips.

It was easy and comfortable between them. Kuroo’s body heat spread across Tsukishima’s back and made him feel protected. Tsukishima moved his hand to cup Kuroo’s cheek. Kuroo hummed, the sound making Tsukishima shiver. Two arms snaked around Tsukishima’s torso, pulling him closer against Kuroo’s chest. By no means was it the first time the two had kissed so passionately. Although the electricity shooting through Tsukishima’s body and the heat pooling in his stomach said something was a little bit different this time.

Kuroo pulled away from Tsukishima, panting hot breaths across his lips.

“Is this okay?” Kuroo breathed. Tsukishima swallowed hard and nodded.

“Can we..?” Tsukishima paused, looking away. He felt hazy and open, a sensation he had never felt with anyone else.

Kuroo’s eyes looked over Tsukishima’s face for a moment. The fingers that carefully moved up to brush against Tsukishima’s cheek were warm and gentle.

“Are you sure?” He whispered.

Tsukishima tried to tell himself the blush on his cheeks was due to the arousal in his body. To set aside the embarrassment and anxiety swirling in his mind was harder than he had thought it would be.

“I—” he took a shaky breath, “I want to.”

The silence that hung between them was charged with emotions. Mostly excitement and anticipation. Not a moment passed before Kuroo’s gaze softened. Reverently, he pressed his lips to Tsukishima’s forehead.

“Okay,” he whispered, “Okay.” He exhaled slowly after inhaling deeply. The fingers that skirted under Tsukishima’s shirt were shaking slightly.

“Kuroo-san?”

“Sorry,” he laughed softly, “I don’t want to mess this up.”

Tsukishima turned his face to tenderly kiss Kuroo, “You could never mess this up.”

Kuroo responded with a kiss, putting both hands on Tsukishima’s face. It was as if all the desire that had been between the two was suddenly pouring out. Like the floodgates had been opened and the water could finally spill out. Kuroo moved his lips to bite and suck along Tsukishima’s neck and shoulder, one hand migrating up under the shirt while the other played with the waistband of his underwear.

A shudder tore through Tsukishima’s body when Kuroo palmed at his enflaming sex. Even through the fabric, Kuroo’s hand was teasing him to fullness. Tsukishima’s mind was pulled in so many different directions. On one hand, he was feeling the friction of Kuroo’s hand against his heat. While on the other, Kuroo was slowly driving him to madness with the feather light touches over his torso and across his surprisingly sensitive nipples.

Kuroo snuck his hand under the waistband to slide heat against heat. Tsukishima sighed at the contact, the tension draining out of his body only to be built up once more. Kuroo wrapped his thumb and forefinger around the base to tug Tsukishima’s length. At the same time he lightly pinched his nipple and bit the shell of his ear softly. A stuttered gasp melted into a moan and Tsukishima covered his mouth with his palm.

Hot breath blew over where Kuroo had just bit, “You like that?” he purred. His thumb swirled across the head and drew out a bead of precum resting at the slit. Tsukishima panted against his palm. The heat in his body now fogged his brain and he could hardly focus on more than the points of contact between the two of them.

“Fuck,” he breathed out around a groan. Kuroo paused at the sound and had to collect himself. He needed to stay calm for this. There was no need to rush and he wanted to give Tsukishima the attention he deserved. Kuroo wanted to learn the lines of his body thoroughly and commit the feel of him to memory. Taste each inch of skin and selfishly swallow every sound from Tsukishima’s lips.

“Lift your hips for me?” Kuroo whispered. Tsukishima obeyed and helped Kuroo push his underwear from his body. They fell unceremoniously on the floor, soon followed by the shirt that was quickly shucked. Naked and vulnerable, Tsukishima felt his anxiety slam into him. It gripped him so suddenly he thought he would be sick. Kuroo most have noticed the balminess of his skin because he stopped.

“Tsukki?” He mumbled.

“Sorry,” Tsukishima choked out, “I’m—“

“Scared?” Kuroo supplied.

Tsukishima shook his head jerkily.

Kuroo smiled softly, perhaps apprehensively, “Nervous?”

Tsukishima nodded to that after mulling it over for a minute.

“Hey, look at me.”

Slowly Tsukishima twisted his body to face Kuroo fully. His expression was kind and open, still clothed yet just as exposed as Tsukishima felt. Kuroo lifted his hand to cup Tsukishima’s face, thumb gently gliding over his cheek.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that right?”

Tsukishima nodded.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Kuroo asked. Something in his eyes looked worried. Tsukishima nodded again, heat on his cheeks intensifying.

“I need to hear you say it out loud, Tsukki.”

He swallowed thickly, “Yes.”

Kuroo’s lips twitched, threatening to smile. He kissed Tsukishima’s forehead, “I want you to feel good. So tell me okay? Let me know if you’re enjoying it or if we should try something else. Alright?”

“Okay.”

Relief flooded through Kuroo because the stiffness in his shoulders lessened. A breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding pushed out from his lips. A bit of laughter bubbled up inside him which he forcefully quelled. Instead he kissed Tsukishima, the feeling reassuring and grounding. Here he was, in bed with someone who cared about him and that he loved.

The thought struck Kuroo abruptly and his lips stilled. Was he in love with Tsukishima? He didn’t even know how to pronounce the man’s given name. Yet, what was in a name anyway? Perhaps these emotions floating about in his heart could some day turn to love. In that exact moment though, Kuroo wasn’t so sure. He knew that he cared about Tsukishima and he was happy with him. Maybe that was enough.

“Kuroo-san?” Tsukishima said. The sound of his voice brought Kuroo back. He grinned sheepishly and gave him a peck.

“Sorry. Just thinking about how cute you sound when you moan.”

That earned him a playful punch to the chest, making his laughter finally spill out. They wrestled for a second, Kuroo getting some pinches and tickles to Tsukishima’s side. Tsukishima retaliated which only made Kuroo’s laughter louder. Then he wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s slender waist and flipped him onto his back. Breathless, Kuroo loomed over him, caging his head with his hands. His shit-eating smirk spread across his lips. Effortlessly, he pulled his shirt up over his head and dropped it to join the other clothing on the floor. He watched pleased as Tsukishima’s pupils blossomed with lust, nearly consuming the honey amber of the irises.

Kuroo ran his hand across his stomach and up into his hair to rest at the back of his head. His body arched and he preened at the way Tsukishima’s eyes were taking in every inch of his toned musculature.

“Like what you see, Tsukki?” He rumbled, voice deep and husky.

Tsukishima sat up, running his fingers teasingly up Kuroo’s stomach. Kuroo’s stomach tightened at the touch and he felt himself unconsciously leaning into it.

“Like it even better since I don’t have to pay for it,” Tsukishima mumbled. Kuroo opened his mouth to rebuttal but his voice turned into a breathy moan as Tsukishima latched onto his collarbone. Kuroo wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s head to get him closer. He bit his lip and groaned when Tsukishima sucked and bit a bruise onto his skin.

“Damn,” Kuroo hissed. He felt Tsukishima smirk against his throat as he peppered more love bites there. His hot tongue laved across the red marks all over Kuroo’s torso. His fingers slid over lines of muscle on his front and down his back. Nails scrapped dully over the bumps on Kuroo’s spine and it made him groan with a shuddering inhale.

“Okay,” Kuroo laughed breathily, “You’re gonna make me blow it before you’re even inside of me.”

Tsukishima’s hands paused but tightened a little bit, “You mean you want me—“ his voice broke off.

“Oh, yeah well I—uh did you want—“

“I thought I was going to be the um,” he coughed nervously, “The bottom?”

“I can go either way. What do you want?”

A bit of jealously piqued in Tsukishima. Thoughts of others holding Kuroo—faceless shapes stealing their pleasure from his body, obscuring his skin with their hands, empty words and false promises full of wrath and poison—shifted through Tsukishima’s mind. He wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s torso, pulling himself against him. He could feel Kuroo’s quickened heartbeat mingling with his own. That scattered the thoughts but left the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

“I want to feel you,” Tsukishima said against Kuroo’s skin.

Kuroo nodded, “Okay I can do that.” Tsukishima loosened his hold on Kuroo. Kuroo grinned down at him and ruffled Tsukishima’s hair.

“Don’t look so serious. This is gonna be fun alright?” Then he untangled himself from Tsukishima to scoot across the bed. He reached into a drawer of the nightstand and rummaged around a minute. He produced a small red bottle and a condom from the drawer. Tsukishima frowned.

“Do you have to use a condom? I’m not going to get pregnant.”  
Kuroo laughed but the sound was a bit forced, “Condoms also prevent the spread of disease Tsukki.”

“But I’m clean—oh.”

“It’s just a precaution,” Kuroo murmured. He settled back on the bed between Tsukishima’s legs, bottle in hand. The cap popped quietly and he put some on his fingers. The pads of his fingers rubbed together to warm the liquid, “I’m clean too but I haven’t been tested in like a year. So I’m being careful. Never hurts right?”

Tsukishima shrugged, “I guess.” Kuroo gave him a reassuring smile. He leaned forward and pushed Tsukishima back with his clean hand.

“Now relax and enjoy yourself.” Kuroo slinked back down, running his hand down Tsukishima’s side and leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses on his stomach. He kissed up the inside of Tsukishima’s thigh, a constellation of red marks and bruises being sucked into the skin. Tsukishima’s toes curled and his chest heaved with pants. Unconsciously, his hand pushed into Kuroo’s hair.

His own patience wearing thin, Kuroo moved his attention to Tsukishima’s sex. He wrapped his clean hand slowly around the base and brought the head to his lips. Warm breath teased the sensitive flesh and Tsukishima couldn’t help the groan low in his throat.

“Kuroo-san,” he pleaded. Kuroo glanced up at Tsukishima, lips pulled into a smirk. His own cheeks were flushed and eyes blown wide with desire.

“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, “I’ll stop messing around.” Then he lowered his mouth onto Tsukishima’s dripping cock. His fingers twitched in Kuroo’s hair. Maddeningly so, Kuroo took all of Tsukishima into his mouth, nose huffing breath into the thin hair at the base. His tongue pressed against the underside as he slid back to the top. The salty taste of pre precome coated his tongue when he swirled around the head. He increased suction as he bobbed back down and started up a steady rhythm working Tsukishima’s cock.

Tsukishima’s grip tightened in Kuroo’s hair causing him to hum in approval. The vibrations made a moan fall from Tsukishima’s lips as he let his head fall back into the pillows. Kuroo’s lubed finger teased the skin between Tsukishima’s balls and his entrance before slowly pushing in. Tsukishima grunted at the odd sensation. Kuroo released Tsukishima for a moment, running his lips down the side.

“Is this okay?” He said, sucking on the skin of Tsukishima’s sac.

“A little weird,” Tsukishima admitted between small pants.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no keep going.”

Kuroo laved at Tsukishima’s balls then pushed another finger into Tsukishima. It burned a little and was an odd sensation. However it wasn’t entirely unpleasant and Tsukishima didn’t think on it much when Kuroo took his dick back into that heavenly wet heat of his mouth. It wasn’t long before Kuroo could get a third finger inside Tsukishima. Tsukishima’s hips jerked involuntarily, hitting the back of Kuroo’s throat and making him gag. He came off quickly, coughing.

“Sorry—I didn’t—“ Tsukishima stammered. Kuroo got his breath back and shook his head.

“Wasn’t expecting it.” Kuroo kissed the inside of Tsukishima’s thigh soothingly, crooking his fingers up. They pressed against the sweet spot in Tsukishima and a surprised high pitched moan escaped him. He covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassment reddening his already enflamed skin. Kuroo reached up with his free hand and pulled away Tsukishima’s.

“I want to hear you, Tsukki,” he growled, lust deepening his voice. Pushing his fingers back in, he found that spot over and over again. Tsukishima felt shots of pleasure spiking in his body and he pushed down around Kuroo’s fingers.

“Kuroo—fuck—god Kuroo I’m gonna—“ Tsukishima whined, “I want—need you inside—Kuroo—“ A long moan ripped from his lips and his back arched off the bed. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and sweat dripped down the side of his face. His heart felt like it was going to explode and the heat of his body made him thinking he would melt. When Kuroo pulled his fingers from Tsukishima, he actually groaned at the feeling of emptiness.

Kuroo sat up and reached for the condom. He rolled it on, slicking lube on his own flushed cock. He licked his lips at the sight of Tsukishima open and wanting underneath him. Kuroo couldn’t think of a time when he had desired someone so strongly. It was a hunger that was gnawing at Kuroo from the inside out. All-consuming like the heat of the sun. Those sharp golden eyes had turned syrupy like honey in the summer. Kuroo wanted to possess every piece of the man below him. Kuroo was sin and Tsukishima was salvation.

Gently, Kuroo pulled Tsukishima forward. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under Tsukishima’s hips. He guided the head of his cock to Tsukishima’s entrance. His head pressed against the twitching rim. It was hard to swallow and Kuroo felt his heart thudding against his ribcage, blood thrumming wildly in his ears.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” He whispered. Then he pushed into him. Tsukishima placed his hands on Kuroo’s chest and grimaced. Kuroo was bigger than his fingers had been and Tsukishima could feel it.

“Hurts,” he whimpered. The burning made him gasp and squeeze his eyes shut.

“Should I stop?” Kuroo asked, concern easily discernible in his voice. Tsukishima shook his head. His hands moved and wrapped around Kuroo’s neck, fingers lacing. Kuroo waited another moment before pushing in further. The burning sensation was still there, but Tsukishima was beginning to feel the sensation of being filled. Kuroo hissed and dropped his head to Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“Take deep breaths,” he panted, “You gotta relax Tsukki.”

Tsukishima did as he was told. He inhaled until his lungs burned and he pushed the breath back out past his lips. It was shaky and puffed past Kuroo’s hair. When he had loosened himself some, Kuroo continued to move. The point of being completely inside Tsukishima came before either were expecting it. Kuroo groaned and dropped to his elbows, caging Tsukishima’s face.

“Fuck,” Kuroo moaned, “ _Fuck_.”

Kuroo let Tsukishima’s body get used to accommodating him. His breath was hot against Tsukishima’s ear.

“Can I move now, Tsukki?”

There was a shakiness to his voice that made Tsukishima shiver. After a moment, he nodded.

“I need to hear you say it,”

“ _Yes_.” Tsukki whispered. Kuroo took another second to get himself under control or he would lose it. Ever so carefully he pulled back and pushed in just as slowly. Tsukishima moaned long and low at the sensation of it. The feeling of Kuroo’s hard heat inside of him was strange but the glides were quickly bringing that light-headed pleasure back to him. Stuttered moans were pulled from his lips as Kuroo slowly drove him to madness.

“More,” he pleaded. Kuroo licked at Tsukishima’s collar bone then bit the bone with a sharp snap of his hips that made Tsukishima see stars. The question marks at the ends of his gasps soon became exclamation points. He thought he would be burned up from the very core of his being. The heat building in him threatened to spill and with each thrust he became more and more desperate for release.

Kuroo felt his body tightening like a coil. His hips snapped quickly and roughly to meet Tsukishima. His teeth ground together, unable to stop the moans from coming. He leaned down to sloppily kiss Tsukishima who reciprocated through his own wonton sounds.

“Going to—“ Tsukishima keened.

Kuroo grunted, “Me too—a little—“ He levered his thrust up and found his mark. Tsukishima’s back arched and his release painted his stomach. Two thrusts later and Kuroo found himself falling over the edge too. Panting, they stilled as they came down from their orgasms. When Tsukishima had relaxed enough, Kuroo removed himself from him. On wobbly knees, he got off the bed and tied the condom to throw it in the waste basket. He took a second to collect himself before moving into the bathroom. He returned a second later with a damp washrag. Tsukishima’s stomach tensed when Kuroo dragged the rag down it.

“Relax love,” Kuroo mumbled drowsily, “Just a little clean-up.” Kuroo finished and threw the rag somewhere, not particularly caring where it landed with a dull splat. He snuggled down next to Tsukishima on the bed.

“How are you feeling?” Kuroo asked.

Tsukishima hummed, “Wrecked.”

“You look it,” Kuroo laughed, his breath tickling Tsukishima’s shoulder. He kissed Tsukishima’s forehead, still damp with sweat. “Get some sleep, you’ll feel that in the morning.”

“I hate you already.” Tsukishima grumbled. Kuroo chuckled before he left the bed once more. The lights flickered off a moment later and the room was left glowing with the glittering lights of the high-rise buildings outside the window. The bed dipped with Kuroo’s weight and he pulled the silk sheets over them. He laid on his stomach, throwing a protective arm around Tsukishima’s torso. A grin stretched his lips when he felt Tsukishima slide his fingers between Kuroo’s.

“G’night Hotaru,” Kuroo mumbled. It was a few moments later when Tsukishima spoke.

“Kei,” he whispered.

“Hm?” Kuroo blinked open his heavy eyes, “What?”

“My name. It’s read as Kei.”

Kuroo smiled into the darkness, “Kei.”

He leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to Tsukishima’s shoulder, “Kei.”

He sat up and pulled Tsukishima’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, “Kei.”

“Kei,” he breathed against Tsukishima’s lips before being pulled down to kiss them once more.

 

Kuroo was woken up by the insistent buzzing of a phone. He groaned and reached onto the nightstand. His hand grubbed around for the offending technology and finally closed around it. He glared at the phone—noting that it wasn’t even noon.

“Tsukki,” he grumbled, “Hey Tsukki your phone.” He bopped Tsukishima’s nose with his vibrating phone. Tsukishima let out an unpleased noise of his own before taking the phone. He brought it to his ear.

“Hello, hello. Tsukishima,” he mumbled into the receiver. Kuroo took this chance to snuggle closer to Tsukishima. He pressed kisses to his jaw and neck. Tsukishima batted at him playfully.

“Kei,” Rika said on the other end of the phone, “You need to come get Daiki.”

Tsukishima woke up instantly at the sound of her voice, “Rika, is everything okay? Has something happened to Daiki?”

“Please just come get him.” Then she hung up. Tsukishima sat up and got out of the bed, evading Kuroo’s grabby hands. Kuroo frowned and sat up, the sheets falling around his waist. Tsukishima looked around and grabbed the sweatpants and red t-shirt from the floor. He pulled them on, grunting when his head got stuck in an arm hole.

“Tsukki?” Kuroo said, “Is Daiki okay?”

“I-I don’t know. Sorry Kuroo-san, I have to—“

“I know. Just be sure to call me okay?”

Tsukishima paused and looked back at Kuroo. The man offered him a small but comforting smile.

“Yeah, I will.” Tsukishima said. He scooped back in for a quick kiss. When he pulled away Kuroo trailed after him, as if chasing his lips. The look in his eyes—something like repressed rejection—made Tsukishima’s gut twist. He knelt on the edge of the bed to give Kuroo a longer, proper kiss that left a blush on both their cheeks. They lingered close to each other when Tsukishima broke the kiss.

“I’ll call you,” he whispered.

Kuroo nodded, “I know you will.”

Tsukishima turned and left with that. He pulled on the spare set of tennis shoes he had left there accidentally. Then, with a stiff back and a pain in his waist, he set off for the train station.

 

He was at the Yamaguchi residence as fast as public transit allowed him to be. He rang the doorbell, shifting from foot to foot with nervous energy. He knew he looked like a mess—hair unbrushed, face flushed from hurrying, and bruises peppering his neck that he hadn’t seen yet. The gate buzzed open and he opened the front door. Daiki was sitting on the step in the foyer, shoes already on and coat buttoned.

“Mom, I’m telling you—“ Yuta began, standing on the bottom stair.

“I don’t want to hear it Yuta!” Rika snapped, “I will not have that going on in my house!”

“Rika,” Tsukishima began. Daiki glanced up at him then back down. But it was long enough to see the redness of his eyes.

“Kei, you need to have a talk with your son,” Rika said, turning to look at him.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion, “Talk about what?”

“I found—“ Rika took a deep breath, like it was difficult for her to say, “They were kissing.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand.” Tsukishima looked back to Daiki for help.

“Daiki was kissing Yuta,” Rika rubbed her shoulders but Tsukishima didn’t miss the shudder that shook her. A heavy dread sank in Tsukishima’s stomach.

___Disgusting_ _ _

“You know how kids are,” Tsukishima tried, “They’re curious. They experiment with things. It doesn’t mean much.”

“No!” Daiki suddenly shouted, surprising Tsukishima, “I like Yuta!”

“Kei!” Rika yelled in response, “Do something!”

___Unnatural_ _ _

“Daiki, you can’t—you don’t—“

“Why not?” Daiki stood, punching his fists down at his sides. Tears made his eyes glossy and threatened to spill onto his cheeks. “Why can’t I like Yuta? Because we’re too young?”

“No because—because you’re—“

“Because we’re boys?” Daiki whimpered, small voice cracking. Tsukishima could see the hurt in his eyes and he felt what was coming next in his bones.

“If you can like Kuroo-san why can’t I like Yuta?”

The silence hung in the room like sickness. Tsukishima looked horrified at Daiki before turning his expression to Rika. She looked like she was going to throw up.

“Kei—“ she whispered, “You—then those hickeys—a _ __man___?” She hissed. Her slight form shook. Her jaw clenched and a darkness came over her eyes.

“Get out.”

“Rika listen—“

“Get out!” She yelled. Tsukishima flinched at her voice, “That’s just _ __sick_. __ Get out of my house!”

Tsukishima snatched Daiki’s hand and pulled him out of the house. He ran in a panic, dragging a shouting and crying Daiki behind him. He ran until he couldn’t breathe. The concrete met him and scraped his knees. The edges of his vision blurred black and his breath wasn’t coming in fast enough. He gasped and panted, fingernails scratching against the pavement. Daiki was crouched in front of him shouting something. But Tsukishima couldn’t hear him at all. He was so far away. Everything was so far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I'm actually on a train right now coming back from Chicago. It was my 21st birthday on Tuesday! I hope you enjoy the chapter!!!


	12. Cold Sweat

Kuroo stared at the bubbles as they lazily floated to the surface of the champagne. His shoe tapped in an erratic rhythm against the tiled floor.

“So then I told him—“ the girl continued with the story. She stopped, frowning at Kuroo, “Tetsu-kun? Are you listening?”

He didn’t respond, instead swirling the champagne fluke impatiently between his fingers. The girl huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Testu-kun.” She said with more force. This snapped him out of whatever trance he had been in. He looked up at her, blinking unknowingly.

“Sorry,” he began. A small smile formed on his lips, “What were you saying Koharu-chan?”

A frustrated flush exploded on her overly made up face. She grabbed her purse and stood abruptly.

“It’s Haruko.” Then she turned and stomped out, her heels clicking punctuations behind her. Kuroo sank back into the leather booth and exhaled loudly. His eyes slid to the side where his phone sat on the table. The screen hadn’t lit up all night and when he tried to reach Tsukki the call never went through. Kuroo had even tried the home phone but it always went to the mail system. 

Katou plopped down next to him, causing Kuroo to bounce slightly.

“Now I’m not one to criticize, having been one of the lowest earning hosts Shion has seen,” Katou said as he lit a cigarette, “But what the fuck was that?”

Kuroo fell forward, heavily putting his face in his hands, “Sorry Hocchan. I don’t—I can’t get ahold of Tsukki.”

“Is he not at work?”

“No, he doesn’t work on weekends.”

“Did you do something wrong last night?” Katou asked, cigarette forgotten between his fingers.

Kuroo paled at the thought, “No that’s not it. I mean I don’t think so. We had sex and it was so good. God fuck probably some of the best I’ve had. Not the best though—he’s in jail. Not the point.” Kuroo collected himself with a sip of champagne. “This morning he got a call from this Rika girl.”

“Are you being two-timed?” 

“What? No. Rika is a childhood friend. She was watching Daiki this weekend so we could have our date. I didn’t get much, but I think something happened.”

“Do you think Daiki got hurt?”

“I don’t know!” Kuroo shouted. This drew the attention of some people near them. The owl-eyed host across the room gave him a worried look. Kuroo shook his head minutely which calmed the other host for the moment.

“I don’t know,” Kuroo said more quietly, almost defeated, “Tsukki said he would call me. He _promised_.” 

Katou stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray. He reached out to clamp his hand on Kuroo’s shoulder, “Hey don’t worry so much. If something had happened they would find a way to reach you, don’t you think?”

“You’re probably right.”

“I bet I am. Why don’t you take the rest of the night off?”

“But I left early last night. I can’t—“

“I hate to say this, but you’re doing more harm than good being here.”

Kuroo flinched at that. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry.”

“It’s not like you to get this way, which is why I know this is serious. Go home,” Katou patted him before standing, “If any of your regulars come in I’ll see to them.”

“Somehow I don’t think you’re their type Hocchan,” Kuroo chuckled. Katou clicked his tongue in disapproval then moved to the bar to talk with the bartender. Kuroo took a moment and finished his glass. Quickly he shot off a short text to Tsukki’s phone—not that the last four had gotten responses. He let out a slow, controlled breath and left his booth.

The train was crowded when Kuroo pushed his way onto it. He was forced to stand, getting jostled by the other passengers around him. Numbly he exited the train when the automated voice overheads announced Nijubashi station. It was more like he stood at the opening doors and was forced out by the others leaving the same place. They had no time for stragglers—businessmen rushing to company dinners, women dressed lavishly, young couples hiding behind pillars to steal kisses from each other. 

Kuroo’s usual swagger was reduced to dragging heavy feet underneath him. His fingers were curled around his phone so tightly that his knuckles had gone bone-white. The street that the apartment building was on had become busy in a way Kuroo had never seen before. He didn’t know what his own neighborhood looked like at night. It probably looked like any other section of central Tokyo in the evening with friends meeting after school, people returning home after long workdays, drunks and gamblers ambling about. 

“Tetsu-san?” Squeaked out a very small voice. Kuroo’s head snapped up at the sound of his name.

“Daiki!” Kuroo hurried over to where Daiki was huddled next to his building. Daiki was shivering, his light jacket no match for the oncoming winter chill. The paleness of his skin was a stark contrast to the red-rimmed eyes. Even then he sniffled a bit, whether it be due to cold or emotions was unknown. Kuroo crouched down so he was eye-level with him. His hands roamed over Daiki’s face and down his body to check for any wounds. A sigh of relief left him when he didn’t find any harm right away.

“What are you doing here? How did you find my apartment?” Kuroo asked.

“I-I don’t know where you work,” Daiki stuttered, “And Dad gave me this address in case of emergencies.” 

“Tell me what happened.”

Daiki’s mouth opened to speak but no sound came out. Instead his lower lip quivered and suddenly fresh tears began to roll down his cheeks. Kuroo’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Hey hey hey—“ he wiped the tears from Daiki’s face with his thumbs, “Let’s get inside and get you warmed up okay?”

The boy answered with a jerky nod and a hiccup. Kuroo stood up, patting Daiki encouragingly on the head.

“It’s gonna be all right, okay?” Kuroo walked towards the revolving doors of the apartment building, “Why didn’t you go up when you got here?”

“The doorman said I didn’t have auth-authoriz—permission.”

“You are always welcome here,” Kuroo said, “I’ll make sure that you can get in whenever you need to.” Kuroo shot a nasty glare to the doorman—not the usual guy which is probably why Daiki had been left out in the cold.

When they got to the top floor and into Kuroo’s apartment, he turned on the heated floors and put on some hot tea.

“Want some milk tea?” Kuroo called from the kitchenette. He didn’t get a response, “Daiki?”

Kuroo walked into the living room to see Daiki staring at the haunted house picture. Kuroo moved quietly behind him.

“Don’t tell Tsukki,” Kuroo said conspiratorially, “But I got him a t-shirt with this on it for his birthday. Which I don’t actually know when it is—besides the point—”

“Do you love my Dad, Tetsu-san?” Daiki asked abruptly. Kuroo’s eyes shot down to him. Daiki’s gaze hadn’t moved at all from the crooked photograph.

Kuroo’s cheeks were painted a soft pink, “Well I mean—I don’t know if I would say _love_ —that is—“

“Even though you’re both guys?” Now Daiki was looking at him. His eyes were determined and focused on Kuroo’s face. Even then there was a slight tremor to his bottom lip, like he was about to burst.

“Daiki,” Kuroo cooed. He let out a small breath and then moved to sit on the big leather couch. When he plopped onto the furniture, he patted the spot next to him. After a second Daiki came over and fell onto it. He turned his light brown eyes on Kuroo and waited. Kuroo laid his arms out across the back of the couch and let his head tip back as well.

“I don’t have a lot,” Kuroo started, “I have a job, this apartment, and not much else. I’m not close with my family and I don’t have many friends. For a long time it was always just me.”

“Is that why you’re a host?”

Kuroo glanced at him from the corner of his eye, “To be wanted by others and find some perverse kind of acceptance with them?” Kuroo’s eyes shifted back to the ceiling, “Maybe. I’ve always been good at dealing with people. Maybe I wanted to be able to give others a happiness and affection I never got.”

“You sound like an old man, Tetsu-san. Should I start calling you Tetsu-oji-san?”

“Boy do you have a sharp mouth. You know you really shouldn’t take after Tsukki in that way. Girls won’t like it.”

Daiki pushed his hands under his legs, swinging his feet idly over the edge of the couch, “That’s fine by me,” he mumbled.

“My point is—“ Kuroo continued, “Until I met your dad I was essentially alone. But now I have him _and_ you.” Kuroo put his hand in Daiki’s hair, ruffling it slightly, “You’re both incredibly important to me and I would do anything in my power if it meant I could make you two happy. If that’s not love then I don’t know what is.”

“Aren’t you a little old for me?” Daiki’s nose scrunched and he reached up to move Kuroo’s hand.

“I’m only 24!” Kuroo pulled Daiki into a headlock and gave him a noogie. Daiki squealed, trying to break away from the hold. The kettle beeped from the kitchen, signaling the water was heated. Daiki used the quick distraction to get free and flung himself to the opposite side of the couch. Kuroo chuckled to himself and rose from the couch.

“Don’t think this is over,” he said, narrowing his eyes at Daiki. Daiki grabbed a blanket draped across the couch and pulled it over himself. Kuroo shook his head and moved towards the kitchen.

He was stepping into the small area when the muffled voice came from under the blanket.

“I love you too, Tetsu-san.”

Kuroo smiled and grabbed the tea and milk. He pulled a couple mugs from the nearly empty cabinets. As he waited for the tea to steep, his phone made its way back into his hands.

_daiki is @ my apt. where r u?_

_please b ok_

 

Cramped

Dirty

Cold

Dark

_Dirty_

 

 

Daiki threw himself into the front door of the apartment to get it open. Kuroo whistled appreciatively. 

“You guys should really get that fixed.”

Daiki shrugged, “It still works so why change it?” He froze when he started to take his shoes off. Kuroo noticed his stillness and also paused.

“What’s up?”

“Dad’s shoes,” Daiki whispered, “They aren’t here. I-I thought he would be home by now.”

“What do you mean? By now?” Kuroo crouched down again, “Didn’t he come get you this morning?”

Daiki’s face paled a bit, “He did but—“

“What exactly happened this morning?”

“That is,” his voice trailed off and he looked down at his hands in front of him. He picked a little at his nails, “Rika-san got mad.”

“Mad? At Tsukki?”

Daiki shook his head, “At me.”

“Why would Rika be mad at you? Did you make a mess?”

“She found me kissing Yuta.”

Kuroo felt a wave of dizziness hit him. He had a bad feeling about this. The entrance was cold and hard when he sat down heavily.

“Okay so she found you two kissing. Is that why she called Tsukki to come get you?”

Daiki nodded.

“What happened when he got there?”

“I got mad.”

“At Rika?”

“No,” Daiki shook his head, “At my dad.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why?”

“Because he didn’t say anything!” Daiki pushed his fists down at his side, “I thought it wasn’t fair. Why do you two get to love each other but I can’t like Yuta?”

“Did you say that?”

“Of course I did!” Daiki crossed his arms over his chest and turned his face away. He sniffled again, pinprick tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

“Then what happened?” Kuroo prompted gently.

“Rika-san yelled at my dad.”

“Do you remember what she said?”

“She said that—that she wouldn’t have that in her house. That it was disgusting and unnatural.” Now the tears that had been so precariously held back came sliding down Daiki’s cheeks. He hiccuped and his frame shook with his sobs.

“That’s not right, is it?” Daiki whimpered between sobs, “Is it r-really wrong that I li-like Yuta?”

Kuroo’s chest tightened uncomfortably. He reached out and pulled Daiki close to him. He crushed the youth against his chest and circled his arms around him. After his initial surprise, Daiki clung to Kuroo’s shirt and buried his face into his shoulders. Loud, tremulous wails came from his lips and made Kuroo tighten his hold.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. Kuroo stroked Daiki’s shaking back as he cried. “There are people who think like that because they don’t understand.” Kuroo placed his chin on top of Daiki’s head as he started to calm down.

“You’re perfectly fine as you are.” He pulled back slightly and caught Daiki’s reddened gaze, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. Okay?”

Daiki hiccuped and sniffled. He wiped some snot on his sleeve and nodded. The nod was so timid it was more like a shiver in itself. Kuroo gave him a disarming smile and ruffled his hair again.

“I’m sorry to bring it up again, but what happened after Rika yelled at your dad?”

“He ran.”

“He ran?” Kuroo repeated.

Daiki nodded, a frown pulling down his lips, “He grabbed my hand and ran. I kept telling him to stop but it was like he didn’t hear me. At one point he fell and I went to get help but when I came back he wasn’t there. I thought he might be with you.”

“That’s why you came to my apartment.”

“Yeah,” Daiki nodded again, “But he wasn’t there so I figured he probably came back here. I don’t—“ Daiki shook his head over and over again. “Is he in trouble?”

Kuroo chewed on his bottom lip. It sounded like Tsukki had had some kind of panic attack. He’d confided in Kuroo that he didn’t have much of a record when it came to homosexual relationships. That it wasn’t something he was ever able to explore. He’d sort of shut himself down after that, not wanting to talk about it more. Something must have happened in the past that scarred Tsukki so bad that it had lasting effects on him.

“We’ll find your dad. Go put on a heavier coat. It’s search and rescue time,” Kuroo said. Daiki gave him a mock salute and hurried to his room for his coat. 

“Okay I’ve got it! Let’s go!” Daiki ran out of his room. Kuroo grabbed for his shoes and the phone began to ring. Daiki moved to answer it.

“Hello, hello. Tsukishima residence.” His eyes widened, “Aki-nii? Why—Dad’s where?”

Kuroo’s neck felt like it would snap with how fast he turned to look at Daiki. Daiki had gone pale and his eyes were the size of plates. His hands shook around the phone, evident by the shaking of the cord.

“No I’m okay—yes—yes—no you don’t need to—mm—Kuroo-san is here—“ Daiki held the phone out to Kuroo, “Aki-nii wants to talk to you.”

Kuroo took the phone, feeling sweaty and nervous. “Akiteru-san?”

“Kuroo,” Akiteru’s voice on the other end was tense. But he sighed with a little relief, “I’m sorry to bother you.”

“It’s no bother at all. What’s happened to Tsukki?”

Akiteru paused, “I just got a call from the hospital.”

“Hospital?” Kuroo hissed. Daiki flinched next to him and Kuroo took a slow breath. “You’re the emergency contact?”

“Next of kin,” Akiteru mumbled.

“Why isn’t Daiki—“

“It’s a long story for another time,” Akiteru interrupted, “Kei is at Asakusa Hospital.”

“What’s he doing there?”

“According to the nurse, the police brought him there because they found him acting suspiciously in a nearby park.”

“Suspicious—I don’t understand. If the police—then why the hospital?”

Akiteru’s breath was harsh and grainy through the receiver, “I don’t get it anymore than you do. Can you take care of Daiki until I get there?”

“I’ll go to the—“

“You can’t.”

Kuroo inhaled sharply at Akiteru’s unflinching tone.

“I’m sorry Kuroo. But they wouldn’t let you see him anyway since you’re not family.”

“But I’m his boyfriend!”

“I know that,” Akiteru said sympathetically, “But we both know that still doesn’t hold any power in this day and age.”

Kuroo clenched his jaw tightly. He exhaled slowly through his nose. “I’m still going.”

“Kuro—“

“You can’t keep me away from him!” Kuroo yelled into the phone. The silence sat heavy on his tongue, “Sorry I—“

“No,” Akiteru whispered, “I understand. I’m getting on a train right now. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Thank you,” Kuroo breathed into the phone.

“Kuroo?”

“Yes?”

“Please take care of him.”

Kuroo swallowed against the fist in his throat, “I will.”

The call disconnected soon after and Kuroo put the receiver back on the dock. Kuroo exhaled heavily, pushing his hand through his hair. The silk shirt he wore to work was sticking to him thanks to the sheen of cold sweat now across his skin. He fluttered the front of the shirt to create a breeze. That did little to calm the nausea pooling in the seat of his belly. He turned to Daiki who stood stock still and hadn’t said a word since handing the phone over.

“Have your Suica?” Kuroo asked.

Daiki nodded and patted the pocket of his pants.

“Good,” Kuroo tried to put on a convincing smirk, “Because we’re going on an adventure!”

 

_Dirty_

_Dirty_

_dirty_

_dirtydirtydirtydirty_

 

Kuroo and Daiki walked swiftly into the lobby of the hospital. One of the receptionists at the desk bowed and welcomed them. Kuroo walked up to the desk, his hand on Daiki’s back to guide him forward.

“How may I help you?” The receptionist asked.

“We’re looking for Tsukishima Kei—“

“Written with “tsuki” from moon, “shima” from island, and “hotaru” of firefly,” Daiki chimed in. The receptionist typed the name in. A small line appeared between her eyes, a cue that Kuroo was easily able to pick up on.

“Your relation to the patient?” She asked through tense lips. 

“I’m his roommate and this is my little brother.” Kuroo answered. Daiki nodded quickly.

The receptionist stared at them for a moment before turning back to the screen, “Tsukishima-sama’s records don’t show any emergency contacts other than the next of kin—“

“His older brother Tsukishima Akiteru,” Kuroo supplied, “I moved in a couple months ago. We haven’t had a chance to change any records yet. Y’know the honeymoon phase,” he said with a sly grin and a smooth wink. She blushed lightly, turning her gaze back down to the screen.

“We have notified his next of kin, but I suppose you should also know. Tsukishima-sama was brought here by the police. They will probably have some questions for you.”

Daiki stiffened next to Kuroo. This was the first time he’d heard of the police’s involvement. Kuroo’s grip tightened slightly on his shoulder to help ground him. Kuroo simply nodded as a response to the receptionist. She regarded them for another second.

“He’s in room 1726 down the east wing,” she said, pointing her finger at the hallway to the right. 

“Thank you very much!” Kuroo and Daiki said together, bowing at the same time too. Then they were off at a brisk pace down the hallway. Kuroo didn’t even realize Daiki was struggling to keep up with him. His shorter legs were fighting to match the stride of legs that once rocketed Kuroo into the air behind a volleyball net.

“Tetsu-san—“ Daiki gasped, “I can’t—“ 

Kuroo barely acknowledged him before bending over and hoisting Daiki up into the crook of his elbow.

“Sorry kid,” he mumbled, eyes zeroed in on his target, “No time to waste.”

They were down the hall in a flash to the very last room. There were two policeman standing outside chatting amicably with a cute nurse. They looked up and noticed Kuroo barreling towards them. The policemen postured slightly, straightening themselves while the nurse scuttled away somewhere.

Kuroo halted when his entrance was barred by the taller officer. 

“Tsukishima Akiteru?” Asked the roadblock, name bar flashing “Kenda”. Kuroo ground his teeth to keep from growling.

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo answered curtly. He moved to sidestep the officer. He held his hand out.

“Sir, can’t let you in there.” Kenda said gruffly, “Family members only.”

“Please move—“ Kuroo tried again to get around him.

Daiki wrapped his hands around Kuroo’s neck and hid his face against the older man’s shoulder. He was trembling.

“Let me see him!” Kuroo yelled. He used his free arm to try and shove the officer aside. It didn’t do him much good as the second officer yanked hard on his arm. The force made him stumble and Daiki cried out in alarm. The first officer reached out and pulled Daiki from Kuroo’s grip.

“Daiki!” Kuroo struggled as the officer brought his arms behind his back.

“Tetsu-san!” Daiki wailed, terrified tears once again staining his face. Any other time Kuroo may have wondered if Daiki’s eyes would forever be puffy and red.

“I’m his boyfriend! Let me go! Kei! Kei!” Kuroo yelled, kicking and fighting against the officer who was dragging him away from room 1726. Anger turned to fear and shimmered into desperation as Kuroo got farther and farther from the room and from Daiki. All adrenaline snapped out of his limbs like a water balloon bursting. He sagged against the officer who was now keeping him standing. Kuroo stared blankly at the floor.

“Please, just let me see him,” his voice warbled and threatened to break even at such a soft volume. 

The officer paused and took a moment to let Kuroo stand back up on his own feet. He studied Kuroo for a second before letting out a sigh.

“His boyfriend?”

Kuroo could only nod weakly. The officer then started to walk back towards the room.

“You gotta behave. Can’t go around making a scene in a hospital, y’know?”

Again Kuroo nodded. Kenda, who was sitting outside the room trying to calm Daiki from hysterics, looked up. He frowned.

“We can’t—“

“Drop it Kenda,” said the officer, “He says he’ll be good. We aren’t monsters. Watch the kid will ya?”

“I’m not taking any heat for this if it goes belly up, Mashiro.”

Mashiro waved him off and slid open the hospital door, “Sorry but I can only give you five minutes for now. We’re gonna need to ask you some questions after.”

Kuroo nodded again, swallowing his suddenly dry throat, “Thank you.” he whispered.

Mashiro tipped his head before closing the door behind Kuroo.

It was too quiet in the room. The curtains were drawn and no other patients were there. Kuroo moved like his feet were made of lead. He swallowed around the ever persistent lump in his throat. The space between the door and the bed seemed like miles and Kuroo thought he would never make it. Although when he did, he couldn’t have been prepared for the state Kei was in.

A small IV dripped into Kei’s arm. Kuroo couldn’t know what it was—pain medication, necessary fluids, or anything else it could have been. Kei’s neck and forearms were completely wrapped in bandages. He had a couple band-aids on his cheeks. His glasses were nowhere to be seen. Kuroo reached out and took Kei’s hand. It smelled like antiseptic that must have been used to treat the scrapes on his palm.

“God Kei,” Kuroo whispered, cradling the hand to his chest, “What happened to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! 
> 
> I'm so INCREDIBLY sorry for this late update! I've been getting ready for study abroad in Japan. I'm actually IN Japan right now! I just got here yesterday. Which is why I was able to get this chapter out for all you lovelies! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience and continued support. I wouldn't be here without you all! <3 <3 <3
> 
> Eternal love,  
> SterlingAg


	13. Third Degree

Akiteru strode through the hospital. His feet were sure and his steps swift. The tension in his jaw would have given away his anxiety had anyone looked. Soon enough he was in the hallway moving towards room 1726. Daiki looked up at the sounds of hurried footsteps and smiled when he saw Akiteru.

“Aki-nii!” He yelled, jumping off the bench and running towards Akiteru.

“Hey there Daiki,” Akiteru answered when he was tackled by the boy. Akiteru knelt down and hugged Daiki tightly to his chest. “Are you okay?”

Daiki nodded, “Tetsu-san looked after me.”

Akiteru looked around, “Where’s Kuroo?”

“He’s inside,” Daiki motioned towards the door. Akiteru stood, leaving his hand on Daiki’s head. When he put his hand on the door he noticed that Daiki was standing awkwardly behind him.

“Are you coming in?” Akiteru asked softly. Daiki swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. After a second he shook his head. Akiteru frowned but let it be for now. Quietly he pushed open the hospital door, excusing his entry. 

The room was silent which was a little unnerving. If Kuroo was in there shouldn't he and Kei be—that is if Kei was even conscious. The bead of fear that had been gathering in Akiteru’s stomach rolled uncomfortably. It was beginning to turn into a full fledged stomach ache. He had thought that he had grown out of the physiological response. Turns out it would rear its ugly head when things got really bad. 

“Kuroo?” Akiteru called, as if afraid that his presence would shatter whatever kind of normalcy that had been created. There was a small squeak then tampered footsteps. Kuroo appeared from behind a curtain that shielded one of the beds in the room. He gave Akiteru a small smile.

“Glad you made it safely,” Kuroo said. Akiteru nodded.

“I can handle a train or two, even if I have to come in to Tokyo.” Akiteru looked around, “The police—?”

Kuroo shook his head, “I got the brunt of their questioning. They said if they had any additional questions they would contact us as needed.”

“What did they want to know?”

“Just where Tsukki was last night and this morning to kind of make a timeline.” Kuroo shrugged slightly.

Akiteru chewed on the inside of his lip, “How is he?”

Kuroo’s face stiffed minutely. He swept his gaze sideways. “He’s asleep right now.”

“Can I—?” Akiteru started, voice trailing off at the request. Lips pressed together in a thin line and hunched shoulders showed Kuroo’s discomfort. A jerk of his shoulder and a tilt of his head in the direction of the bed was the only indication Akiteru would get from Kuroo. Of course he could, he was Kei’s brother wasn’t he?

Nervousness settled in his bones like bees in a hive. He didn’t know what to expect when his fingers slid against the fabric of the divider. The swallow he forced around the lump in his throat was dry. Then he pulled back the curtain, rings sliding sharply along the rail. Akiteru paled. He was shoved to a time when a Kei with shorter hair laid the same way, tears rolling down his cheeks without a world. Their mother wailing over him. Their father shouting. Akiteru standing, shaking, in the corner.

“Akiteru-san?” Kuroo whispered, noticing Akiteru’s reaction. 

“Sorry,” Akiteru breathed, “Is there—“ He didn’t finish his sentence as he gagged. Slapping his hand over his mouth, he buckled at the knees for the wastebasket near Kei’s bed.

“Nurse—!” Kuroo yelled, “I’ll get—“

Akiteru coughed, wiping his mouth. He cringed at the spittle that stuck to his hand, “No, no I’m okay. Sorry, it’s—“ He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. A shudder wracked his body and he rested his forehead against the edge of the wastebasket. The cold, dark green plastic bit into his skin. Then a cup tapped softly against his head. Akiteru graciously accepted the cup of water from Kuroo. He washed out his mouth, spitting into the already ruined bin. They would have to tell a nurse eventually so it got disposed of properly.

“I know it’s shocking,” Kuroo began. Akiteru stood up on wobbly knees. He shook his head.

“That’s not it. It’s—it’s something else.” Akiteru took a deep breath. He frowned a bit at the acidic taste that lingered on his tongue. In the back of his mind, he catalogued the need to brush his teeth soon.

“Is this something Daiki shouldn’t know?” Kuroo asked quietly. Akiteru stared at him. He realized, absently, that he had never seen Kuroo in person. They had video-chatted when he’d been at Kei’s during their weekly Skype sessions. The built-in camera had never shown the serious planes of Kuroo’s face. Or the shadows that hid deep in his midnight chocolate eyes—that probably hid shadows deep inside Kuroo. 

The elder Tsukishima held Kuroo’s gaze unflinchingly. His nod was strong and singular. Kuroo pushed his hand through his hair in response. He returned a nod of his own—although if it was to Akiteru or more to Kuroo himself was unknown.

“Okay,” he said, “Okay. Tell me.”

 

The bell chimed to signal the end of the school day. Kei started to put away his books as his other classmates crowded around each other. Excited plans were swapped—let’s go eat somewhere, hey you wanna play soccer, a new game opened in the arcade. Kei pulled his headphones over his ears. He stood from his desk, those around him startling slightly. Kei had always been taller than most. It was a fact he was proud of since he had decided to follow in his brother’s footsteps and play volleyball. Even now as a middle schooler he was easily 10cm taller than the other students.

“Tsukki!” Called Yamaguchi. Kei barely heard his name over the sound of his music. As Yamaguchi approached him, Kei moved one speaker from his ear.

“What is it?” He asked. Yamaguchi held his bag in front of him like a shield. He flittered uneasily. They had been an odd sort of friends. Kei had defended Yamaguchi from bullies when they were in grammar school. Not because he was particularly nice or kind towards Yamaguchi, but rather he detested most things uncool. Bullying was very uncool to Kei. Since then Yamaguchi had started an uneasy friendship with Kei. So far they’d stuck together which meant something was definitely working. 

Shy and unsure Yamaguchi was such a polar opposite from cold and arrogant Tsukishima. Just standing next to each other one could see their differences. Yamaguchi was a little below average height with chestnut brown hair. Dark freckles peppered over his cheeks and nose. Kei towered above him with keen eyes that looked out from behind black rimmed glasses. His short blonde curls seemed like an ironic show of his namesake—the firefly. Nevertheless they got along and Yamaguchi would even go so far as saying Kei was probably his best friend.

“What are you doing now?” Yamaguchi asked as they walked out of the classroom. Kei shrugged, bag slung haphazardly over his shoulder. So cool, Yamaguchi thought in earnest.

“Are you going to go play volleyball?” 

Kei looked out the window at the students riding off on bikes, “Yeah probably.”

“How nice,” Yamaguchi pouted, “I have cram school.”

“Already?”

Yamaguchi sighed, shoulders sagging forward, “Mom wants me to get into a good university.”

“What about high school?”

“Aren’t we going to Karasuno?”

Kei stopped and stared at Yamaguchi who also stopped at the abruptness.

“You want to play volleyball there right?” Yamaguchi tilted his head slightly, “I can’t let you be sporty and smart. Someone’s gotta get the top ranking on tests!”

Kei was motionless for a moment. Then a warmth came into his eyes. He smirked and started moving again.

“Say that after you’ve gotten higher than me on a test.”

“Hey!” Yamaguchi yelled at Kei’s back that shook with laughter.

Later that night, Kei was practicing setting. He was in the park near his house that he came to sometimes. Every now and then there would be kids from the local high school playing volleyball. Lots of time they would let him join. Today he didn’t see any of the high schoolers he knew. There were a few older students, maybe university age, hanging out around one of the vending machines. Kei frowned. What he really wanted to be practicing was receiving. He was absolute shit at it and no matter how much Akiteru talked about his good form or whatever that didn’t mean anything if he was a weak spot to his team’s defense.

“Hey glasses,” one of the older boys called. Kei caught the ball as it came back down. He assumed that since he was the only other person in the park, they were referring to him. Turning to face them, he tipped his head up in challenge. 

“What?” He replied, all crass and no manners. A boy in a hat scowled at his rudeness. The first boy—the one who had called to Kei—held his hand out. He had a smugness in his smirk that set Kei on ~~fire~~ edge. He had black hair, long and styled on the top, cropped close underneath. Kei couldn’t tell what color his eyes were in the darkness but he was sure they were as deep as the ocean was vast. Kei ignored the thrum of blood in his veins and the hard pounding in his ears from his heartbeat. 

“It’s no fun to play by yourself,” came the words from between his lips—they looked smooth and Kei wondered what they would feel like against his throat. 

Kei looked down at the volleyball in his hands hoping the heat he felt in his body wasn’t evident across his cheeks. It had been happening a lot recently. He would be walking to school, or waiting for a bus when his skin would be consumed with heat. Something would swirl in the pit of his stomach strange, brash, and unforgiving. Sometimes it came to him at night before he went to bed, in the bath while he was soaking, even waking up sweating and with a heady need inside of him. It was probably something he should ask Akiteru about but for some reason Kei felt a little embarrassed when this feeling spread all the way to his toes.

The elder boy—whose name Kei thought would drip from his lips like honey—pushed off from the vending machine he had been leaning against. His steps were like a snake slinking towards prey. Kei wondered idly if the hands that stayed hidden inside the boy’s pockets had fingers like vines. Vines that would creep along his skin—his arms, his chest, his stomach, his—

“Do you play?” Kei forced from his throat. He hated how his voice trembled at the start. The boy was standing in front of Kei now. He smelled like a store Kei had passed in the mall once. An unknown spiciness cut the sweetness of fresh strawberries. The scent surrounded him as a fog does the bay. He blinked to try and clear the haze from him, to lift the weight from his chest.

The boy—still unnamed but not unknown—plucked the volleyball from Kei’s hands. He held it easily in his large hand. He contemplated the ball as if it could hold the answer to some question he had been pondering for some time. Evidently the ball did give him a sort of response because his lips curled up into a wicked grin.

“A little,” he finally answered, “What do you say? Wanna play?”

Kei nodded before he had even considered the question—or what would happen after for that matter.

 

“Straighten your forearms!” Shou said. 

“Yes!” Kei responded. He locked his elbows together in front of him. Shou, black hair pinned back, tossed the ball into the air. Kei’s eyes tracked the movements of his limbs. As if in slow motion, Shou’s body curled around the action. His back extended as he lifted his arm into the air. In an easy arc, he brought his hand forward—fingers straight and palm tilted in the direction he wanted the ball to go. The slap of skin against the ball startled Kei back into action. He had been distracted long enough however, that his receive wasn’t solid. The ball hit too high on his forearm and he had no control over it. Uselessly, the ball flew off to the left. 

Shou clicked his tongue in disapproval. Kei, burning with shame, trotted to retrieve the ball. His arm stung where the ball had made contact. He didn’t want to look down at the red spot in the incorrect place. 

“Try serving it back to me,” Shou instructed. 

“Oi, Shou,” called the others who had been smoking, “We’re going back!”

Shou waved them off, “Later.”

The group grumbled unhappily, being forgotten once again. It had been two weeks since Kei had first run into the group. Shou had played volleyball in high school but was injured in his third year. He was supposed to get into university on a sports scholarship and when it didn’t happen he decided to take a gap year. When Kei had asked about it, Shou had shrugged and said he wasn’t really worried about getting a degree or a job yet. Why waste his youth, he said. 

The volleyball was cold in Kei’s hands. Some dirt rubbed off on his palms and he looked at it. He rolled the ball in his palms, ignoring the dirt now smudging his hands. 

“Glasses?” Shou called. Slowly he walked over to where Kei was standing. Bending over brought their faces only breaths apart. Kei was startled and stumbled back. Shou laughed at his reaction. 

“What are you thinking about, Glasses?”

Kei cleared his throat and tried to put on a disinterested face. He wanted to make sure Shou couldn’t tell that when he hit a serve his shirt came up a bit. Kei wanted to make sure that no one knew he was memorizing the lines that sculpted Shou’s body. Kei wanted to make sure that—

“Nothing,” he grumbled, “I’m not thinking about anything.”

“Hm?” Shou straightened, pushing his hands into his pockets, “Obviously you are. You’ve been distracted all night.”

He tried to ignore the fire igniting in his belly. The images forming in his head sending sparks down his spine. 

A grin pulled at Shou’s lips, “Is it a girl?”

“What?” Kei squeaked.

“Well you’re about at that age anyway. Someone catch your fancy?”

Kei felt a blush settling on his cheeks, “Yeah I guess so.”

“Oho?”

“Th-they’re not a girl though.”

“Hm?” Shou sounded disinterested. He clicked his tongue again and looked away, “A boy then? That’s kinda gross don’t you think?”

“Gross?” Kei’s voice was too high pitched. The volleyball squeezed hard against his chest as he held onto it for dear life.

“I mean yeah,” Shou shrugged. His eyes slid back to Kei, slicing through him like a knife, “It’s not supposed to be like that. You know?”

Kei felt like the world had split open and swallowed him whole. He wished that he would disappear. Shou sighed.

“I think that’s enough for today. Why don’t you go home? Take a bath,” he chuckled, “Maybe you can wash away those dirty thoughts. See ya Glasses,” Shou gave a small wave and then walked away.

Only when Kei couldn’t feel his fingers around the volleyball did he go home.

“Akiteru? Is that you?” Kei’s mother called as he walked in.

“No,” Kei grumbled. Numbly, he pulled his shoes off and placed them into their cubby.

“Oh, Kei. I wasn’t expecting you till much later. Weren’t you going to play volleyball tonight?”

“Yeah.”

Kei’s mother moved out of the kitchen, a frown pulled down her well sculpted eyebrows. She adjusted her fashionable, raspberry colored glasses. 

“I’ll have dinner ready soon. Why don’t you go ahead and take a bath first? Akiteru should also be home in a little bit.”

Kei only nodded. He left his bag and the volleyball in the entrance. His mom’s sharp brown eyes watched him move into the bathroom. Her frown only deepened. 

The heat from the bathtub had already fogged up the mirror. Kei rinsed his body, mind mulling over the evening. He thought about how he needed to get lower in his stance to receive. He thought about how he can control the direction of the ball based on where it hit his forearm. He thought about the sound of Shou’s voice as he gave instructions. He thought about what Shou would tell him to do. Arms in front, strengthen your wrists, use less teeth, touch right—

_That’s kinda gross, don’t you think?_

Kei stared at his reflection in the mirror, unable to see more than the outline of his form. Cool green eyes were in his mind. Looking at him, pupils blown with lust. Thin lips, red and swollen from kissing so much. Skin flushed and covered with marks that were sure to bruise—

_dirty_

A loofa started to scrub against his skin. He started at the redness on his neck. It was from arousal not the heat of the water. He scrubbed and scrubbed yet the redness still remained. So he scrubbed harder. Not enough. He let go of the loofa and started to scrub at himself. His nails dug into his skin and finally the redness was disappearing. Streaks of red and little welts of blood boiled up. 

_d i r t y_

He looked down. It was all over him. Everywhere. He scrubbed his arms, his legs, his chest. Everywhere. It was everywhere. 

_dirty_  
dirty  
Dirty  
dirTY  
DIRTY  
d i r t y  
dir— 

“Kei!” Screamed his mother, “Kei stop! What are you doing? Kei!” Her voice was shrill. It should have broken the glass. It should have stopped him. 

~~It didn’t.~~

Akiteru opened the front gates to the house. The lights were all on inside. He hoped that dinner was ready because he was starving. Practice had been brutal and to top it off he had to study for entrance exams later. He groaned internally.

“I’m home!” He called, toeing off his shoes. There was no response.

“Mom? Dad?” Akiteru moved slowly into the kitchen, “Kei?”

Still nothing.

He frowned. There wasn’t a note anywhere. Plus Akiteru didn’t think that they were supposed to go out to eat tonight. On a whim, he checked his phone. Surprisingly there was a text message from his father. Akiteru’s stomach fell out from underneath him when he read it.

_At hospital. Kei got hurt_

 

Kuroo stared at Akiteru.

“Did he ever say why he did it?” He asked, throat dry. 

Akiteru shook his head, looking down at his little brother, “He never talked about it.” 

“Fuck,” Kuroo said under his breath. He swept his eyes over Kei’s sleeping form. Now he at least knew what was in the IV bag—a sedative. Apparently, according to the police, Tsukki had been absolutely hysterical when the police had picked him up. He kept scratching at himself like a madman. Kuroo drew his thumb underneath Tsukki’s eye. It was puffy and red. He must have been crying.

“Do you think we should ask him?” Akiteru mumbled, “When he wakes up?”

Kuroo sighed, “This might be something deeper than one conversation can take. I think he might need therapy.”   
“Therapy?” 

“Something’s going on in Tsukki’s head that’s messing him up. His fight with Rika brought it back up so obviously it’s still bothering him. We aren’t qualified to help him.”

“There must be some—“

“No.” Kuroo said. He looked at Akiteru. “No, Akiteru-san. We can only support him.”

Akiteru swallowed hard. He didn’t know anything about the man in front of him. Only what Kei had told him, and that was scant at best. However, in the moment, Akiteru knew that Kuroo had gone through a lot in his life—some things he may not have been too proud of. He wondered if Kei knew about them.

“I don’t know how to do that.” Akiteru confessed.

A weak chuckle came from Kuroo, “Yeah, me either. We’ll have to learn right?”

“Excuse me,” said a nurse who had just entered, “Are you the next of kin?”

Akiteru stood, “Yes that would be me.”

The nurse nodded, “We would like to take Tsukishima-san off sedatives. We also think it would be a good idea for him to spend the night for observation. Is this all right with you?”

“Yes, that sounds fine. What kind of observation would he be under?” Akiteru’s voice had taken on a more adult tone. Kuroo was impressed by the solidness of the sound. There was no shaking at all. His eyes slid to the trashcan.

“Well, that is,” the nurse squirmed, pulling the clipboard she was holding closer to her chest.

“It’s suicide watch, isn’t it?” 

Both the nurse and Akiteru looked towards Kuroo. Kuroo set his jaw, trying not to grind his teeth. He found his hand migrating towards Tsukki’s, fingers barely brushing together. The nurse nodded after a second.

“Yes sir.”

“Kei would never—“ Akiteru began. Then he stopped and took a deep breath, “I’ll leave him in your care.”

“Thank you sir,” The nurse bowed, “Now I’m afraid visiting hours are almost over. I’ll have to ask anyone who isn’t family to leave.”

“I’m not le—“ Kuroo said.

Akiteru held his hand up, effectively silencing him. “He’s family.”

“But sir—“

“He stays.” Akiteru declared. The nurse, looking infinitely uncomfortable, nodded and bowed. She moved to Kei and carefully removed the IV from his arm. She checked the bandages then left the room.

“Thank you,” Kuroo breathed. 

Akiteru nodded, “I’ll take Daiki home.”

“You don’t have to. He can stay—“

“I don’t think Kei would want that, do you?”

Kuroo chewed on his lip, “No he wouldn’t.”

“Then I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Okay. Make sure Daiki eats something before going to school. Don’t let him try to get out of going to class. He has an allowance so don’t worry about sending him with a lunch. Make sure he brushes his teeth and washes his face before going to sleep—“

“Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo blinked, “Yes?”

“I helped raise Kei, remember?”

“Oh,” Kuroo felt a blush raising to his cheeks, “Sorry I didn’t mean—“

“It’s okay.” Akiteru put his hand on Kuroo’s shoulder, “I meant what I said earlier by the way—you are family.”

“Thank you,” Kuroo said very quietly after a moment. Akiteru gave him one more smile then leaned down to softly kiss Kei’s forehead. His fingers fondly stroked through Kei’s hair before whispering something to him. His smile warbled slightly as he straightened again.

“See you in the morning.” 

Kuroo stood and waved as Akiteru exited the room. When they were alone, the room was quiet once again. It was the silence that scared Kuroo the most. Maybe scared wasn’t the right word, but it unnerved him. When he was with Tsukki, they were never quiet. If Kuroo wasn’t talking about something, then Tsukki always had something to say. Not now though, now the silence was nearly suffocating.

He pushed his hand back into Tsukki’s. 

“I’m right here, Tsukki,” he whispered, “I’m here.” He rested his head on the bed and soon his eyes were closing against his will.

 

_dirty_  
dirty  
dirty  
dirty 

Kei opened his eyes in panic. He looked around but didn’t recognize where he was. He tried to move but his body felt heavy. His eyes flickered around, all shapes blurred. Where were his glasses? His heart started to hammer in his chest. It felt like his skin was burning. What was going on?

“Tsukki?” the voice was garbled. Kei didn’t know who it was. He felt the fear and panic bubble up and he started to struggle. His own body wouldn’t listen to him as he thrashed about. 

“Tsukki stop!” said the voice again. Then Kei was being held down. “You’re going to hurt yourself!”

Kei was terrified. Then Kei felt hands on his face. He shook his head violently. He was sure he was shouting but he couldn’t be sure.

“Tsukki! Look at me!” the voice said.

“No!” Kei hissed, “No no no!”

“Kei!” Kuroo yelled. Suddenly the fog cleared from Kei’s mind. He froze, eyes wide. Kuroo’s dark eyes were searching Kei’s face. Being so close, Kei could see Kuroo just fine—and the concern that laced his features.

“K-Kuroo?” Kei breathed. Kuroo’s lips wobbled then he smiled. 

“Keep your eyes on me,” Kuroo whispered. “Okay?”

Kei nodded weakly. Exhaustion hit him like he had run into a wall. He slumped forward, but Kuroo supported him. Kuroo leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. The heat from the contact spread through Kei’s skin.

“Breathe with me, listen to my breathing.” Kuroo instructed. Kei did as he was told. Slowly, he felt the panic draining from his body.

“Better?” Kuroo asked after a few minutes had passed. Again Kei nodded. Kuroo felt his chest seize up. He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Kei and pulling him close.

“Fuck Kei,” Kuroo breathed, “I was so scared.”

Kei froze and he thought his heart would break. Hot tears flowed freely from his eyes. He pressed his face into Kuroo’s chest, wrapping his own arms around the man. His fingers scrambled for purchase and grabbed fistfuls of Kuroo’s shirt. Kei cried and cried, wailing loudly against Kuroo’s skin.

“I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry,” Kei sobbed. Kuroo shook his head and only hugged him tighter.

“I’ll always be here,” Kuroo whispered against Kei’s hair, “I promise I’ll always be here.”

Kei nodded feverishly. His tears were stopping, but his grip didn’t lessen at all. Eventually Kuroo crawled up onto the small hospital bed. He was on his side, curling protectively towards Kei. Kei used Kuroo’s arm as a pillow and spooned with his back against Kuroo’s chest. Kuroo’s steady breathing and slow thrum of his heartbeat calmed Kei. He was still a bit shaken but having Kuroo there helped. As his eyes began to droop due to pure exhaustion, he could see the outline of something on the bedside table. 

His lips turned up into a grin. It was a rubber glove blown up to look like a chicken. Kei couldn’t be sure, but the thought that Kuroo’s features had been drawn haphazardly onto the glove. He laughed softly then snuggled into Kuroo’s arm. Kei reached up and slid his fingers between Kuroo’s. He fell asleep like that, surrounded by warmth and love.

_dirty dirty dir ~~ty dirty~~_

_Loved_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Getting used to things here in Japan. It's pretty crazy! But I love it. Anyway, what a crazy last few chapters, right? Well I can let you all know something nice--the worst is over now. So there's at least that! 
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! I know that I've had so much fun writing this and hearing from you all. I love you so much and I appreciate you far more than you could ever know. This piece is going to be coming to a close soon but I can promise it won't be the last we see of our precious boys. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> See you next chapter!!  
> SterlingAg


	14. Embers

The door opened to a dark apartment. Having been unattended for weeks, the air was musty. An odd smell was coming from the kitchen. Unwashed dishes remained in the sink and the trash had long since gone stale. Shoes were haphazardly discarded at the entrance, cubbies forgone out of apathy. A red number blinked in earnest on the answering machine. It flashed “7” over and over again. The laptop sat untouched in the living room, emails and messages piling up in the inbox. Requests for past work, ideas for future work, an email from his father perhaps expressing concern in the way only a father could show. The cellphone—usually an important part of business and personal life—was dead on the bedside table and had been for a few days now.

 

Kuroo looked down at his phone. The call had gone straight to voicemail. He tried the home phone once more but was again met with Daiki’s voice telling him that they weren’t home at the moment and they were sorry for the inconvenience. 

The beep sounded. 

The phone rang hollowly through the empty apartment. The rings bounced off the walls in a too-loud sound. 

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Whoever was calling wasn’t hanging up. Maybe it was another person from work. It could be the hospital. Akiteru called once. There might have been a message from his mother.

Seven

Eight

The ringing stopped but the call wasn’t over. Daiki’s voice now traveled through the apartment like a ghost. His voice touching places he’d been but currently was not. A pang of regret may have filled the apartment’s inhabitant. It passed quickly. 

“Hey there Tsukki,” said the caller, “Why didn’t you tell me you’d gotten discharged? I leave for a couple days to take care of some things and when I get back you’ve disappeared?”

A forced laugh.

“You aren’t answering your cellphone so I thought I would give you a quick call.”

A pause.

“Daiki’s worried about you. He’s staying with Akiteru-san right now. His girlfriend absolutely loves Daiki and has been dropping some serious wedding hints.”

A swallow, distant but audible.

“I hope you’re doing okay. Give me a call back okay? Even a text would be fine. I just want to—“

Another pause.

A struggle, maybe, to continue speaking.

“I miss you Kei. I—“

A long tone, cutting off whatever was to come next. Perhaps the caller would call back to finish the message. 

A minute passed.

Then ten.

Then an hour.

They didn’t call back.

 

The coffee shop was pleasantly crowded. There were enough people to have a constant hum of chatter but not too many that you couldn’t find a spot to sit. Kuroo currently occupied one of the sleek leather chairs by the window. Steam wafted up from the sakura mocha that sat untouched on the small side table. Frequenting the shop meant that the barista knew him well enough to sketch a small cat face on the side of the cup. His name was scrawled in bubbly kanji underneath the black cat. The screen of his cell phone hadn’t lit up with any calls or text messages. 

Well, that was partially untrue. There had been a small conversation between him and Katou and another conversation that was mostly nonsense with another host. The host, Bokuto, had invited him out to drink tonight but Kuroo had to politely decline. Given the circumstances, he had a feeling he wouldn’t be the most entertaining company at the moment. As he picked up the coffee and blew a quick breath across it, his phone buzzed. His eyes fell on the sender and he tried to ignore the uncomfortable clench of his stomach.

Akiteru had written him asking if he’d heard anything from Kei recently. It had already been 10 days since his discharge from the hospital. Apparently it wasn’t just Kuroo that Kei wasn’t keeping in contact with. Kuroo replied that no, he had not heard from Kei. He decided to leave out that the lights were never on in Kei’s apartment. He didn’t tell Akiteru that when he asked the landlady about Kei, she mentioned that he was late on his rent. Or that he would be evicted if he didn’t pay, seeing as he had never paid the full amount, always a few thousand short. He didn’t mention that he had paid the remaining balance in cash that same afternoon.

The reply from Akiteru to his short message was about the same length. The message asked if Kuroo would have time this evening for a phone call. Kuroo ignored the anxiety buzzing between the characters on the screen. He didn’t think about the stress that looking after Daiki was putting on Akiteru’s relationship. He tried not to see how tired Akiteru had become from worrying about his younger brother. It was impossible to miss the effects of Kei’s absence on Akiteru. Kuroo wondered how Daiki was doing. Kuroo replied with a simple, _sure_.

It was strange, how completely a life could be altered by one person. Perhaps Kuroo was obsessed with Kei. Someone who finally loved him back—a feeling that to Kuroo was a foreign one. When he didn’t have it, he wanted it. When he had it, he always craved more. He thought he would take and take and take from Kei until there was nothing left of him. Even as a shell of a human, Kuroo would curl around him until they both returned to the earth. An all consuming want—a desire to possess. 

Then also something softer. Flashes of gentleness passed between them. The way conversation was easy, how their lips could slide comfortably against each other, how being next to Kei was enough sometimes. For so long Kuroo had only known false love and now he thought that maybe—just maybe—he was experiencing something else. His heart ached at the thought and his head swam with it all.

 

Kei stared at the ceiling. Thoughts came and went, fleeting as the seconds that passed with every breath. When he wasn’t staring at the ceiling, he was asleep. He couldn’t recall the last time he had bathed. Most of the things in his fridge were expired. He wasn’t sure the last time he had a real meal. The water from the tap was lukewarm no matter how far to the right he turned the nozzle. Although those needs barely mattered to him. He knew he needed to get up—to do something. But he couldn’t. His limbs refused to move. Not putting on his glasses made his eyes tired and unfocused, an ever present headache pressing behind his eyes. The darkness of the room crouched in the corner like demons. A finger twitched—an aborted attempt at movement. A feeling like contempt bubbled up in his stomach and threatened to flow into his veins. What was he doing? Abandoning those around him and even moreso abandoning himself. It was cowardly.

It was stupid.

It was wrong. 

_it was lonely_

That’s not what he wanted. That was never what Kei wanted. All his life he had wanted to be loved and accepted. He was smart, attractive, had good instincts—and yet he still felt incomplete. Some part of him was holding him back and keeping him from his own happiness. He thought—briefly—that maybe Kuroo was the missing piece. It quickly pushed from his mind but the taste still lingered in his mouth. He had thought that finally he could be whole. Kei could be himself and be fine and loved and wanted. 

At one point, he thought he could pretend with Ayane. It was true that he loved Daiki as if he was his own child. But he could never love Ayane and she knew it. Maybe that was why she chose Kei to run to that night. Kei was responsible and he already had a connection with Ayane through Akiteru—the two having dated for years. Ayane became a mentor that Kei could look up to. She was one of the first people Kei had come out to. She wasn’t disgusted, a little confused at first, but came to treat him no differently than before. Kei had been safe and Ayane exploited that of him. Then she disappeared and Kei felt a different sort of betrayal. But like any kind of roadblock he encountered, he squared his shoulders and figured out how to get over it.

Now here he was, lying in a dark apartment in the same clothes for a week. Had it been a week? Less? More? It was impossible to count the days when he never knew how much time passed while he slept. Had he even woken up? Maybe the next time he opened his eyes he would find himself still curled up against Kuroo in the hospital bed—that ridiculous chicken glove semi-deflated on the bedside table. Kei closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and slowly released it. 

_one_

_two_

_three_

He opened his eyes.

 

“If it’s too much trouble Daiki can—“

“No no,” Akiteru interrupted, “He’s fine here with us. Mayuka loves helping him with studies and he’s already made friends with some local boys. He doesn’t ask about Kei though.”

Kuroo let out a breath, “He doesn’t want to be a bother.”

“Daiki would never—“

“I know, but he’s young and he’s already been through a lot.”

“You’re right,” Akiteru sighed. It was a strained sound and was an example of how exhausted he was about this whole thing. “We’ll just be more attentive about it.”

“If you aren’t careful he won’t want to come back.” Kuroo said with a mirthless laugh.

The two were quiet for a moment, having run out of easier topics. Neither really seemed to want to talk about the more important one. 

“And Kei?” Akiteru broached.

“I’m sorry. I really haven’t had any contact with him.”

“I couldn’t believe that the hospital released him without contacting either of us. At least the next of kin should have been made aware.”

“They probably thought that since Tsukki isn’t a minor he was able to make the decision himself.”

“Yes but—“ Another harsh breath, “I’m worried about him.”

“Akiteru-san he’s—he wouldn’t—“ Kuroo paused. It wasn’t as if he didn’t believe in Kei, but there was something going on that he didn’t understand. 

“Are there any others that he’s close to who he may have contacted?” Kuroo ended up asking. 

Akiteru thought for a moment, “The only people Kei is close with are Tadashi and Rika.”

“Rika?” Kuroo perked up at the name, “Daiki had mentioned that Rika was the one who yelled at Tsukki.”

“Maybe they’ve heard from him?”

“It’s worth a try I guess. If anything they might know what’s going on. Do you have their address, Akiteru-san?” Kuroo asked, looking around for a scrap of paper to jot it down on.

 

Kuroo checked the hastily scrawled address on his palm. Some of it had smudged, but most of it still remained. Nevertheless, he’d managed to find the place. The house was modest, an unobtrusive sandy color to a simple two story house. It had a small yard with an empty flower bed. There was a volleyball near the door and Kuroo wondered idly whose influence that had been. Even the nameplate was done in a nice conservative traditional style—the characters burned onto high quality wood. 

He would have liked to have been here on different circumstances. Inviting Tsukki’s childhood friends over for dinner at his apartment. Cooking a meal for them that might have been a little burnt. Hearing stories of Tsukki as a child—learning parts of him that Kuroo still didn’t know. 

With a heavy sigh, Kuroo pressed the intercom buzzer.

“Yamaguchi residence,” said a man’s voice. 

Kuroo leaned down so his face was in view of the camera, “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou—a friend of Tsukishima’s?” 

Silence. 

“Hello?” Kuroo tried again, stomach churning uncomfortably. Without warning the front door of the home burst open. 

“You—“ The man from the doorway said. He struggled for a moment with changing his indoor shoes for some outdoor ones. Curses were muttered and Kuroo could only stare in silence. When he finally won his battle with the shoes, the man rushed to the gate. He was slightly breathless and stared at Kuroo from the other side of the gate. Suddenly he bowed deeply, his brown hair falling over his eyes.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi,” he said from his bent position. Then he straightened and stuck his hand out, “Pleased to meet you!”

Kuroo couldn’t help but to stare uselessly at the hand offered to him, “Uh—Kuroo Tetsurou. Just Tetsu is fine though.” He answered before taking Tadashi’s outstretched hand and shaking it. 

“I’m sorry for coming so suddenly—“

Kuroo stopped talking when he saw the look in Tadashi’s eyes. The gentle apology was evident in his unassuming face, peppered with freckles sweet as an afternoon love affair. 

“Won’t you come in?” Tadashi asked, opening the gate. It squeaked softly, “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Without waiting for a reply, Tadashi turned and walked back towards the house. The front door was still open, left ajar by the abruptness of Tadashi’s exit. Kuroo took a deep breath and forced his shoulders back. Behind him, the gate closed without a clang of metal and Kuroo wondered briefly how often Tsukki had walked through the same entrance. 

 

He plugged his phone in for the first time in days. Thankful for energy, the technology buzzed on the table. Kei didn’t look at it yet. He didn’t want to know what words awaited him, harsh black on stark white. Clothes smelling of stale sweat dropped to the floor soundlessly. Steam filled the bathroom as hot water filled the tub. 

Ever so slowly, the grime fell from Kei’s skin. He was careful of the not-yet-healed cuts. Soap suds gently ran over his battered body, rejuvenating but not quite forgiving. The water running over him was relaxing and the pitter patter of it against the tiled floor let Kei’s mind wander a bit. His thoughts went to Daiki—

_Was he eating properly? Was he keeping up with his homework? How was he doing?_

Shampoo dripped between his fingers before messaging it into his scalp. The short hair was oily and caught all soap applied. Kei rinsed only to squeeze more shampoo onto his palm. His thoughts went to Akiteru—

_Had he gone back to Shiroishi yet? Was he worrying about Kei? How many times had he called? How many messages had he left on Kei’s phone?_

Finally large bubbles started to lather on Kei’s head. It was like a fog was clearing from his mind. He felt ten times lighter, relieved of the dirt and exhaustion of the past days. His body now clean, Kei let himself sink into the steaming bathtub. Long limbs submerged into the pearlescent water. His eyes stared at the wall and watched the condensation bead and drip down the tile. Closing his eyes, Kei found him waiting behind his eyelids. 

_Kuroo_

 

A sneeze pushed violently through Kuroo’s nose. He wiped his nose and then stared at the tea in front of him.

“Sorry, we don’t have coffee,” Tadashi apologized, taking the seat across from Kuroo.

“No no, I’m sorry for making you go to all this trouble.”

A small laugh, “It’s no trouble at all.”

As Tadashi dropped a couple sugar cubes into his tea, Kuroo took the time to look at the man in front of him. Freckles peppered across the bridge of his nose and spilled onto his cheeks. Even as an adult he looked youthful and kind. His brown hair was silky smooth and laid straight. There was one curl of hair that rebelled and stuck up ever so slightly. Where Kei was all angles and harsh lines, Tadashi was softness.

Tadashi cleared his throat and Kuroo realized he’d been caught staring. Unthinking, Kuroo blurted out the first thing that came to mind.  

“So you know?”

His smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, “I know many things, Tetsu-san. I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

“I mean—“ Kuroo wondered where his cool had gone, “About Kei—?”

“Do I know that he’s gay? Or that he’s dating you?”

“How did you—“ 

“I told you—I know many things.” Amusement sparkled in Tadashi’s dark eyes, “Not to mention you’re exactly Tsukki’s type.” 

Kuroo made an indignant squawk and Tadashi nearly choked on his tea. Even his laughter was warm and it was one of the most genuine sounds Kuroo had ever heard. 

“Sorry sorry,” Tadashi said through his dying laughter, “I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s true though—Tsukki always seems to be drawn towards people like you.”

“What do you mean, like me?” Kuroo’s face was slightly flushed and he wondered what Tadashi saw of him through Kei’s eyes. 

The brunette hummed thoughtfully, “You should ask Tsukki about it.”

“Maybe I will,” Kuroo’s eyes cast downward involuntarily, “Actually, have you heard from Kei recently?”

“No I can’t say I have,” Tadashi’s brow furrowed, “I haven’t seen him for a few weeks. And I thought it was quite strange to have you here without him. Has something happened?”

Kuroo’s lips pulled down in a terse frown, “I was hoping you could tell me.”

 

The message alerts remained unread on Kei’s phone. He chose to continue putting that off and went instead for the fridge. An hour later, his trashcan was full and he hoped combustibles would be picked up soon. The bag was put outside the apartment with a plastic sounding thump. Dishes made their way into the dishwasher, the mechanical whirring filling the small space of the kitchen. Kei scrounged around in the cupboards for the last cup noodle and put the kettle on. Then he walked into the living room. With a deep inhale, he flicked a light on.

 

“Daiki and Yuta? I can’t say I’m surprised,” Tadashi said, taking a long drink of tea, “I hadn’t thought Rika would react that way. I thought she knew about Tsukki—“

“Kei must not have thought to come out to her. Maybe he thought you would tell her?”

“That’s not my place,” Tadashi shook his head. “I remember though—when he was in the hospital before. We were in middle school. I went to visit him and take him his homework when he didn’t come to school for a week. He was—I don’t like thinking about it.”

Kuroo nodded and didn’t press, “He isn’t answering his phone.”

“If you give him time he picks himself back up. I’ve seen him get in slumps before.”

“This might be more than just a “slump” Yamaguchi-san.”

“Tadashi—“ he corrected automatically, “I’m sure he’ll come out of it. Tsukki’s too stubborn to stay down for long. Especially now that he has people who care about him.”

Another flush spread across Kuroo’s cheeks. He took a drink of his tea to try and calm himself. “Then about Daiki and Yuta—“

“I’ll talk to Rika. It must have been too much for her in one day.” Tadashi’s voice was stern when he spoke, but his eyes remained gentle, “I know she loves Tsukki and Daiki from the bottom of her heart. She must have been shocked. It might take time, but I think she’ll be able to accept them both. She’s really not so awful of a person.”

“I only believe that because it’s you saying it,” Kuroo admitted softly. There was still a bitter taste in his mouth when Rika was mentioned. However, she was also someone important to Kei and he needed to let her have her own chance. Not that he wanted to give her too many of them.

“She should be home soon from shopping, would you like to st—“

“No,” Kuroo interrupted, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

Tadashi gave him a long look before nodding, “I understand. Before you go can we exchange addresses?”

 

The sun was painting the town in a sea of molten reds and muted oranges. Wind crinkled the plastic of the convenience store bag Kuroo was carrying. A couple beers and a small bento bounced against his leg as he walked. Overhead the caw of a crow echoed off the close walls of the homes and crowded buildings. Kuroo stood to the side of the narrow street as a moped rushed down the road. Even after the bike had passed, Kuroo stayed leaning on the sun-warmed plaster wall. Head tipped back, his eyes roamed over the sky. Something like hopelessness started to blanket him, a heavy curtain falling over his entire body. He knew he couldn’t let it get to him and just like that the feeling turned to frustration. Kuroo cursed under his breath and softly pounded a closed fist against the wall. The thud of his skin on the now shadowed building was swallowed by the deafening silence around him.

Kuroo’s feet dragged beneath him. This was a street he had walked so many times before. He thought he could almost hear the echo of a second pair of feet with him. Ghosts of laughs and snide remarks whispered between the buildings and alleyways. A few elder women who recognized him greeted him nicely. He responded in turn, all forced politeness. They went on their way and Kuroo was again alone on a street he knew too well, yet felt so foreign to him. His feet carried him automatically to the seven story apartment complex. The beer cans clattered noisily against the cracked concrete. He’d dropped the bag, dinner forgotten completely. His body had gone stock still as he stared up at the building. Suddenly he spurred forward and surged up the stairs.

There was a light on in Kei’s apartment.

 

Kei’s body seized up at the sound of bangs on his apartment door. He put the tea he had been drinking down.

_bangbangbangbangbang_

All fast and loud and right after the other. Then the voice came—

“Kei?”

Desperate. Breathy. Quick.

“Kei are you in there?”

Hopeful. Thin. Strained.

“Kei?”

A pause.

“At least let me know you’re okay.”

Softly.

Kei’s body had gone cold then flushed from head to toe. Hot shame boiled his blood and churned his stomach. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them close. His eyes squeezed shut tightly.

There was a soft thump against the door. Something gentle, a scraping sound and another muted thud.

“Kei,” a small voice,” _please._ ”

Before Kei realized it, he had shot from the chair and moved to the door. His hand shook as he slid the lock back and opened it. Kuroo’s hand fell from the stained wood and he looked up from where he had sank to the ground. His hair was even messier than usual, dark bags under his eyes stark against his face. The smile that pulled at his lips wobbled slightly. He looked as if he would say something, but no words fell from his mouth. Kei’s heart stuttered when Kuroo’s eyes grew misty and he brought a hand up to swipe furiously at them. 

Kei’s descent to the ground was a loud thud, bony knees hitting harshly against the floor. His legs sprawled out around him at odd angles. Eye to eye, Kuroo stared at Kei. His hand trembled when he reached out for Kei. The blonde flinched slightly, inhaling sharply. Kuroo’s eyes widened and his hand halted midair. Pain flickered across Kuroo’s face before he started to withdraw his hand. 

“No!” Kei hissed, scrabbling for Kuroo’s hand like a falling man looking for purchase. He pressed Kuroo’s open palm against his cheek and nuzzled against it. The warmth spread through Kei’s body and he felt his heart swell. A shaky exhale puffed against Kei’s face as Kuroo slumped slightly.

Kuroo opened his mouth then closed it. He swallowed hard, eyes turning down then finding Kei’s gaze again. 

“I’m sorry,” Kuroo breathed. Kei shattered. He stared long and hard at Kuroo before his vision swam with tears. 

“Why are you apologizing?” 

“I don’t know,” Kuroo admitted between his own hiccuped sobs. Kei let go of Kuroo’s hand to grab onto his shirt and bury his face into the crook of Kuroo’s neck. The collar of his shirt became damp quickly. Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kei and held him close. He lost himself in the feel and smell of Kei.

 

They were laying together on the couch, feet tangled loosely and limbs crushed between warm bodies. A blanket was lazily draped over them and the tv was turned off. Silence surrounded them but it was no longer suffocating. Not many words had been exchanged between them since Kuroo had come in. There wasn’t much to say. Kei knew what he had done and he felt awful for it. But Kuroo wasn’t admonishing him—he wasn’t even angry. He was just glad that Kei was recovering at his own pace and coming back to himself. 

Kei snuggled into Kuroo’s chest, snaking his arms around his waist. Kuroo sighed contentedly with sleep making his body heavy. He let his face nuzzle into Kei’s hair.

“Move in with me,” Kuroo mumbled sleepily. For a minute Kei didn’t say anything then he slowly turned his eyes up to look at Kuroo. The elder male had fallen into an exhausted sleep and soft breaths were warming Kei’s skin. He swallowed down the anxiety in his throat and felt it settle like a rock in his stomach. The worlds swirled over and over in his head making sleep difficult to come even surrounded by Kuroo’s comforting embrace.

 

Two days later Daiki came bounding back to the apartment. He threw himself bodily into Kei’s arms. Kei hugged him tightly, whispering apologies into his hair. Daiki shook his head and refused all of them, saying Kei had done nothing wrong. That he loved Kei and he had missed him. They invited Akiteru inside for lunch and Daiki was more than happy to help make it. 

After eating and cleaning up, Daiki went into the living room. He chose a movie and put it on, calling the Tsukishima brothers to join him. They all squished onto the couch, Daiki between them. It was a movie that Daiki and Kei had watched so many times the two could quote it to each other. Daiki fell asleep towards the middle, the train ride from Sendai to Tokyo having taken a lot out of him. The movie droned on in the background, though neither Kei nor Akiteru were really paying it any attention.

Kei inhaled deeply, hand ruffling Daiki’s hair gently.

“Kuroo asked me to move in with him.”

Akiteru paused with a handful of popcorn halfway to his mouth. His eyes slid over to Kei, searching his expression for any kind of joke. There was none. The popcorn returned to the bowl in his lap.

“That’s pretty serious.”

The younger brother nodded and looked down at Daiki.

“Did you give him an answer?” Akiteru continued.

“No,” Kei rolled a piece of Daiki’s hair between his fingers, “I don’t—“ He choked off his thought. 

Akiteru sighed softly, “It’s scary isn’t it? Not only are you involved but there’s Daiki to consider to.”

“I don’t want to hurt them,” Kei said after a long pause. 

“Do you think you would?”

Kei looked at Akiteru and his brother looked back at him steadily. There was no judgment or condescension in his eyes. Only love and acceptance radiated from his brother. A conversation on equal terms between two adults. 

“If you aren’t comfortable with it,” Akiteru began, “Then tell Kuroo-san. I know he’ll understand. This is your first serious relationship and things are a bit complicated. But don’t sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of others, okay?”

Kei only nodded in response. His hand had become tangled in Daiki’s soft brown hair.

 

Tadashi sent him a message saying he was free tomorrow and wanted to have lunch. Something about finishing a big project at the firm and wanting to see Kei. So Kei found himself at a family restaurant looking over various strawberry parfaits on the menu. When a body slid into the booth across from him, he sighed.

“You’re late Tad—“

The words dropped from his mouth like rain into the ocean, disappearing on the wind. Rika sat in the booth, not quite looking away from him but not meeting his eyes. 

“I wasn’t expecting you,” he said dryly after a moment. Rika’s mouth pulled down into a frown. She glanced up at him then back down at her tightly clasped hands in front of her. A loose bit of skin hung from her cuticle where she picked at it nervously.

“I—“ she started then stopped. She chewed on her lower lip.

“If you’re here to apologize, I don’t want it.” Kei said dangerously. This brought Rika’s attention on him. He sighed.

“I know you meant what you said that day,” he continued, “This apology wouldn’t be for me—it would be for you. To somehow ease whatever guilt has been eating at you since then. If there is any at all. I understand what you feel and I accept that.”

“Kei I—“ Her voice choked off, “I grew up thinking that people fell in love, married, and had children. That’s what I was taught—it’s what I know. I can’t understand how you feel.”

He tried to hide his wince but they were both speaking with harsh tongues. A conversation between two people who had once been on equal terms, now unsteady between them to the point of breaking. 

“But I shouldn’t have reacted the way I had,” Her gaze returned to her hands, “I want Yuta to grow up and be happy. If he likes boys then—then it’s going to be hard for him. I was scared. You can understand that can’t you?”

“The world is changing Rika.” He said simply. 

She let out an uneasy breath, “I know that. I know that but still—“

“We can’t protect them from everything,” his voice was much kinder this time. Rika nodded—mostly to herself—then looked up at him.

“Kei I don’t completely understand what’s going on with you. What I do know is that I love you and Daiki and I don’t want to lose you both. I—“ She swallowed, “I don’t know if I can accept your lifestyle right away, but I want to try.”

Their eyes didn’t move from each other, both too stubborn to look away. Kei couldn’t help the smirk that ghosted his lips. 

“Okay.” He said. Rika’s shoulders sagged in relief and she leaned back against the booth. She smiled at him and he returned the expression.

After a minute of looking over the menu, Kei flicked his eyes over the top at her.

“Do you want to meet him?” He asked softly.

“Hm? Who?”

“Kuroo,” Kei said clearly, “My boyfriend.”

Rika put her menu down to look Kei straight in the eye. A slight flush had come over her face and Kei could see the discomfort in the pin scratch line between her eyebrows.

“Yes,” she said with some difficulty, “I would like to meet your boyfriend.” It seemed as if she rolled the word around in her mouth to see how it felt. 

“He’s a real beauty.” Kei said with a snigger.

A kind light came into Rika’s eyes, “He must have been to catch your eye.” 

The words echoed from an all too familiar conversation. Their smiles were comfortable and natural, although some tension still remained between them. A wall they would have to get over together.

 

A huge yawn split Kuroo’s face. He scratched his stomach as he walked into the bathroom. In the morning his hair was the most untamed so he didn’t even bother with it. Nothing more than a heated glare towards the unruly mop. His morning routine was like everyone else’s—brush teeth, wash face, piss, wash hands, have breakfast, get dressed. He settled onto the leather couch that squeaked under him and turned on the television. There was some daytime variety show that he watched with little interest. A few minutes later, his phone buzzed on the glass coffee table.

_Can I come over?_

Kuroo smiled down at his phone and responded with a quick _of course~_ with a little heart at the end.

Twenty minutes later Kei was letting himself into the apartment, guided by a doorman. He took his shoes off, excused his entrance, and walked towards the sounds of the television. Kuroo tipped his head back and grinned at Kei.

“Mornin’ babe,” he purred. Kei rolled his eyes and draped his suit jacket over a chair.

“It’s the middle of the afternoon.” He joined Kuroo on the couch. Kuroo moved his arm up to the back of the couch and Kei slid in next to him. They fit together well—physically, aesthetically, emotionally. For a while the only sound was the program on the television. Every now and then one of them would comment on it only to lapse back into the companionable silence. 

During the change in programs, a short cooking instructional video playing to fill the space, Kei cleared his throat.

“About moving in—“

Kuroo blinked and looked at Kei, “Moving in?”

“You asked me to move in with you a few weeks ago.” Kei’s eyes narrowed and he frowned, “Did you forget?”

“Did I ask that?” Kuroo hummed thoughtfully, “I guess that wasn’t a dream then.”

“A dream?” Kei scoffed.

Shoulders shrugged noncommittally, “I mean it either way—I want you to move in with me.”

The pause was a bit too long. Kei rolled a few thoughts around in his head, things that he had been going over for days now. 

“I can’t.” He finally decided on, “The apartment is close to Daiki’s school and I don’t want to uproot him in the middle of the school year.”

“I figured you’d say something like that.” Kuroo stood from the couch, pushing his arms into the air to stretch out his back. He yawned again, “Wait here for a sec.”

His bare feet padded out of the living room and into the bedroom. He returned a minute later and held his hand out. Hesitantly, Kei opened his palm. A keycard was dropped into his hand.

“What’s this?” 

“A spare key.” Kuroo answered. When Kei looked up at him, Kuroo smiled, “Even if you don’t live here, I want you to know that this is a safe place for both you and Daiki. I hope that someday you might be able to call this place home too.”

Kei stared at Kuroo then down at the keycard. He thumbed over the cool, black plastic. On the back his name was engraved in silver script on the card, characters sparkling like stars.

Affection and adoration overflowed from his chest and he felt it rush through his veins to every part of his body. Here, in this place and time, with this person—that’s where he belonged. Kuroo, Daiki, Tadashi, Akiteru, even Rika—they were all people who loved him and cared for him. They knew so many parts of him and accepted each and every one of them. His emotions threatened to spill over but Kei only smiled gently. He looked up at Kuroo and he saw the same feeling reflected in Kuroo’s eyes. 

He stood to match Kuroo. His hands settled on Kuroo’s chest and he stepped into the man’s space. Kuroo let him in, placing his own palms on Kei’s waist. Kei closed his eyes and tipped his face forward. Their foreheads met and the point of contact was hot between them. So close, breaths mingled easily like wind from the same cloud. 

Kei’s voice was soft, “I’m home.”

“Welcome home.” Kuroo whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so emotional right now. This story and these characters are very dear to me. The fact that I got to share this with all of you wonderful people makes me so proud. I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I did. I wish it wasn't over and I know I will never truly be done with this story. Thank you so much for reading and loving it through this whole thing. I love you all and both me and this story couldn't have done it without you all. <3
> 
> Thank you for everything.
> 
> Cordially and forever yours,  
> SterlingAg


End file.
